


The World Is A Curse

by Winter_Oswin



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Adopted Children, Adopted Sibling Relationship, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BAMF Spencer Reid, Cat Adams is a bad mom, Child Abuse, Childhood Trauma, Drug Addict Spencer Reid, F/F, F/M, Foster Care, Hurt Spencer Reid, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Like, Parent-Child Relationship, Past Child Abuse, Past Drug Addiction, Past Sexual Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Secret Children, Spencer Reid acknowledges his drug addiction, Spencer Reid has a daughter, Spencer Reid is a good dad, Spencer Reid's daughter is not a carbon copy of him, That's an annoying trope to me, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, really bad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:35:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 56,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26091979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winter_Oswin/pseuds/Winter_Oswin
Summary: "I'm so sorry Spence- I don't know how to tell you this but... It's Cat Adams.", JJ said and Reid's heart skipped a beat. He hadn't heard that name in years. Last time he checked Cat was on death row, awaiting execution for her crimes."What about her?", Reid asked, his voice suddenly faint."She escaped prison last night."The day that Spencer's life got blown to pieces once more, started out just the same as all the other days that came before it. That's the problem with catastrophes, sometimes they come with no warning signs and sometimes you just miss them . SOmetimes your're too busy livivng your perfect life to notice the nuke that is heading towards you.Reid should've known that things were going a little too well for a little too long and just as he suspected, he just wasn't made for this kind of life.
Relationships: Catherine "Cat" Adams/Spencer Reid, Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss, Luke Alvez/Penelope Garcia, Maxine "Max" Brenner/Spencer Reid, Spencer Reid & Original Character(s)
Comments: 48
Kudos: 166





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! This is a fanfic based on the premise "what if Cat didn't loose the baby and the kid showed up 16 years later". Just a heads up, it's gonna be quite dark so I'll put individual warnings in front of each chapter. I hope you enjoy this little prologue!

The day that Spencer's life got blown to pieces once more started out just the same as all the other days that came before it.

He woke up next to Max, she was still dead asleep and he knew that that wouldn't change for another 30 minutes so he got up and made his way to the kitchen where he started to make coffee.

Ely, their son, joined him 10 minutes later and together they ate breakfast, talked about Ely's schoolwork, his plans for the weekend, his girlfriend, whatever was on the boys mind. That morning he was telling him about a party he wanted to go to one saturday after his showcase.

"Lory Baumann is throwing an aftershow party of sorts.", he explained as he shovelled oatmeal into his mouth. "Kelly wants to go there. Would that be alright?"

Reid glanced at his son over to rim of his coffee-mug. He knew that people were surprised whenever he introduced Ely as his son. After all, the black boy with dark curls and even darker eyes didn't look anything like him. 

Max and Spencer had adopted Ely 7 years ago. Spencer had met the boy through a case in which Ely witnessed his foster-mother's murder. It was a long and heartbreaking case but over the course of several weeks Reid formed a bond with the boy and when the case was solved neither of them were ready to say goodbye. 

Max and Reid never had children of their own, not because they hadn't tried. They had tried pretty much everything but somehow it just wasn't ment to be. That is until Reid met Ely. Now neither of them could imagine living any differntly. With Reid teaching at the FBI academy, Max working as an art professor and Ely starting his last year of highschool before going off to college next year, things couldn't be more perfect. 

For a long time Read didn't believe that he was capable of leading such a life. One where not every moment was painted by tragedy. Where he could have teacher parent conferences, lazy sunday afternoons and family vacations. But here he was, leading the life that he had never thought possible. 

"Is there going to be alcohol at the party?", he asked his son with a raised eyebrow. 

"I think so, yeah. But only wine. And Lory's parents are gonna be there.", Ely replied honestly. Reid wasn't surprised. He knew the Baumanns from several school events and they were a unconventional but still responsible bunch. That was a pretty common theme at the performing arts high school that Ely was attending. 

"Well as long as you don't drink and drive, we're good. We could drop you off at Lory's house after the showcase and I could pick you up later? Or are you sleeping over?", Reid suggested. They had the drink-responsibly-talk several times and Reid trusted Ely. He knew how responsible his son was. 

To his surprise Ely blushed a little and quickly looked down at his breakfast. "I was actually thinking that I could sleep over at Kelly's house?", he asked meekly and Reid had to stop himslef from grinning.

"If Kelly's parents are okay with it, then so am I. But just remember, if you choose to do anything-", he started to lecture him and Elx gave him a horrified glare.

"Nope, I'm not talking about this.", Ely quickly snapped, already hurrying to get up. 

"All I'm saying is that you need to make sure that you're being safe-", Reid continued. Like every dad he enjoyed this way too much to give it up.

"Yeah dad, we had the save sex talk already, I'm good, I don't need to hear the teen pregnancy statistics.", He stated, putting away his dishes and reaching for his backpack to exit the situation as quickly as possible. 

"Are you sure? I have an updated version now? For example, did you know thtat they noticed a correlation-", Reid smirked. He was just messing with Ely at this point. 

"Yeah, no thanks! Imma head out or I'll be late, love you dad!", Ely yelled back, fleeing the scene. 

"Love you, too!", Reid yelled back, making no attempt to mask the grin on his face. He was so incredibly proud of Ely. When he had first met him, Ely had been suffering with selective mutism caused by previous traumatic events. Getting him to come out of his shell was a struggle but after years of therapy Reid was amzed how well adjusted and sociable his son was. God knows, Reid wasn't like that when he was Ely's age.

He quickly cleared the table before pouring another cup of coffee for Max and making his way back to their bedroom. Once he got back into bed Max shifted slightly, letting out a low groan. Apparently th smell of coffee was pulling her back into the land of the living. 

"Morning Maxine.", he whispered, leaning over her.

"Don't call me that, Spence-", she mumbled but he could see a smile pulling at her lips. She blinked up at him tiredly and Reid couldn't hold back the smile that was pulling at his lips. She was so beautiful and every day he woke up next to her he couldn't believe his luck. 

"I made you coffee.", he announced, holding it up to show her and Max immediatly perked up a little. 

"Alright, you're forgiven.", she chuckled, grabbing a hold of the cup before pressing a kiss against Reid's lips.

Reid leaned back to give her room to sit up properly. Her hair was standing up in all directions. Max' hair had started to go grey pretty early on and after dying them for a couple of years she decided to embrace them, so now she made no attempt to hide her grey streaks.

"Is Ely off to school, yet?", she asked before taking a sip of her coffee.

"Yes, he just left. He asked if it is okay to sleep over at Kelly's on saturday.", Reid explained, giving his wife a meaningful look. Max nodded along, a knowing smile on her lips.

"And how do we think of that?", she asked and Reid shrugged along.

"We think that we did our best to raise Ely into the responsible young man that he is and that he never did anything that would warrant our distrust.", he replied and Max smirked.

"Good that we think that. We're really killing this parenting thing.", she joked before gulping down the rest of her coffee. Sometimes Reid wondered if Max had burned her throat so much with hot coffee that she didn't even feel the heat anymore. 

"Now that we have the place to ourselves and you have no early classes today-", she then started saying as she put the cup down on her nightstand. "-how about we stay in bed a little longer."; she then suggested, turning back to Reid with a seductive smile on her lips.

"I might work late but you have to go soon or you'll be late.", Reid pointed out but he was already inching closer. There was no real attempt to stop this, he never wanted to stop any of this. 

"Nah, no student ever complains when their teacher is a bit late- I'll be fine.", Max giggled, cupping Reid's face with her hands and pulling him on top of her. "I'll be better than fine, actually."

"Well if that's the case-", Reid mumbled under his breath, ready to kiss her when his phone went off on the nightstand. Not his regular one, but his work phone. The one for emergencies. Both him and Max froze.

"I have to get that.", he announced and Max nodded along.

"I know. "

Reid sat up and reached for the phone, picking it up without checking the caller ID. There were very few people who had this number.

"Dr Spencer Reid, hello?", he greeted.

"Spencer! Why aren't you picking up your phone? Didn't you see my messages?", JJ asked him on the other end of the line and she sounded frantic which was rare. It immediatly filled Reid with dread. If JJ was this upset something awful must've happened. 

"I didn't look at my phone today, yet. What happened, JJ?", he asked, not masking the concern in his voice. Max gave him a worried look. She could also tell that something was off.

"I'm so sorry Spence- I don't know how to tell you this but... It's Cat Adams.", JJ said and Reid's heart skipped a beat. He hadn't heard that name in years. Last time he checked Cat was on death row, awaiting execution for her crimes. 

"What about her?", Reid asked, his voice suddenly faint.

"She escaped prison last night."

The day that Spencer's life got blown to pieces once more started out just the same as all the other days that came before it. That's the problem with catastrophes, sometimes they come with no warning signs and sometimes you just miss them. Sometimes your're too busy living your perfect life to notice the nuke that is heading towards you. 

Reid should've known that things were going a little too well for a little too long and just as he suspected, he just wasn't made for this kind of life.


	2. Madi Dears

"How did she get out? She's supposed to be on death row. ", Reid asked. They were all gathered in the BAU conference room. Max and Reid immediately called Ely and the school, canceling his classes for the day and as soon as they were ready they drove off to Quantico.

Emily and JJ were already waiting for them. JJ had taken over as unit chief after Emily became FBI director but for a case like this Emily came back. For her wife and for Reid.

Reid still worked for the BAU, just not full time, so he knew the current team pretty well. JJ, Luke, Matt and Tara had stayed with the team for all these years. Rossi finally went into retirement ten years ago but he still invited them over to his mansion a lot.

Penelope had found her dream job and never returned to the FBI but her most recent replacement, a young man who everyone called Poe, might give her a run for her money. He was the one that got most of the information that Emily was now explaining to him.

"The security footage shows that Cat was freed by two people we could identify and one unidentified third person drove the car they escaped on.", JJ explained before showing the security footage on the big screen. It showed a guard and two women escaping the prison together.

"We were able to identify a guard, Wallace Graham and a former cell mate of hers, Nadia Petrova. She was released from prison 5 years ago but the two stayed in contact. We're assuming that she manipulated Nadia to do her bidding like she has done in the past. We don't know how she got Graham to help them yet but he seemed to be nothing more than a tool to them and they disposed off him once he served his purpose.", Emily continued, pointing each of them out on the video.

"Disposed?",Max asked, raising an eyebrow just before the footage cut to a different angle outside the prison.

"They killed him before driving off with the third unidentified subject.", JJ said just in time for the video to show Nadia pull a gun on Graham and shoot him.

Reid saw Ely divert his eyes but the boy still flinched at the sound of the gun shot and Reid reach out to take his hand. He knew that Ely wasn't good with violence. They tried to shield him from all this as good as possible, from Reid's job, his past, but they couldn't shield him from this.

"Do you have any leads on them yet?", Max asked, after squeezing Ely's other hand as well. Reid could tell that she was putting up a brave front but she was terrified, too.

Last time Cat kidnapped Max' family and she tried to ruin Max' and Reid's relationship before it even started. God knows what her plan was now but whatever it was, it couldn't be good.

"Tracking the car turned out to be a dead end. There wasn't a lot of footage in the area and we lost them after the first 20 minutes. Right now we are investigating Nadia Petrova because she is the only one that is somewhat trackable. We're also following a lead when it comes to our third unsub.", Emily explained and the video switched to a picture of Nadia Petrova. A woman in her late 30s with long blond hair and brutally sharp features.

"A lead?", Reid asked. Ever since JJ called him his mind seemed to move in slow motion. His thoughts passed him by and he couldn't hold on to them. He hadn't thought about Cat in years. He thought that he was safe, that their game was finally over. He had locked everything about her, the restaurant where they first met, what she did to him in Mexico, what happened on the rollerskate date, away. He put it in a box in his mind and threw away the key.

Opening this box... Reid wasn't sure if he would be able to handle it. But he also didn't know if he'd be able to avoid it.

"Yeah, we have reason to believe that this is her. ", Emily nodded, before showing footage of two women, one of which was Nadia, the other was a taller woman with long curly brown hair, her face wasn't visible.

"Where is that footage from?", Reid asked, leaning forward in his seat.

"The prison where Cat was being held. She only ever had two visitors. Nadia Petrova and this woman who identified herself as Madi Dears. ", Emily explained. _Madi Dears._ The name didn't ring a bell for Reid but there was still something about it that immediately irked him.

"She's avoiding the cameras while Nadia isn't.", Reid pointed out. Nadia didn't make an effort to hide but there wasn't a single frame of footage showing Maxi's face.

"Yes. And she's hiding in more ways then one. The ID she used had to be a very good fake because there are no records of a Madi Dears anywhere.", JJ said before switching back to the picture of Nadia. "Right now we're focusing on Nadia. We send the team to her last known address, hoping that they'll find something there that'll help us predict their next steps but for now..."

"...you want us to stay here.", Reid finished her sentence. He knew how careful they were when one of them was the target of an unsub.

"Your family is the obvious target. We need to keep you save. ", Emily agreed, sounding apologetic. She knew that Reid would rather be out there right now, hunting for Cat himself. But Reid had a family now, he had a wife and a son that needed him. He couldn't dive head first into danger all the time anymore.

"I understand.", Reid nodded but then he felt Ely pull away from him.

"I don't. Who is Cat Adams? Why is she after our family?", Ely asked and he didn't seem frightened, just confused. For a moment Reid considered keeping up his ignorance. If he didn't know the extent of the danger that Cat Adams posed then he wouldn't live in fear. But Ely was 17 years old and Reid couldn't treat him like a child anymore so when Emily gave him a questioning look he just nodded for her to go on.

"Cat Adams is a hitwoman we dealt with a couple of times and she's obsessed with your father. He's the only man that ever outsmarted her.",Emily told Ely.

"Like an evil ex?", The boy smirked and it was obvious that he was just trying to lighten the mood but Max wasn't having it.

"Ely-", she sighed before covering her face with her hands.

"Sorry mom...", The boy mumbled, lowering his eyes

"It's just...", Max' breath hitched. " I can't believe that this bitch somehow made her way back into our life. ", She stated, dropping her hands back into her lap. She looked exhausted and Reid felt incredibly guilty. He had put her through all this once already. He never wanted to do that to her again.

"Hey, Max.", Reid asked quietly, getting up from his chair to crouch down in front of her, taking her hands into his. "It's gonna be okay, we'll figure it out and until then we'll be save here. She won't get to us. ", he promised, giving his best to conceal his own fear. But after 13 years of marriage she could see straight through Reid.

"You don't know that.", She whispered, shaking her head slightly.

"I do. So far she's never beat us and that won't change, okay?", he insisted and he forced himself to believe it because he had to. He needed to hold onto this so that Max could hold onto him.

"Okay.", Max nodded and Reid gave her a careful smile. Then Emily's phone rang.

"Excuse me, it's Alvez.", She excused herself before picking the phone up.

" Yes?", She asked and Reid watched her closely. Her eyebrows shot up in surprise. "And it's her? Bring her in then. Yes, and check if you can find anything else."

Once she hung up the phone her eyes immediately searched for Reid's. "What happened? Did they find her?", Reid asked, but he didn't really believe that it'd be that easy.

"No, but they found Madi Dears.", Emily replied.

~

20 minutes later the team was back and they were bringing in Madi Dears or whatever her name really was.

Reid only saw her for a split second as they led her past him and his family. She was tall and skinny, her hair was chestnut brown and stood up in messy curls. Her brown eyes were rimmed with black eyeliner that didn't conceal the dark circles under her eyes , her blood red lipstick was smudged and for a second she looked at Reid and a wide devilish smile appeared on her lips. She reminded him of Cat and that was frightening.

"So that's her...", Reid mumbled, more to himself than to anyone else but Emily who was standing right next to him heard him.

"Yeah, Madi Dears. They found her sitting in Nadia's apartment all by herself. ",she replied, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"Did she say anything yet?", Reid asked.

"Except for her fake name? No. Alvez said that she keeps repeating it every time they try to talk to her but she didn't resist the arrest."

Something about her seemed off to Reid. And everything about the situation seemed weird. It didn't make any sense to Reid. Why leave her behind?

"Cat must've done a number on her. Do you think that she's another ex-con?", he heard himself ask. He felt like he was missing something. Something big.

"I mean, it's the only thing that makes sense so far, where else could they have met? We'll run her fingerprints through the system and hope that something comes up, but...", Emily's voice trailed off but Reid knew exactly what she ment.

"...but something about this seems weird.", he finished for her.

"Yes...", Emily sighed before giving Reid a slightly distressed look. "She's so young. That's not just me, right? I mean, how old can she be? 19? 20?", She asked and Reid could tell that her motherly instincts were kicking in. Ever since Emily and JJ had gotten a daughter of their own Emily had gotten a lot softer when it came to young girls, seeing her own daughter in each of them.

"No. It's not just you. ", Reid mumbled.

"They'll start questioning her now, do you want to watch?",Emily asked and Reid immediately agreed. Something about this girl didn't sit right with him and he just had to figure it out.

The interrogation turned out more frustrating than expected. Both JJ and Luke tried their hand at it but Madi Dears seemed completely unimpressed. She just sat at her table, fiddling with her cuffs, watching the agents with a completely blank expression.

"She won't budge.", Reid mumbled, watching her through the one way mirror. The girl in the interrogation room had her head leaned back, staring at the ceiling, her leg was jiggling under the table but she didn't seem nervous, just bored.

"Yeah, Cat trained her well. ", JJ sighed. She just left the interrogation room and was clearly annoyed by the lack of answers.

"Look at her stance. She isn't bothered by anything. It's like she's bored.", Emily pointed out. Suddenly the girl leaned forward again before starting to unwind a ring she was wearing which was seemingly made of wire. She then quickly bend it into shape and started to use it to pick her locks.

"What is she doing now?", Emily asked, narrowing her eyes at her.

"She's picking the locks of her cuffs.", JJ stated, her tone alarmed. She was ready to burst back into the interrogation room but Reid held her back.

"No, wait- Wait a second.", He asked her, keeping his eyes trained on the girl. He watched her quick skilled fingers, the crease between her eyebrows as she focused, her lips moving silently. Until the lock finally clicked and the cuffs opened. There was an expression of triumph on her face, just for a second. It was the most genuine emotion she showed this entire time. And then she just locked them again and started the whole thing all over.

"She locked them again.",JJ stated, her tone equally surprised and confused.

"Yes, and now she's picking them again. Do you see her lips, she's counting.", Reid pointed out. "She's tracking how long it takes her. Like it's just a game."

Like the handcuffs were a mere toy to pass the time. Reid used to do the same thing, years ago, and that realization triggered something in him. It was dread but he couldn't place the reason yet. It was on the tip of his tongue but he couldn't say what it was, just that he was missing something.

"I'll go in now. ", Emily stated, passing Reid and JJ and making her way into the interrogation room.

"So, Madi Dears.", Emily greeted her, her tone serious. The girl looked up and stopped what she was doing, smiling at her.

"That's how the legendary Emily Prentiss is starting the questioning? By telling me my own name?", She asked her, sounding playful. But there was nothing genuine about her tone, her interest wasn't real, not like her triumph only minutes ago. It was an act.

"You've heard of me?", Emily asked, keeping her own tone even, not giving away anything.

"Of course I have. You're the first female FBI director. You're a feminist icon. And as you know, Cat is a big fan of girl power.", Madi grinned, she was mocking Emily and once again the similarities to Cat startled Reid.

"We know that your name is made up. So why don't you start by telling us your real one?",Emily suggested.

The grin on the girls face just widened before she leaned her head back until she was staring at the ceiling again. "I'll tell you the same thing I told blondie and the buff dude. You took my finger prints. You'll know my name soon enough. Come back when you have it all figured out. ", She then stated and right on queue Emily's phone went off.

"Is that the call?", the girl asked, looking at Emily again and when Emily chose to exit the interrogation room the girl just laughed at her.

"Prentiss here.", Emily greeted whoever was on the other side of the line but Reid had trouble focusing on anything but the girl. He was missing something and it was driving him nuts.

"What- are you kidding me?", Emily asked and Reid knew that he should be paying attention but he couldn't.

"Madi Dears...", He whispered. He never heard of her before this day but something about that name was familiar.

"Are you sure?", Emily asked but Reid barely noticed.

"Madi Dears... The name sounds weird.", Reid whispered, picking the name apart, trying to remember where he could've heard it before.

"Reid...", Emily called out but Reid was miles away.

"Madi Dears...", He mumbled, imagining the letters, rearranging them in his mind until they made new words.

"Reid, are you listening to me?", Emily asked but Reid most definitely wasn't listening because he had figured it out. Madi Dears, he rearranged the letters and got...

"An anagram. Madi Dears. Adams Reid. It's an anagram of our names, it's-", he stuttered, even though he wasn't even sure what that ment yet.

"Reid!", Emily called out and Reid snapped back to reality.

"What?", He asked and he only now noticed how distraught Emily looked. The dread was back and Reid knew what Emily would say before the words left her mouth.

"The results from her fingerprints came back. We have a match. For Maeve Adams. Cat Adams' daughter.", Emily replied and Reid felt himself fall apart.


	3. Lesser evil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: mentions of past sexual assault but it's not graphic at all

"How old is she?", Reid heard himself ask. They were back at the conference room. Reid felt numb and cold all over. He knew that Max was holding his hand, squeezing it, but he could barely feel it. He was staring at a mugshot of Maeve Adams. That's how they found her, she had a record. She was younger in the picture, still a child, no makeup, just angry eyes and a face covered in tear tracks.

"16. She was born on the 25th may 2017 and put into foster care.", JJ said but her voice sounded like she was far away. So it was her, it was the baby.

"Cat said she lost the baby.", Max said what Reid was thinking

"She lied.", Emily returned or maybe it was JJ, Reid was too far away.

"Maeve stayed with one family until she turned 5 and they got a kid of their own. After that she got send around a lot.", Poe started to explain, the young man pulled pictures and records up on the screen. Proof of Maeve's life, proof or Reid's failure. "According to her file she had a lot of behavioural issues growing up. Teachers and foster parents described her as good with peers and highly intelligent but her grades were subpar. One teacher noted that she thought that Maeve might be gifted but unchallanged, causing her boredom and disinterest in class. She also has trouble with authority. She ran away multiple times, got into fights with teachers and then at 14 she took a bat to a her foster-fathers car. After that she spend 3 months in juvie and once she got released she was supposed to get picked up by her social worker. Instead someone else must've gotten to her sooner because when her social worker showed up she was gone and nobody saw her ever since.", Poe finished. Reid couldn't talk, he couldn't think, all that he could do was stare at the pictures of Maeve, the one from her first arrest 2 years ago and the one from today. The girl in the first chapter looked bitter and angry, the girl in the second picture was smiling but she looked dead inside.

"That must've been Nadia.", Max said and Reid could feel her tightening the grip on his hand. He tried to return her squeeze but he wasn't sure if he was doing it.

"Yes, that's what I'm suspecting, too. That Nadia acted on Cat's orders and raised Maeve for the last two years, preparing her for this. ", Emily explained, she gave Reid a worried look, he didn't care.

"But what do they want with her? Why leave her behind?", JJ asked.

Reid looked at the more resent picture. Her hair was lighter than Cat's and darker than his, she was tall and lanky like him but her eyes and lips were Cat's. She looked like her, she looked like Reid, she looked like them-

"They don't care about her. She's just a tool to them. " Reid couldn't even tell who was speaking at this point, maybe it was even himself. All that he could do was think about was that Maeve was here and that he was 16 years late, maybe too late, maybe it was too late for her but he didn't want to believe that. If he believed that then Cat would win.

"I need to talk to her.", He stated, because he had to. That's all that he could do right now. Talk to Maeve.

"Reid-", Emily sighed but Reid wouldn't even let her object. He got off his chair, dropping Max' hand and pointing to the picture.

"Emily, let me talk to her. She's Cat's daughter and nobody understands Cat better than me. Maeve is a foster child. Nadia and Cat offered her a home and a family but they don't care about her. If we can convince her of that maybe we can pull her to our side. ", He explained and the expression on Emily's face was pained.

"Reid, what if she's-", her voice broke off but Reid knew what she was going to say. _What if she's your daughter._

"Exactly. Her name is an anagram for Adams Reid and you saw the way she looked at me when she got here. Cat wants to torture me, that's always what she wanted. She must've told Maeve that I'm her father-", Reid explained but suddenly he got cut off by Ely.

"You're her father?!", Ely shrieked and Reid looked to his son, unsure what to say, because he didn't know and even if he did, how was he supposed to explain how this happened, how this baby was not something he ever agreed to.

"We don't know that for sure.", Emily replied when Reid didn't.

"But it's possible?", Ely asked, his eyes focused on his father.

"It's a complicated story...", Reid whispered before rubbing at his eyes with the balls of his hands. _Complicated_. He could see that his son wasn't satisfied with that but he couldn't focus on that right now.

"My point is that we can use that. She's going to talk to me, I just know it. ", he insisted, looking to Emily again.

Emily stated at him for a moment, her expression defeated. "There is nothing I can say to stop you, is there?", She finally sighed. She knew that there wasn't.

~

When Reid entered the interrogation room he knew that everyone's eyes were on him, that his family was watching him, that his son would hear everything he said in here. But he had to forget about that, he had to focus on Maeve.

"Your name is Maeve Adams.", he stated, closing the door behind him. Maeve looked up at him and it felt like he was looking a Cat. A thought that send shivers down his spine but he couldn't let on how disturbing this all was to him, he couldn't crack in front of her.

"Look at you, you figured it out. Took you long enough, didn't it? So now that you know who I am they send you in.", she asked, a wide smile on her lips but she couldn't conceal the look in her eyes, no matter how much she grinned. Until now her boredom had been real, the mocking tone hadn't been an act. Now it was. Maeve was angry but she didn't want to show it, so instead she was emulating Cat's behaviour, her mannerisms, to put Reid on edge, to maintain control.

"You know who I am?", Reid asked even though he knew the answer. He could imagine that Cat had told Maeve all kinds of truths and lies about him, now he just had to figure out what exactly Maeve thought of him.

"Of course I do. Dear mom told me all about the brilliant Doctor Spencer Reid. She also told me where the inspiration for my name came from. Must be weird having a daughter named after your dead ex.", Maeve shrugged, she wasn't pulling any punches, that was for sure. She wanted to hurt Reid, so Cat probably told her things about him that would turn her against him.

"You think I'm your father.", Reid stated, it wasn't a question and it didn't surprise him that Cat had told Maeve this version of the story, looking at her he was inclined to believe that Cat hadn't lied all those years back, that Maeve was really his. Unfortunately that made everything a whole lot more complicated.

"I know you are. But that hardly matters. You're here to question me. I'm not gonna answer. This is a waste of time.", the girl shrugged, leaning back in her chair. Her body language was relaxed, disinterested, but her eyes watched Reid like a hawk, waiting on his next move.

Reid returned her staring for a moment before pulling out the chair across from her and taking a seat. "Maeve, I'm sure that your mother promised you all kinds of things but she's manipulating you. I know that she's your mom and that you might feel like you should love her-", Reid started but Maeve only rolled with her eyes before promptly cutting her off.

"I don't.", she stated. There was no mocking tone this time, it was just matter of fact.

"What?", Reid questioned.

"I don't love her.", the girl shrugged. "There is no point in loving a sociopath. They can't love you back.", she then added as if that was obvious. Reid wouldn't lie, he was surprised. He had assumed that Cat had manipulated Maeve in the same way she had done with her past accomplices, with the promise of love. Maeve didn't expect love, though. So what was in it for her?

"Then help us out, tell us how to find Cat.", Reid suggested, already knowing that it wouldn't be that easy.

"I don't know.", the girl shrugged again. She was smiling again, just a little but she was clearly satisfied, like she had hoped for that question.

"You don't know where she is?", Reid asked, watching Maeve closely to see if she had any tells that would betray her bluff but so far there were none.

"Nope.", the girl replied, popping the p. She seemed to be enjoying this a lot.

"They just left you behind without a plan to help you follow them?", Reid clarified because so far it didn't seem like Maeve was lying but what she was saying also made no sense to Reid. Didn't she realize that Nadia and Cat were only using her?

"Yup.", she replied just as enthusiastically.

"Why would you play along with that?", Reid asked, leaning forward in his seat, resting his elbows on the desk. Maeve mirrored his shift in position until their faces were only inches apart, their hands were almost brushing together. _Interesting_.

"Why not?", she asked and it was clear that she was challenging him. There was a spark in her eyes that was more familiar to Reid then he'd like to admit.

"They're using you as a distraction and as a scapegoat.", he stated, watching closely how Maeve would react to that. She didn't pull a face, didn't even bat an eyelash. Instead she smirked.

"Yeah, and it's working, isn't it? You don't believe that I know nothing so you'll continue to question me, over and over again and by the time that you finally accept that I'm useless they're long gone.", she explained and even if Maeve wasn't outright telling Reid anything, her statement was still useful because it told him something about the nature of the relationship between Cat and Maeve.

"You might not love her but you're loyal to Cat.", Reid stated. Because even though Maeve was aware that Cat would never love her, even though she knew that her mother had abandoned her to the FBI, she still stuck with Cat.

"You could put it that way.", Maeve shrugged, leaning back again, making a point to look relaxed. If someone had to make sure that they didn't look bothered, it usually ment that something was bothering them.

"Why, what is in it for you?", Reid asked and this time she didn't smile, he could feel her leg start to wobble under the table again, her expression was stone cold serious.

"She's the lesser evil.", she stated, her expression unreadable, her tone neutral.

"And what would be the bigger evil?", Reid asked, leaning even more towards her, holding her glare until she looked away. She was pulling away, cracking, this line of questioning wasn't as easy as the ones that came before so he had to hold onto that.

"Would I be the bigger evil...?", he asked and he didn't expect an answer, he just watched Maeve's micro expressions, her breathing, how she was chewing her cheek, how she drew her shoulders up instead of leaving them relaxed like before. "Or the foster system?"

Maeve glanced up at him and for a moment she held his gaze but then she caved again. He was onto something.

"She does not care about you, Maeve. No matter if you do what she says or not.", he stated.

"I know that but-", Maeve started before quickly cutting herself off, like she had said too much already. Well, it wasn't enough for Reid.

"But?", he asked and for a while Maeve sat there in silence, staring at her cuffed wrists, chewing on her lip. Then her expression suddenly turned darker, colder. She looked up at Reid through the mess of her curls, she glared at him

"At least she was there.", She spat and her anger might've been the most genuine thing about her.

"So that's what this is about. You're angry with me.", Reid asked, leaning back in his chair, giving her a little space.

"Are you surprised?", She asked, cocking her head to one side. Her voice was venomous. She was trying to hurt Reid and it was actually working. Because Reid felt bad, he felt awful. He deserved her anger. He himself had hated his father for decades for leaving. How could he fault Maeve for feeling the same, even if he didn't turn out to be her father, which Reid doubted, to her he was her father and in her eyes he had abandoned her. 

"I didn't know about you.", he stated.

"Liar.", Maeve snapped and now she was the one to lean in, to glare Reid down, her fury was her fuel and now she had turned the tables around.

"Okay. I did know but Cat said she lost the baby. I didn't know that she had lied.", Reid admitted, keeping his tone even and then he saw Maeve do the same thing he did only moments before. She was watching him, her eyes narrowed, analyzing his every move to catch him in a lie.

"Do you wish it hadn't been?", She then asked, less angry but still belligerent.

"What?", Reid asked, not sure what she ment by that.

"A lie. Do you wish I didn't exist?", The girl asked, a bitter, twisted smile pulling at her lips.

"No, I don't.", Reid replied immediately, without a second thought. And he knew that it was the truth. Sure, Maeve's existence made everything a hell of a lot more complicated but she was most likely his daughter and even if he never consented to her creation, he would've taken her in without thinking twice.

"Liar.", Maeve spat, her voice dripping with poison. The fury was back. Her anger at him stood in the way of her seeing the truth.

"I'm not.", He insisted, his tone calm and collected which only seemed to enrage her more.

"I don't believe you. ", She said and Reid knew that she was just being defensive at this point. That she couldn't detect a lie but she also couldn't accept the truth. That her father did not hate her and wished for her death like her mother had probably told her. Reid didn't fit into her reality so she rejected him.

"What happens next? ", She then asked and he thought that she was trying to sound bored but there was just the slightest edge of nervousnes that gave her away.

"I thought you already knew. ", Reid said, leaning back in. She was not backing away but neither was he. Two could play this game.

"I know that I won't give you what you want. I know that Nadia and Cat will disappear off the radar. But I don't know what will happen to me yet.", She explained and she was getting a better grip on her expressions again. Reid almost believed her devil-may-care attitude. Almost.

"Will you prosecute me? Put me back in juvie? Or will you just send me back into the foster system so that I can get carded from halfway house to halfway house until I age out of the system?", She asked, cocking her head to one side. This close to her Reid could see that he had been wrong, her eyes weren't as dark as Cat's. They were more light brown, like whiskey, like his eyes.

"I'm going to get a paternity test done.", He replied and Maeve smiled like he had given her what she wanted.

"To prove that I'm not yours so that you won't have to think about me?", She asked like she already knew the answer. She didn't.

"No, to prove that you are mine.", Reid replied honestly. He already knew the outcome. There was not a shadow of a doubt in his mind that Maeve was his.

"You don't even think I am yours. Cat told me that you didn't believe her. ", She spat, backing away. She was back to playing the defense, she hadn't expected this.

Reid leaned back, also backing off, for now. "I didn't. Until I saw you. You look like you could be my daughter.", He shrugged.

"Yeah but why would you want to prove that?", She asked and she made no effort to conceal how annoyed she was with him. He wasn't behaving in the way she had expected. _Good_.

"Because it'll make getting custody of you easier.", He replied honestly and he knew that he'd have an argument with Max as soon as he left this room but he wasn't lying. If she is was his daughter, Reid fully intended to take care of Maeve.

Maeve laughed at that, a rattling and empty sound. No 16-year-old's laugh was supposed to sound like that. "You expect me to believe that. That you want to take custody of me? I only exist because my psycho mother had someone rape you.", She spat and this time Reid couldn't prevent the flinch.

Reid didn't talk about Mexico, Reid didn't think about Mexico, Reid pretended that Mexico didn't happen and he definitely wasn't prepared for Maeve to know about it and confront him in this way.

"You know about that?", He asked and he hated how faint his voice had become. He still dreamt of Mexico. The dreams had become less over the years but every once in a while he'd still see Lindsey on top of him, pretending to be Maeve. He'd wake up in cold sweat.

"Yeah, Cat told me all the juicy details about my conception. About how she had her girlfriend drug you and jerk you off while pretending to be your dead ex. How she named me after a sexy fever dream of yours.", She explained, sounding disgusted but not with Reid but with herself.

It was difficult for Reid to focus on that though. All he could think about was Mexico and how his family was watching and listening, how his son heard _that_. And he knew that Maeve was just lashing out because she was hurt and wanted him to hurt, too. But God, it was hard to not break down.

"You shouldn't have had to hear that, I'm sorry.", Reid whispered, his voice raw and cracky and when he glanced up at Maeve she looked even more upset.

"Oh fuck off, stop pretending that you care. You fucking hate me.", She spat and it's like she wanted him to go off on her. Like she wanted him to prove her right. Reid wouldn't do that though.

"I don't. I feel bad that I wasn't there for you, that I couldn't protect you from her.", he admitted, struggling to get himself back under control.

Maeve watched him for a while, her expression unreadable until she suddenly cracked. Her face turned miserable, the look in her eyes was pained. "You're lying.", She whispered, shaking her head before pressing her lips together. Her hands were shaking, Reid could hear the metal of her cuffs clinking together.

Reid reached across the table, carefully and slowly enough for her to pull away. She didn't, she just started at his hands as he laid them on hers to stop her shaking.

"I'm not. And I'll prove it to you.", He said once she looked up at him again. Then he let go and got up from his chair, leaving the room for now. He needed a break, but he'd be back.


	4. Caffeine and nicotine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: short discussion of suicidal thoughts but nothing graphic

Reid walked right past his family, past his team, he walked as far away as his feet carried him and ended up in his office. He had taken it over after Rossi left. 

For a moment he just stood in the middle of the room, his heart was racing in his chest, his breathing came in gasps. He couldn't focus on anything, least of all how he was feeling. It was a mix of panic, rage and guilt and before he could get himself under control he already threw all his belongings off his desk. He kind of did that when he lost control, threw things around until they were as messy as his thoughts.

"Dad?", a faint voice came from the door and suddenly Reid was calm again. Or... Not exactly calm but under control, because he had to be. He couldn't loose it like this in front of Ely, his son deserved to feel safe and seeing Reid go crazy definitely wouldn't aid that.

"I'm sorry-", he sighed, turning around to face his son who was hovering in the door. Ely didn't look frightened, just concerned. Reid often had to remind himself that Ely was almost an adult, that he wasn't a meek little kid anymore.

"It's okay.", Ely shrugged, stepping inside and starting to pick up the office supplies Reid had thrown to the ground. Reid quickly crouched down to help him with that. 

"No it's not. I don't want you seeing me like this.", Reid admitted once they had put everything back to where it belonged. He let himself fall onto the small couch in his office and Ely soon joined him. 

Ely stayed silent for a while, seemingly debating if he should speak his mind. Once he broke the silence he didn't look at his father, glueing his eyes to the floor instead. "Is it true, the stuff she said about how she was conceived?"

Reid hated this, he hated being so vulnerable in front of his son. Sure, he knew that a certain level of vulnerability was healthy and necessary but this just wasn't something he wanted to talk about. Not with Ely, not with anyone.

"Yes. It's true.", He confessed. His mouth felt dry, the palms of his hands were damp so he dried them against the fabric of his pants.

"That's fucked up.", Ely stated before glancing up. He was worried, or at least Reid assumed that. It wasn't always easy to read Ely's emotions. He wasn't all that expressive when he didn't want to be.

"You could put it that way. ", Reid nodded. 

"You never told me about that.", Ely pointed out. It didn't sound like an accusation so Reid didn't take it as one.

"It's not really something that I wanted my son to know about me. Or anyone for that matter. ", He admitted and Ely nodded along. That seemed to make sense to him, they both had things they didn't like talking about.

"She's yours, isn't she?", Ely asked next and it sounded like he already knew the answer. He must've seen the same similarities that Reid had noticed. At this point he'd be beyond surprised if she didn't turn out to be his daughter.

"I think so.", He replied honestly and Ely's expression became completely unreadable. 

He glanced down at his hands where he was fiddling with a ring Reid had gotten him a couple of years back. "She looks a lot like you. ", he then mumbled, not looking up at Spencer.

"She also looks a lot like Cat. ", Reid said and it was true. Maeve reminded Reid so much of Cat that it terrified him. But then there were all the ways in which she wasn't like her that made him hope that Maeve could still be saved.

"What happens now? ", Ely asked, pulling Reid out of his thoughts.

"Paternity test and after that... I don't know. I want to see if she can still be saved. ", Reid said honestly. He didn't see a point in lying to his son. They were always honest with each other.

"So you want to take her in?", Max asked from the door and Reid almost flinched. He hadn't noticed her. How long had she been standing there and listening.

He looked to his wife and just as he had suspected she was not happy with his plans regarding Maeve. 

Her arms were crossed, her eyebrows were pulled together into a frown. Great.

"Max- I might be her father. If I am then she's my responsibility.", Reid sighed but he knew that this wouldn't suffice.

"She's not. You never consented to this. You didn't even partake in her creation. She's Cat's daughter, you don't owe her anything!", Max argued and Reid knew that she was just scared, that she just wanted to protect him and their family from getting pulled back into Cat's toxic games. But he couldn't give in.

"She didn't ask to be born, Max, especially not by someone like Cat. It's not her fault that she is who she is. ",Reid replied and he didn't bother to hide how guilty he felt, because if he had actually kept tabs on Cat's pregnancy instead of trying to forget everything about her, they might not be in this situation. Reid could've had the chance to raise Maeve right, to give her a better life. He didn't, though. And now they were here.

"So you want to bring her into our lives? You want to blindly trust that she hasn't been twisted by Cat already?", Max asked, her voice cracking slightly. She was scared and Reid couldn't fault her for that. Cat had hurt her, too and Max knew what the other women was capable of.

"Not blindly, no. I spoke to her Max, I saw what she's like, she's just angry and hurt but she isn't evil.", Reid stated and he genuinely believe that. Maeve was lashing out and trying to tick him off but that was just her getting defensive. Deep down she was scared, so she needed everyone else to be afraid of her to protect herself.

"I don't know what you saw but I saw someone who was picking all the right words to make you hurt as much as possible. Isn't that what Cat would do? Isn't that what she'd want?!", Max asked and Reid didn't know what to say, because technically she was right, but she was also biased. Then again, so was he. They all were and nothing about this situation was easy or clear.

"If she's my daughter I can't just abandon her, not again. I'm sorry.", He sighed, not attempting to hide how tired he was of all this.

"You're not.", Max spoke through gritted teeth before turning on her heels and storming off. Reid didn't follow her. After being with her for over a decade he knew that this was just Max' temper, that she just needed time to cool down. That following her wouldn't do either of them any good.

Still, he must've looked pretty miserable because Ely apparently felt the need to console him. "She doesn't mean it like that. She's just scared for you. Watching her say all those things to you, it was difficult.", the boy admitted and there was no doubt in Reid's mind that he was genuine.

"Yeah, I know. I just hope that she'll come around. ", he sighed before pulling himself to his feet. He turned around to look back at his son. He stood by what he said, he wanted to be there for Maeve, he wanted to help her, but he also couldn't help but worry about Ely.

Max and Reid had done their best to create a save and stable environment for him and over the years he slowly started to heal. Now Reid was afraid that taking in Maeve would throw a wrench in that. He wanted to help her but he also promised to make Ely his priority when he adopted him. 

"Would you hate me if I took Maeve in, if she does turn out to be my daughter?", he asked Ely, because for once, Reid honestly didn't know what to do. 

"I don't think I have a right to do that. ", Ely stated, a puzzled expression on his face.

"You do, you were my son first. ", Reid pointed out and Ely raised his eyebrows.

"Technically that's not true. ", The boy said and while he wasn't wrong Reid wasn't talking about whether he was Maeve's father first because she was his biological daughter and she was born before Reid met Ely. No, he was more concerned with the promises he made. He had promised to be a father for Ely first. He wouldn't just go back on that promise just because he might have a biological child now.

"I don't care. ", Reid stated, still expecting his son to answer the question.

Ely considered his next words for a while before answering:"I think... If she's yours you owe it to her to try. I just hope that it isn't too late for her, yet."

"Yes. Me too. ", Reid nodded along, a little relieved to hear that Ely wasn't completely opposed to the idea of expanding their family. "When did you become so wise anyways?", He then asked with a soft smile on his lips, trying to release some of the tension they were both carrying. 

Ely smirked at that and gave him a nonchalant shrug:"Oh, you know, it's the trauma."

~

"Who is in there with her?", Reid asked a couple hours later. He needed a while to calm down and when he returned a stranger was in the interrogation room with Maeve. 

"Her social worker. A guy named Christoph Richards. He was send over after we notified child protective services that we found her.", Emily replied but the look she gave Reid stated clearly that she'd rather ask Reid if he was okay. 

Reid didn't pay attention to that. Instead he focused on Richards, a man in his 40s, average built, his hair was greying at the sides but he was handsome. None of that explained the effect he seemed to have on Maeve.

"What did he say to her?", Reid asked and Emily gave him a puzzled look 

"What do you mean?"

"I mean what did he tell her to scare her so much? Look at her body language, it wasn't like this before.", Reid pointed out. It was kind of disturbing to see. Sure, Maeve had been defensive before, she had drawn back. But this was different. The girl inside the interrogation room right now wasn't the same that Reid had spoken to a couple of hours ago. She had pulled her legs to her chest, curling up and making herself as small as possible. Her face was hidden behind her knees, her shoulders were drawn up, she wasn't looking at Richards, she was staring at nothing, like she had completely checked out.

"She's terrified of him."

"He didn't say anything out of the ordinary. He asked her where she had been all this time and told her to cooperate with us.", Emily replied but Reid could see that she was noticing it, too. 

"I want him out of there.",Reid ordered. He wouldn't accuse Richards of anything that he couldn't prove but he also couldn't afford for Maeve to be intimidated into submission and that's what was happening right now. 

"Reid, he's her social worker.", Emily sighed but Reid wasn't satisfied with that.

"I know but he's scaring her and if I'm going to get her to help us I need her to trust us. She's not going to do that if her social worker is there to intimidate her. ", He argued and Emily looked from Reid to Richards and back to Reid.

"He didn't say anything to threaten her!", She then argued but Reid knew that that was hardly necessary if someone was already afraid of you. 

"Yes, because he didn't have to.", Reid mumbled under his breath and Emily gave him an exasperated look that he ignored. "Can you get him out of there?", He asked next.

"He's basically her guardian right now and she's a minor, I can't force him to leave.", Emily explained as if Reid didn't already know that. He wasn't talking about dragging Richards out and forbidding contact. He just needed a couple more minutes with Maeve by herself.

"Then don't, get him out for some bureaucratic reason. Tell him that he needs to fill out some forms concerning Maeve. I need to talk to her alone.", Reid pleaded with her. Emily gave him a long look before finally giving in.

"I'll see what I can do.", She said and Reid gave her a grateful smile. She then stepped inside the interrogation room and called Richards outside because "they needed some more information on Maeve."

Reid stepped inside the interrogation room as Richards left and their eyes met for a moment. There was something unsettling about the guy. 

Once the door was closed and it was just Reid and Maeve again the girl visibly relaxed. The blank expression on her face disappeared and she uncurled herself, sitting up straighter.

"What did Richards do to you?", She then asked, cocking her head to one side. 

"What do you mean?", Reid asked, shouldn't that be a question that he'd ask her?

"You looked pretty pissed at him just then, what did he do to you?", Maeve explained, pointing towards the door where Reid had passed the other man. 

"The better question is, what did he do to you?", Reid asked in return, stepping closer and resting his hands on the empty chair as he watched Maeve closely. 

"Nothing. ", She said, too quickly to sound believable and her eyes darted away. 

"Now you're lying. He's scaring you. ", Reid called her out on her bluff.

"I'm not fucking scared-", she snapped, back to being defensive but Reid wasn't easily impressed by her temperament. After all he was married to Max.

"Your body language gave you away, you were clearly relieved as soon as he left and before that you were far more tense and quiet then with me or any of my colleagues. You avoided eyecontact and curled into yourself. Right now you're relaxed again. ", He explained patiently. Maeve didn't immediately reply, she just watched him, narrowing her eyes. Then she laid back in her seat, making an effort to look unimpressed.

"Ah, right. Profiler. ", She commented, her tone sarcastic. "What do you want? ", She then asked.

"I brought a doctor, to get the test done. ", Reid replied. It's why he had been called back, they were ready for a paternity test.

"You're in a hurry.", Maeve smirked and Reid couldn't tell if she was opposed to taking the test or not. Did she want too know the truth or was she scared of it? Reid didn't even know how he felt about this.

"Sure am.", he shrugged.

Maeve was back to watching him silently, then she leaned towards the table, resting her arms on it and squinting her eyes at him. "What do I get if I do the test? What's in it for me?", She asked.

Reid had expected something like this and he was prepared for it. If her request was doable he'd agree to it.  
"What do you want?"

Maeve thought about it for a moment and Reid tried to anticipate what the girl would ask for. It wouldn't be something outlandish like getting set free, she was too intelligent to try that. 

"I want a coffee...", She eventually said. " With lots of sugar. And I want my cigarettes. When they arrested me they took away my pack, it was still half full, I want it back. ", She then added and that was easier than expected.

"We can do that. After the test. ", He agreed. Maeve didn't look convinced, though. "I promise.", He added. 

"Fine.", The girl sighed so Reid went back to the door to call the doctor in. 

The doctor then went on to take DNA samples from both of them and once he was done Reid stepped outside as well.   
"Get her what she asked for please.", he asked JJ who had brought the doctor over. She took care of it. 

10 minutes later Maeve had a pack of cigarettes in one had and a cup of coffee in the other. JJ had also brought a bunch of sugar packets that Maeve was now emptying into her coffee.

"That's a lot of sugar. ", Reid remarked. It only struck him because he took his coffee extremely sweet as well. 

"Yup. ", Maeve replied with a smile before spilling some of the sugar into her hand and licking it off. She then opened up the pack of cigarettes before frowning slightly.

"Where's my lighter?", She asked, looking up at Reid. JJ had taken it out and handed it to Reid because it could be used as a weapon. He pulled it out and switched it on, holding the open flame towards Maeve so that she could light her cigarette. The girl rolled with her eyes but didn't protest. Instead she put the cigarette between her lips and let Reid light it for her. The first time she exhaled the smoke, a smile spread on her lips.

Reid knew that he had no right to reprimand her for her habits but he couldn't hold himself back entirely. "7 minutes.", he stated and the girl raised her eyebrows.

"What?"

"Each cigarette takes 7 minutes off your life. ", Reid told her the same thing that he had told his mother to get her to stop smoking. Maeve watched him silently, taking a sip of her coffee and another drag of her cigarette. It almost felt like a staring contest.

"Convenient, isn't it? That I'm already slowly killing myself. You should've give me my pack back sooner, get rid of me a bit quicker. ", She then smirked and Reid knew that this was a test, that she was waiting for him to slip up, to reveal his true intentions.

"I don't wish for your death. ", He replied but it was obvious that Maeve wasn't satisfied with that reply.

"I don't buy that.", She commented before taking another drag of her smoke. Her face got obstructed by the smoke as she added:" I don't care about my life, why should you?"

Now it was Reid's turn to stare her down. Her expression was focused but open, like she was genuinely curious for his answer.

Reid chose not to answer her question. He knew that she wouldn't believe the truth and would only accept a cruel lie. Reid refused to be cruel. "You're not ready to die, even if you think you are. If you were you wouldn't have let us catch you. You would've either killed yourself or made sure that we didn't catch you alive. " That's what he said instead and he must've struck a chord because Maeve glanced away for a moment.

"Just because I'm not actively trying to kill myself doesn't mean that I actually care to stay alive. They're not the same thing.", She then stated and she sounded like she believed her own words which was frightening to Reid. He didn't yet know the extent of what Maeve's life had been leading up to this point but there was no doubt in his mind that she must've been through a lot. She didn't become this bitter and detached naturally. Someone had done this to her.

"I know. We'll work on that. ", He sighed and the surprised look on Maeve's face lasted only a split second before her guard was back up but Reid still caught it. 

"Sure.", She said, her tone sarcastic. "How long until the results come back?", she then asked, playing it nonchalant, like she didn't really care about them even though it was quite obvious that she did.

"A couple of hours, they're rushing the process per my request.", Reid replied and Maeve narrowed her eyes at him as she took another drag of her cigarette.

"And then? Are you gonna keep this whole I-care-about-you-spiel up?", She asked, she was challenging him again.

"Yes, because it's not a spiel. I do care. ", Reid replied and it was obvious from her expression that she didn't believe a word that was coming out of his mouth. Reid needed to make his intentions clear and even if she didn't believe him, he needed to make cooperating attractive to her. 

So he pulled the chair that he had previously only leaned on out and sat down across from her once more, signaling that things were serious. That they were talking business now. She seemed to notice his change in attitude, too because she leaned towards him, attentive. That was good, she was ready to listen.

"If the test comes back positive it's on you Maeve.", He started. "You have two options. Either you start cooperating, you tell us everything you remember and yes I know you said that you don't know their plan but even small things can help us so you'll agree to a cognitive questioning. If you do all that we'll get you a deal with the judge. You will be on probation but you won't have to go back to juvie. If you don't cooperate you'll be prosecuted by the judge for your involvement in Cat's escape and obstruction of justice and you'll go back to juvie. "

"Juvie isn't as bad as you make it out to be, you know? And either way I end up back in the system. Why should I care?", The girl asked. Of course she didn't even consider that Reid had been serious when he said that he was planning on taking custody of her.

"No.",Reid stated simply.

"No?", Maeve repeated, raising an eyebrow.

"No. If you are my daughter you won't end up back in foster care, no matter how you choose. The only difference is that if you cooperate you will leave this building and go home with me and my family. If you don't you'll leave it with Richards and he'll stay around you for as long as it takes you to get back out of Juvie. ", Reid replied and there was his bait. She was scared of Richards for whatever reason. She could argue it as much as she wanted but Reid knew what he had seen. "Does this sound more appealing to you now?", he asked and the expression on Maeve's face had turned stony. He had no idea what she was thinking.

"What do you want with me?", She then asked but her voice was much harsher than before. He had upset her.

"I told you-", Reid stated but she wouldn't let him finish.

"-some bullshit reason, yeah. Now I want the truth, though! Is it to hurt Cat? Do you want to flip me to tick her off? Or do you want to hurt me in the hopes of hurting her through that. Whichever it is, it won't work, she doesn't give a shit about me.", She snapped at him. Just like before she seemed unable to accept his intentions and behaviour so she twisted them to fit her worldview. 

"I'm not going to-",Reid tried again but Maeve cut him off once more.

"Hurt me? Are you sure?! Maybe it isn't even about hurting Cat? Maybe you just want revenge for what she did to you and since she isn't here you'll just punish the next best thing!", She suggested and Reid knew that at this point he could say almost anything, it wouldn't get her to believe in anything that didn't fit her messed up perseption of the world. He still had to try, though.

"Maeve I don't want to hurt you and I'm not going to. All I want is to take care-"

"Shut up!", She yelled at him and suddenly she was on her feet, kicking back her chair and for the first time it seemed like the handcuffs were actually restraining her. She lunged forward at him, furious and wild. "People don't care about someone like me! People don't give two fucks! All they do is use and abuse and drop you once there is nothing left of you, so WHAT DO YOU WANT?", She screamed at him but once she was done the fury seemed to drain out of her until the only thing left was exhaustion. She slumped back into her chair, her head lowered, her eyes glued to the floor. She had dropped her cigarette and her coffee was forgotten. 

"You're hurt.", Reid stated once he was sure that she had calmed down.

"I'm not.", Maeve spat but her heart wasn't in it, she didn't even lift her her head to look at him.

"Yes you are. Someone or maybe several people hurt you really badly and nobody ever helped so now you think that that's normal. ", Reid went on before leaning towards her, propping his elbows on the table to get closer to her her. "Let me tell you a secret. ",he then said and that got Maeve to at least look at him through the mess of curls that was hanging into her face. "It's not. People aren't supposed to tear you apart every chance they get, maybe they did, and I'm incredibly sorry for that. But not everyone is like that. I'm not like that.", He explained, trying to sound as honest and as genuine as he was. But he knew that even if Maeve wanted to believe him, she couldn't. She wasn't capable of that kind of hopefulness. So Reid came up with an alternative explanation.

"Besides, what would be a bigger revenge to Cat then taking care of her daughter in a way she never could. She thinks all men are the same. Heartless, cruel, brutal. She thinks that I'm like that, too. I'm not. And getting you to believe in me... She'd hate nothing more.", He explained and even though he knew that this was bullshit, that he didn't care about that, it was far more convincing to Maeve then anything else he had said. Motives like revenge, anger and selfishness made sense to her, kindness didn't. They'd have to work on that, too but first he needed her to cooperate with him.

"What if I'm not?", She suddenly asked and she sounded almost meek. Reid realized that she was scared of the answer to that question. "What if I'm not your daughter? You said that I have two options if the test comes back positive. What if it doesn't?"

"That's highly unlikely.", Reid replied but Maeve wasn't satisfied with it.

"But what if?", The girl insisted. This was good, this ment that she was actually considering his offer. But the question also ment that Reid had to confront the possibility that she wasn't his. That Maeve was just Cat's daughter. Would he still be willing to take her in if she wasn't his blood and his responsibility? 

"Then you still have those same two options. The only difference is that I'll be making sure that where ever you end up, you'll be save there.", He replied and he ment it. Because even if Maeve wasn't his, that didn't change the things that had happened to her. It didn't change that she was just a kid who wasn't to blame for who had born her.

Maeve watched him directly, her expression became unreadable. Reid had no idea if he had said the right thing or not.

"Thanks for the coffee and the smokes.", She eventually said, dropping the topic entirely and returning her attention to her beverage. 

"No problem. ", He returned. 


	5. Never the same

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: implied child abuse

They received the results the next morning. Reid and his family had stayed at the office because it was still too dangerous for them to leave. Max still wouldn't speak to Reid but he was trying to not take it personally. She just needed to work it out herself. 

When Emily called Reid into JJ's office the next morning he couldn't wait for the results of the test while simultaneously fearing them. Whatever was written in those papers, it would irreversibly change Reid's life.

Max and Ely stood by his side as he opened the envelope and read through the document. Then he froze. 

"What does it say?", Max asked, trying to get a peak at the document. 

Reid needed a second to get moving again. His brain seemed to have short circuited. "It... It's positive. Maeve is my daughter."

Max let out a little gasp and both Emily and JJ looked like they were pitying him but Ely looked straight at Reid, just giving him a reassuring nod. His son was okay, now Reid needed to make sure that his daughter would be, too. 

"Did you talk to the judge about the deal? Probation if she helps us?", Reid asked Emily as he put the document away. 

Emily seemed irritated by the sudden change of subject but she didn't question it. "Yes, if she cooperates then we have the go-ahead.", She explained. 

"Okay. I need to talk to child protective services. I want to take custody of her.", Reid started next but before Emily could even start to reply, Max stepped in.

"So we will just not talk about this?", She asked, her tone sharp.

"Can you give us a minute?", Reid asked, glancing to the rest of the team and they all left the conference room until it were only Reid and Max. Reid turned to face Max, leaning against the table so that he'd be on eye-level with Max.

"Max, I get it, you're upset that I want to take her in-", he started but Max wasn't feeling like making up right now.

"Oh, no you don't get it.", She snapped, shaking her head. "I'm not upset that you want to be there for your daughter. I'm upset because you're making life-altering decisions without discussing them with me first. ", She stated and while Reid did understand that he also didn't understand what she expected him to do. He couldn't just pretend like Maeve wasn't his child.

"What do you want me to do? Abandon her?", He asked and he knew that he was being defensive but he also didn't really care.

Max glared at him for a moment before diverting her eyes and letting out a long heavy sigh. "You feel guilty because you weren't there for her and you want to make up for it now and give her a second chance. I understand that, I really do.", She stated, her tone much softer. "You're a great father and you care and that's what I love about you. But you're also rushing into this without thinking clearly. What if she isn't as innocent as she seems-", she suggested and Reid was aware that Max was trying to be understanding and that she was only worried but she had lost Reid at that point.

"Max, she's a child!", Reid insisted. Sure, children could be sociopaths, too. They could be murderers. But Reid didn't believe that Maeve was evil, she was just hurt.

"I'm not saying that she is but just imagine! What if it is too late? What if you bring her into our home and something happens? Think about Ely, he's already been through so much. I just think we need to make sure that we can trust her.", Max argued and Reid's problem was that she was right. Max wasn't being unreasonable. Bringing Maeve home to Ely was something Reid worried about, too. But he didn't really see an alternative right now, he couldn't abandon her again.

"If I can't promise her a home she's not going to cooperate. They will send her back to juvie.",he explained. At this point Maeve felt like she didn't have anything to loose. Her situation wouldn't worsen, it would just go back to the way it had been before Cat came into her life. Reid needed to give her something to fight for, something she wouldn't want to loose.

"Yeah, for a few months-", Max said, rolling with her eyes and suddenly something in Reid broke. 

"Don't say that like it's nothing!", He snapped and Max immediately realized her mistake, taking a step back, her face apologetic.

Reid didn't talk much about his time in prison. Not to the people in his life, at least. He spoke to his therapist and at NA-meetings. Max only knew the bare essentials of what happened in the three months Reid spend locked up. Ely didn't know anything about it. He had no idea why Reid hated being in locked rooms even if he had the key. Why they left all the doors in their house open. Why he had a gun by his bed and a hidden one on his ankle when he was awake. Why Reid silently surveyed every space he was in for how he'd protect himself in case he was attacked. It was called hyper vigilance and he never quite got rid of it.

"Juvie isn't the same as prison.", Max mumbled, her tone gentle, almost like Reid was a spooked animal that she was trying to sooth. Reid hated this.

"How would you know? You've been to neither.", He asked, his tone sharp, like a warning. Like he was saying 'drop the topic, you won't like where it's going'. Max seemed to understand that this was a topic she had no authority on so she backed off. Mentally and physically.

"I'm sorry.", She whispered, taking a step back and lowering her eyes. Reid immediately felt bad. Max was just as worried and confused as he was and painting her as the bad guy wasn't fair to her.

"No, it's- I don't know-", he stuttered before dropping his face into his hands. "I don't know what the right thing is. I don't want to endanger Ely or you. But I also don't just want to drop her back into the system.", He admitted and he could feel her gentle hands on the back of his neck, grounding him.

"Don't do that.",Ely suddenly said and both Max and Reid jumped a little. Ely had a way with sneaking around. You'd never hear him coming. How long had he stood in the doorway?

"Ely? How long have you been standing there?", Max asked, putting up a brave face for their son but Ely didn't buy it.

"A while. Don't abandon her just because you're worried about me.", He stated. It wasn't a request, it was an order. He was absolutely determined.

"Ely, it's not as simple as that.", Reid sighed because as much as hated it, Max had a point, taking Maeve in was a huge risk.

"Yes, it fucking is.", Ely said, and he didn't snap or anything. Ely was very mild mannered in general. He didn't get angry. But he didn't need to raise his voice, it was still made of steel. "Look, I appreciate that you worry about me. I know I'm messed up and fragile-", he started to explain and Reid cringed.

"Don't say that.", He sighed but Ely only rolled with his eyes, not bothered by his own self-deprecation. 

"Whatever. My point is that I know what it's like to be her... To an extent. Getting handed over from family to family again and again- it fucking sucks. Everyone always disappoints you and when someone comes along who doesn't treat you like shit, you cling to them. I was lucky that dad was the person I clung to and not a sociopathic serial killer who's manipulating me. ", the boy explained patiently and Reid was once again floored by how kind and introspective his son was. You'd think that after all the pain he went through he'd be rougher around the edges, but no.

"Ely, you're not the same.", Max sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose with her fingers.

"Yeah because I got lucky and she didn't. I could've been her. ", He insisted. Ely looked from Max to Reid. The boy was desperate and Reid didn't quite get it. He didn't understand why Ely cared so much.

"This is something that neither of you can understand. So trust me when I tell you that you should take her in. You should try.", Ely finished and Reid could tell that for some reason this ment a lot to his son. It ment a lot to Reid, too. 

Reid glanced over to his wife, Max was still staring at Ely, her expression conflicted.

"Max, I'm sorry that I didn't discuss this with you beforehand.",Reid said and he was being genuine. He got so caught up in everything that he had to take care of and hadn't stopped to really talk this out with her.

"I know. I'm sorry that I flipped out on you.", Max agreed, looking to him as well. Reid reached out towards her, offering his hands, which she took. He pulled her a little closer.

"If I move forward with this, are you on board with it?", He asked her quietly and if she'd say 'no' he'd have to respect that.

Max seemed to think it over. She looked to Ely who was still standing in the doorway. He gave her a nod and when Max looked back at Reid he knew that she had made a decision.

"What the hell, okay, let's do it.", She said with a careful smile. Reid couldn't prevent the grin that was pulling at his lips and from the corner of his eye he could see that Ely looked relieved, too. "But! There will be a couple ground rules!", She insisted and Reid nodded along, still smiling.

"Yes, of course.", He agreed, pulling Max closer and closer.

"Okay. I love you, you know?", Max said, her smile widening as she wrapped her arms around his neck. 

He crossed the last few inches between them to press his lips against hers. "I love you, too.", He returned once their lips seperated.

"You're disgusting. Both of you.", Ely stated before fleeing the room, causing both of them to break out laughing.

~

"Good morning. Do you think you can get me out of here for another toilet break? I need to take a shit.", Maeve greeted Reid when he returned to the interrogation room. She looked like hell, or like someone that spend the last 20 hours in an interrogation room. Her hair was a mess, her make up was smudged all over the place and the circles under her eyes had become about 3 shades darker. She was still smiling, though. Reid didn't buy it. She was exhausted.

He dropped the envelope with the test results on the table. He had spend the last three hours getting everything ready so that he'd be allowed to take her home once they were done questioning her.

"What's this?", She asked, eyeing the envelope. Her smile was gone in an instant.

"The test results.", Reid replied, burying his hands in the pockets of his pants. 

Maeve glared at the letter like it was about to explode. "What do they say?", She asked, her voice suddenly faint and cracky. She wouldn't look Reid in the eyes. She was afraid, Reid realized. He wondered which outcome was more frightening to her.

"That I'm your father.", Reid replied, making a point to sound as neutral as possible, he felt anything else might overwhelm the girl.

Maeve glanced up at him, her eyes wide, before grabbing the letter and pulling it out of the envelope. She held the page so close to her face that Reid couldn't see it as she read the document.

When she finally put it down she looked terrified. "What does this mean?", She asked, her voice shaking a bit.

"That you'll get a deal. If you cooperate and tell us what you know, you'll get probation with no jail time.", Reid replied and Maeve diverted her eyes. She looked back down at the document in her hands, her fingers were shaking, her bottom lip was, too. 

"And I've already filed the paperwork to get custody of you.", Reid added and something that sounded suspiciously like a choked off sob escaped Maeve's mouth.

"You're serious?", She whimpered not looking at Reid. She sounded like she was just waiting for him to tell her that he had been kidding this whole time. That he didn't want her. That he didn't care.

Reid did care. That was his whole issue. He watched his daughter for a moment longer. Her entire body was trembling. Reid had done this, unknowingly, but still. That wasn't an excuse. He had failed her. He pulled his hands out of his pockets and sat down across from her. Carefully he reached out and pulled the letter out of her hands, putting it aside. Then he took her hands into his, they were cold and damp like his. 

"Yes. I mean, it'll take a while to get the paperwork through but we do have a fostering license and we're working with social services so that we can take you home as soon as you're released from custody. ", He explained and this time Maeve definitely sobbed out. She pulled her hands away to cover her face up. Her shoulders shook with every painful sob she so desperately tried to suppress. 

"You're lying. ", She gasped out before frantically rubbing her eyes until she looked like a racoon. At least the tears had stopped. When she looked at Reid again she seemed absolutely miserable, ruined and hurt. Reid couldn't imagine that she was faking this.

"I'm not, Maeve. I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you before. I wish I could turn back time but I can't. All I can do is be there for you now, which I fully intend to do. ", Reid insisted, leaning closer until his hand was only inches away from her. She didn't flinch away. "Will you help us?", Reid asked carefully. 

He watched Maeve think it over again and again. She chewed on her lip, fiddled with her handcuffs, avoided Reid's gaze. When she looked up at Reid again he saw the same naked fear in her eyes that he saw when he told her that the results were in. Fear of what would happen next.

"I'm scared-", she confessed and it looked like admitting to that caused her physical pain.

"I know. I know you are. But this is real, okay? I'm giving you a chance here, all you need to do is take it. ", Reid promised. He held his hand out as an offering, as a chance. A chance for a family, a life outside Cat's mind games.

Maeve watched him for a moment longer, never making a decision without carefully considering all possibilities. Then she raised one of her hands and put it up against Reid's. Their fingers slid together and intertwined. 

"Okay.", She nodded slightly, looking from their hands to Reid's face. "What do you want to know?"

~

JJ and Emily had joined them in the questioning room. They were sat at the table now, Reid watched from the door. 

Maeve had pulled her walls back up. She was cooperating now but her voice was toneless, her eyes distant. Emily had asked her how she had gotten involved with Cat and Nadia.

"Nadia picked me up when I was released from juvie. She pretended that she was a new Social Worker and I was fine with it because she wasn't Richards. But instead of bringing me to a new foster family or a group home she took me to her place and I figured that something was wrong.", Maeve explained and Reid made a mental note to figure out what the deal was with Richards and why Maeve seemed so scared of him.

"At her place she played me a video of Cat. I have no idea how they got a phone into prison, Graham probably did it- wait... Is Graham?", She suddenly stuttered, looking from Emily to JJ, a question mark on her face. 

"He's dead.", JJ stated and the expression on Maeve's face was definitely surprised but not necessarily pained. She just seemed shocked but not too devestated. 

"I heard a gunshot. I didn't know if- and they wouldn't tell me-", she stuttered, her eyes shooting around frantically. She hadn't known that they had killed him and apparently it wasn't fully hitting her yet. She shook her head a little like she was trying to focus before continuing.

"Anyways. Cat had recorded a message for me where she explained who she was and that I was supposed to stay with Nadia until she got out. ", She explained.

"And what did you do?", Emily asked and Maeve got a little absent smile on her face. "I climbed out the window and ran away. The situation seemed shady as fuck. I went to the local library and looked up Cat Adams. She left out a couple key details about the things she did in her message."

"Then how did you end up back with them? Did you go back?", JJ asked, her tone was much gentler than Emily's, she was normally better with kids but for some reason Maeve was responding better to Emily.

Her smile faded to nothing. "Nadia tracked me down, with Graham. They picked me up and threw me in their car. They weren't happy with me- I was bad- they punished me-", Maeve stammered and all of a sudden she didn't sound like she was even there anymore. Like her mind was hundreds of miles away. It send shivers down Reid's spine. What had they done to her? " The next three weeks, or was it four? I don't remember-", she went on, still not really there. "They kept me locked up in a room until they were sure I wouldn't run away again. I barely left the apartment the first few months. Nadia didn't really know what to do with me, she was just supposed to keep me around for Cat but she fucking hated my guts." Her voice was emotionless as she spoke about her own captivity, like she didn't care, like it wasn't real. Reid could feel his heart start to race. This whole time there had been underlying rage at how Maeve had been treated, now it was coming to the surface.

"The only times I ever got to leave were when she took me to meet Cat in prison, as Madi Dears.", Maeve shrugged and her eyes got a little more focused. They snapped to Reid, locking eyes with him, like the next thing she said concerned him especially.

"She chose the name. At first Cat told me a whole bunch of bullshit, that Reid raped her and that the FBI tried to cover it up by locking her away. Once she realised that I had done my own research she started playing a different game.", She explained and Reid was pretty sure that she was directly speaking to him now. But then her breath stuttered and suddenly she glued her eyes to the floor.

"She told me the truth, well, not the whole truth. She told me how I was conceived, what she did to Reid. She told me that he tried to kill her when he found out that she was pregnant and that he didn't want to have anything to do with me once I was born." Her voice got quieter as she spoke until she was practically whispering. She had lowered her head, hiding behind her mess of curls. It was painful to listen to her because Cat's lies weren't exactly lies. Reid had choked Cat and threatened to kill her, not because she was pregnant but he had known that she was. And he didn't want to have anything with Cat to the point where he hadn't checked up on her pregnancy.

"I believed that. After that I stopped trying to run away. I visited her and listened to her crazy rambling. She'd send me letters all the time." Another gasp for air. Maeve stayed silent for a few minutes as she tried to catch herself and calm her breathing. When she looked up again she seemed calm, neutral, empty. It was disturbing, like she made herself go away. 

"She'd tell me that she loves me, I knew she was lying and that Nadia and her are bad people, but...", She explained before her voice suddenly trailed off. 

"But?", Emily asked and Maeve's empty gaze moved towards her. 

"...but they weren't so bad to me.", She shrugged. Like locking her up and punishing her into submission was nothing. Reid wondered, not for the first time, what Maeve's life had to have been like before, to make Cat's abuse the better option.

"You just said that she locked you up and punished you.", JJ pointed out, her tone gentle, empathetic. Maeve didn't react well to that. She just rolled with her eyes.

"Yeah but that's whatever. If I stayed out of her way she'd leave me alone most of the time. ", The girl shrugged, nonchalant, careless.

Emily seemed to notice that this line of questioning was leading into a dead end so she changed the topic. "Tell us about the last few weeks, the time leading up to Cat's escape. Did you know that that was happening?"

"Yes, Cat has been planning this escape for god knows how long. Years. I don't know why she chose now to do it. All I knew was that Graham and Nadia would get her out, that I'd drive the getaway car. That we'd return to the apartment and that they'd leave me there as a distraction.", She explained mechanically before halting for a moment. She glanced at Reid and swallowed. Then she got a little more sincere again. "I don't know where they went, I really don't. Cat kept saying that they'd come back for me once they'd settled down but I don't really believe that they will.", She explained and she truly looked apologetic that she couldn't tell them more. But she also seemed anxious. Like she was afraid that this wasn't enough, that they wouldn't be satisfied with this and back out of their deal. 

"Okay, Reid said that you'd agree to a cognitive questioning. Is that right?", Emily asked and Maeve looked to Reid again, like she was trying to see what she was supposed to do. Reid gave her a slight nod and she mirrored him.

"Yeah, if it helps, why not?", She said, looking at the two women in front of her again.

"Do you want Reid to lead the questioning?", Emily asked. She must've noticed the looks they exchanged. To Reid's surprise Maeve nodded immediately.

Emily and JJ made way for him as he sat down in front of her again. 

"Are you ready?", He asked his daughter. Her mind was fully focused on him now, she wasn't trying to avoid him anymore.

"Yeah."


	6. Memories ache

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warning: panic attacks and implied child abuse

Maeve sat across from him, her eyes closed, her face focused. They had been trying the cognitive questioning for a while now but so far they hadn't come up with anything useful. Maeve just couldn't pull her walls down enough to let anything out. 

"Imagine you're back in your room. Nadia send you in there and told you to stay put. Are you there?", Reid asked, keeping his voice calm and even. They were somewhere in the last two weeks leading up to the prison break now, trying to find anything that could help them figure out where Cat and Nadia went to.

"Yes.", Maeve nodded slowly. 

"Is the door open?", Reid asked her next and Maeve's eyebrows pulled together slightly.

"Yeah. I didn't close it entirely.", she then replied. Good. That way she might've heard or seen something without even realising it.

"Are you looking through the crack?", Reid asked her but Maeve immediately shook her head.

"No. I'm not paying attention to what's outside.", She replied. While that might've been true, Reid knew that just because she wasn't actively listening that didn't mean that she didn't pick up anything.

"Where are you?", He asked her next, trying to ground her in the memory a little more.

"On the bed, I'm staring at the ceiling.", Maeve replied.

"Can you hear Nadia? Is she talking to someone? Is that why she send you away?", Reid tried again but Maeve was reluctant.

"I'm... I'm not listening... I don't know.", She said, shaking her head slightly. The expression on her face morphed into a frown.

"Try to focus on your surroundings. Even if you didn't pay attention to her you might've still heard her.", Reid insisted. 

Maeve pressed her lips together and started to rock in her chair ever so slightly. Then, after a long moment of silence she replied:"I- I think I can hear her."

"What is she saying? Is someone else in the room with her?", Reid asked. They might be onto something.

"No... She's alone... She's talking on the phone...", Maeve replied. She leaned forward in her seat until she could reach her face with her hands. She stated rubbing at her eyes, then her temples, trying to focus.

"What is she saying?", Reid asked and Maeve pulled a face, shaking her head again. She was struggling with something.

"The passports are a joke-", she suddenly whispered and her voice sounded far far away.

"What?"

"The passports are a joke,", Maeve repeated and now it was clear that she was quoting someone, probably Nadia. "She doesn't even look like me-", she added.

"What else?", Reid asked, trying to control himself. She had to focus on the memory, she had to stay in that place. It sounded like Nadia had gotten fake passports for Cat and herself. That ment that they might try to leave the country, or they might have gotten new identities to start over in the states. Either way it was something, it was a trail, but they definitely needed more.

"Cat won't like this- Blyat- No- you explain it to her-", Maeve went on, repeating one side of a conversation. She got quicker now, as if it got easier to recall her words but Reid also saw how with each passing second Maeve got more and more restless.

"I can't take care of everything- I'm already stuck with the child-", she continued before taking a stuttering breath. Before Reid could take the time to help her calm down she already continued to speak. "No, Sabine, we need new passports. No one is going to believe those-"

"Sabine? Did she say Sabine?", Reid cut in. They didn't know of anyone named Sabine. Until now he had assumed that Nadia was talking to Graham. This ment that they might have another accomplice 

"Yes.", Maeve nodded shakily.

"Did she say the rest of the name?", Reid asked urgently. This could help, this could be the lead that they were looking for this whole time.

"No- wait-", Maeve stammered, frowning and digging her fingers into her hair. She was clearly distressed. Something was wrong.

"What? What happens next-", Reid asked but he didn't even get to finish his question.

"She sees that the door is open. She's coming for me-", she whispered and she sounded terrified. They had to stop this, now.

"Maeve, stop.", Reid ordered but he couldn't seem to reach her anymore. The girl just got more and more agitated.

"She's angry- I was bad- I didn't close the door- I didn't do what she told me- I was bad-", she started to ramble, whipping her head around, pulling at her hair.

"Maeve, snap out of it.", Reid said, keeping his tone calm but still assertive even though his own heart was racing.

"She's in the room- she is- is grabbing me- I was b-bad- I n-need to be p-punished-" Maeve was starting to hyperventilate, her chest rising and falling rapidly. Her face was screwed up in pain.

"Maeve! Snap out of it! It's over!", Reid called out but Maeve seemed to be too far gone. She curled up in her chair as much as the handcuffs allowed, and started to rock, hiding behind her knees.

"I'm sorry- I'm s-orry- I didn't listen- I just forgot- I just- Please stop- please-", she whimpered and in a desperate attempt to pull her back, Reid reached across the table to take her hand. She yanked her hand away as if Reid's touch had burned her. "Don't touch me!", She screamed out before descending into terrified whimpering again. 

Reid pulled his hand back but still stayed close. No touching then, he'd remember that. 

"Maeve, it's me. It's Reid. You're at the FBI, you're safe here, nobody will hurt you-", he then started to explain, his tone calm again. Maeve glanced up at him but her eyes were unfocused.

"She's coming- I was bad-", she whispered before flinching slightly. She tensed up even more, if that was possible. It's like she was trying to hide away.

"Maeve, nobody is coming for you. You are okay. Everything is okay.", Reid went on, slow and steady. Maeve's eyes finally rested on him and even though they were still not entirely focused she seemed to register his voice.

"Breathe with me, okay? Breathe in, breathe out? Okay?", Reid asked of her and to his relief she followed his instructions. Her breathing was still shaky and she was still trembling but she did as she was told.

"Yes, you're doing it. In. Out. Just like that.", He nodded and he repeated it for as long as it took Maeve to get back to the present.

"I'm sorry-", she eventually whispered. Her eyes wouldn't meet Reid's. She was still a little shaken up but now she mostly seemed ashamed.

"You don't need to apologize, you didn't do anything wrong, I promise.", He tried to reassure her but Maeve only shook her head.

"I don't want to go back again- It hurts- too badly-", she then admitted and she almost sounded apologetic. She brushed her hair out of her face, it was greasy and riddled with knots. He had to get her a shower. 

"It's okay. You did great. I won't force you to go back, I promise.", Reid said and he was entirely genuine. Maeve had done enough, she had fulfilled her end of the deal. They were done here.

"But I didn't help you-", she whispered and a single tear escaped her eye, she quickly wiped it away, rubbing at her eyes furiously. She seemed so frustrated with herself, like she actually wanted to help.

"You did. You remembered that they got fake passports, probably to leave the country. And you remembered Sabine. Have you heard that name before?", Reid asked and Maeve shook her head.

"No... I don't think so- I don't- I can't do this again-", she pleaded, a tremor in her voice.

"It's okay, we'll take it over from here. You did great. ", Reid replied. As if he'd actually put her through that again. On the other hand, how was she supposed to know that? How was she supposed to know that Reid wouldn't hurt her intentionally.

"Yeah?", Maeve asked, she didn't sound convinced, though.

"Yes.", Reid nodded before glancing down at her handcuffs. "Give me your hands.", He then ordered.

Maeve gave him a weary look but she did as she was told, holding her hands towards him as much as the cuffs allowed. Reid pulled the keys out of his pocket and unlocked the cuffs. Even though he was well aware that Maeve wasn't really trapped by the cuffs, he still wanted to make a point to show her that he was trusting her to be free.

"Here. You fulfilled your part of the deal. Now it's time for me to fulfill mine.", He explained as Maeve pulled her hands to her chest, rubbing at her wrists unconsciously.

"You're really taking me with you?", She asked, her tone careful, unsure.

"Yes. I mean... There are a couple of things I need to take care of first but for now I'm taking you out of the interrogation room.", Reid nodded, getting up from his chair. Maeve mirrored him, getting up as well and following him to the door. But when he went to open the door she froze. He looked to her to see what was wrong and she was staring at the two-way mirror. 

"Is your family on the other side of that door?", She then asked, glancing over at Reid.

"No. You'll meet them soon, but not right now.", Reid replied. Emily had told him that they were bringing Max and Ely back home. They'd have agents guarding the house, ensuring their safety.

"Okay.", Maeve nodded, looking a fraction calmer.

"Let's get you out of here then."

~

Reid placed Maeve on his office couch and because she still looked absolutely miserable he got her a blanket, putting it over her shoulders.

Maeve watched him like a hawk the entire time and while she didn't say anything the gesture seemed to confuse her.

"JJ is going to get everything ready for you to get discharged. If you need anything just ask her. If you want you can sleep until I'm back. The couch is very comfortable.", Reid explained. 

Maeve glanced at the ground and pulled the blanket a little tighter around herself.

"Where are you going?", She then asked, her voice quiet, meek. She was so different to how she acted when they first brought her in. Reid wondered which was the real Maeve. Maybe someone in between.

"To Nadia's apartment. Do you want me to bring anything for you?", He replied honestly. 

"Can I have my clothes, maybe?", Maeve asked carefully, glancing up at him.

"I'll see what I can do. ", Reid promised before turning around and making his way back to the door. Once he reached it he hesitated for a moment. He turned back around, looking to his daughter. She looked so tiny all of a sudden. He had no idea how she ever reminded him of Cat.

"You should really try to sleep.", He told her and she gave him an expression that Reid couldn't read. Then he left.

Outside his office JJ was already waiting for him. "Did Max and Ely arrive safely at home?", He asked her as they walked down the hallway together. 

"Yes, Matt and three other agents are guarding them and we gave Max a panic button. ", JJ explained and Reid nodded along. He knew that his family was save with Matt, that him and the other agents would protect them. But he still couldn't help but to worry. With Cat still out there, anything could happen.

"They are save, Reid. ", JJ said, her voice gentle. She was always able to read him like a book.

"I hope so.", He sighed. He couldn't imagine what he'd do if something happened to them. "Is Luke still at Nadia's?", He asked next.

"Yes, I told him that you'd join him in a bit. ", JJ replied.

"Alright, thank you. "

~

Nadia's place was a tiny two room apartment, one bedroom, and a living room with a kitchen connected to it.

At first it didn't make a whole lot of sense to Reid. Where did they lock up Maeve? But then Luke showed Reid the closet and he understood. It wasn't a usual closet, someone had definitely made some changes to ensure that it was soundproof. There were locks on the outside of the door and it was larger than a regular closet, too. Just large enough for a small mattress on the ground and a small dresser across from it. Still, it couldn't be considered a room. 

"We found DNA evidence of all of them. Around the apartment. Hair, fingerprints... blood.",Luke explained and Reid froze. 

"Blood?", Reid asked, turning his back on the closet. The expression on Luke's face was apologetic. 

"Yeah, not a lot, but the forensic team found traces of Maeve's blood all over the apartment but most of it was inside this room.", he said and Reid felt his chest tighten. He needed a second to catch himself. He turned back around and let his eyes wander through the closet. It was dark and dusty, someone had left the drawers to the dresser open and taken all the contents out.

"Did you find anything else?", Reid asked, walking up to the dresser, checking if it was actually empty.

"No documents or anything else that could indicate where they went. But we did find the letters Maeve mentioned. The ones Cat wrote her.", Luke said but Reid was only half listening. There were scratches on the floor, they went in a curve and started where the dresser's legs were. 

"Has anyone read the letters yet?", He asked, crouching down to get a closer look at the scratches. They were pretty deep and uniform, as if someone had moved the dresser again and again. 

"Tara skimmed them for any obvious information but it's...", Luke's voice trailed off. 

"It's what?", Reid asked, glancing up at him.

Luke looked hesitant, like he wasn't sure if he should be telling Reid this. But eventually he decided to be honest with him. "The letters are a little disturbing, especially since you're personally involved. I'm not sure if you should be reading them."

"I want to read them, though.", Reid insisted and Luke looked annoyed but not surprised.

"Fine. We have them in the living room with her clothes, are you coming?", Luke asked but Reid wasn't done here yet. 

He grabbed a hold of the dresser and moved it aside the same way Maeve had done hundreds of times. Something had to be hidden behind it, why else move it?

That's when he saw them. The tally marks. Hundreds of them. Reid felt a terrible sense of déjà vu as he was reminded of his own tiny room with a lock on the door and tally marks on the wall. Reid reached out, tracing the lines with his fingers. It were so awfully many. Any doubt in his mind that Maeve hadn't chosen life with Nadia and Cat was erased by this room.

"Did she track the days she was locked in here?", Luke asked but Reid shook his head. 

"No, according to her those were only a couple weeks. There are 273 marks on here. ", Reid explained before letting his finger wander all the way down to the last three marks.

"That's when she gave up.", Reid said, more to himself then anyone else before getting up again. For a moment he just stood there, staring at the room that Maeve had called her home for two years. He felt sick. 

"Reid? You okay?", Luke asked and it took Reid a moment to register his voice. Was he okay? Reid didn't know the answer to that question. He didn't even properly understand it. How on earth was he supposed to be okay?

"I'm good.", He mumbled, forcing himself to get moving again. He put the dresser back in it's place and left the room. In the living room he surveyed Maeve's belongings. A couple of clothes, a stack of letters and a single old tattered notepad. 

Reid picked up the clothes that someone had already packed into a plastic bag. He'd need them for Maeve. Next he packed the letters, 19 of them. He'd read them later. The notepad was last. 

"What's this?", He heard himself ask. 

"A diary of sorts. No idea where she got the notepad from but we found it under the mattress. ", Luke explained as Reid paged through it. 

All the pages were covered in tiny messy writing that looked like gibberish on first glance.

"We couldn't make out what it's saying, though.", Luke added as Reid's eyes scanned the countless lines of writing. 

"Because she's writing in code. It's one she seems to have made up herself. I'll deceiver it later.", Reid replied before packing the notepad away as well. 

When he had everything he needed he looked around the room once more. He couldn't wait to get out of here and bring his family back home.

"I've got everything.", He said, grabbing his things and leaving.

~

When Reid returned to his office he found Maeve curled up into a ball on his couch, sleeping soundly. For a moment he just hovered in the door frame, watching her. Reid thought that he had seen her relaxed before but this was different. She looked so peaceful.

He wasn't sure what disturbed her sleep, maybe she just sensed that she wasn't alone anymore. Maeve stirred in her sleep and then he eyes opened, focusing on Reid.

"Hey- ", she yawned, slowly sitting up.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up.", Reid said but Maeve waved him off. Once she sat up straight she stretched and brushed through her hair with her hands.

"Is everything okay?", She then asked, her tone anxious and unsure, like she wasn't sure what he had seen at the apartment. While the things he had seen were beyond upsetting, none of it changed his opinion on her.

"Yes, I got your clothes from the apartment. We have a bathroom here, if you want to shower and change.", Reid replied, holding up the plastic bag in his hand. He had removed the letters and the notepad, packing it into his bag instead.

"Yeah, that'd be nice.", She nodded slowly. So Reid lead her to the office bathroom. He handed her the bag and showed her where the towels and shampoo were. Then he waited outside the bathroom until she came out. 

Maeve turned like an entirely different person. Without all the make-up she seemed much younger. Reid knew that she was 16 but she hadn't looked like it before. 

"Better?", he asked her, daring to smile a little. 

"Yeah.", The girl said and the corners of her mouth twitched into a tiny hesitant smile.

"Ready to go home?", He asked next and Maeve pulled a face, just for a moment, but then she looked up at him and nodded in agreement.

"Sure.", She said and they left the office side by side. 

The drive home was silent. Maeve was anxious, she was fiddling with her fingers, one of her legs was wobbling. Reid couldn't fault her for that, he was nervous, too. This was really happening, he was bringing her home with him.

When he parked his car in his driveway Maeve looked outside the window at the facade of his house. Reid and Max bought the colonial-style house when they adopted Ely to have more room. 

"Nice house. ", Maeve remarked as they got out of the car.

"Thank you.", Reid returned as they walked up to the front door. He greeted the two agents who were guarding the it. Before he could open the door Maeve froze. He turned around to see what was wrong and she seemed distressed.

"Your family is in there?", She asked and he voice was even but there was fear in her eyes.

"Yes they are.", Reid nodded.

Maeve chewed on her lip for a while, seemingly debating if sheshould speak her mind. Reid didn't rush her. Eventually she decided to speak up.

"They hate me, don't they." It wasn't phrased as a question. It sounded too matter-of-fact for that. That didn't mean that it was true.

"Maeve, they don't even know you.", Reid pointed out but Maeve only rolled with her eyes, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"Neither do you. ", She shot back and she wasn't exactly wrong. Reid barely knew Maeve. He knew enough to know that he had to help her, that she still could be helped. But he had still only known her for a little more than a day.

"All I'm saying is that I'm Cat's daughter. I don't know how much your family knows about her but... It doesn't make me all that likable.", She explained and while she was putting up a snappy front, Reid could tell that she was just nervous.

"They know who Cat is and what she did... To an extent. ", Reid replied and Maeve looked pretty miserable. "But you're not just her daughter, you're also mine. You're going to be fine. ", Reid insisted before laying his hand on the doorknob.

He gave Maeve another questioning look. The girl hesitated for a moment longer. Then she nodded. "Okay.", She mumbled and Reid opened the door to his home, leading them both inside.


	7. Coming home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: mentions of drug addiction, implied child abuse

"Max? Ely? We're home!", Reid called out as they entered the house. Max came out of the kitchen and Ely came down the stairs and then both of them froze at the sight of Maeve.

"Hey...", The girl said carefully, giving a nervous wave. He could see how tense every muscle in her body was.

"Maeve, let me formally introduce you to my wife, Max and my son Ely. ", Reid announced, trying to pull his family out of their shocked state.

Max was the first one to recover. She came up to the two of them, offering Maeve a smile and a handshake that Maeve accepted. "Hello Maeve, it's good to have you here. ", Max said and Maeve smirked at that.

"Are you sure about that?", She mumbled under her breath. Both Reid and Max exchanged a look, unsure what to reply to that. Luckily Ely was there to jump in to defuse the situation.

"That's my kinda humor, hey, it's Ely.", He said with a smile, pushing past his mother and holding up his fist until Maeve bumped hers against it.

"You came just in time for dinner. Come on in. ", Max went on, ushering them all to the dining room where she had already started to set the table.

Maeve stood by the table for a moment, looking a little lost. "Do you need help with anything? ", she then asked, looking to Max.

"No, it's alright, you can take a seat.", Max waved her off before going back to the kitchen. Reid followed her to the kitchen to help her get everything ready. Once they returned Ely and Maeve were sitting at the dinner table. Ely was pouring himself a juice and then he offered Maeve one as well. The girl needed a second to reply. She was kind of zoned out.

Max and Reid continued to hand out dinner. Max had made Mac n' Cheese since they didn't have the time to buy groceries, yet.

Once they were all seated they started to eat in silence. Reid noticed how Maeve watched them all closely, only starting to eat when they did. But once she started eating she wolfed it down like she was scared that they'd take it away.

Reid wondered if Nadia gave Maeve enough access to food. She was really meager but then again, so was he. Still, he'd rather have a doctor check her out in case she was malnourished.

Max was the first to break the silence. "So, Maeve, since you're going to be staying with us now, there is a couple of rules we should establish from the get go. Your probabtion comes with certain conditions. ", She explained.

Maeve froze before putting down her fork and swallowing the food she was currently chewing. "Yeah, I know. I gotta meet with a probation officer once a month, report each encounter with law enforcement, subject myself to random drug tests and a curfew, I know the drill.", She then rattled down. This was obviously all not new to her even though she hadn't been on probation before. Reid gave her a questioning look to which she replied:"I... got the probation talk two years ago when I was supposed to get released from juvie. I didn't actually experience it in practice, though, you know."

"Right.", Max nodded. " But we have two extra rules here. For starters, your court regulated curfew is at 8 but we expect you to come home immediately after school.", She explained what Reid and her had settled on.

"School?", Maeve asked, raising her eyebrows. Judging by her history, Reid could imagine that she wouldn't be thrilled about the prospects of going back to school.

"Yes. I'm assuming that you didn't go these last two years?", Max asked and to all of their surprise, Maeve smirked.

"No. Since I was mostly locked up in an apartment I did not receive a formal education. ", She replied sarcastically.

This was news to Max, she hadn't been present for that part of the questioning. He could see how it effected her but she caught herself before Maeve could notice. "Well, you gotta go back. It's part of the terms of your probation. ", She insisted.

Maeve pulled a face before glancing down at her plate. "Can't I just... Get a GED or something? I suck at school, I'm dumb as fuck. ", She stated and the saddest part was that she sounded absolutely convinced of it. Max gave Reid a questioning look so Reid decided to take over.

"Not according to your past teachers. ", He pointed out and the look Maeve gave him was beyond annoyed.

"But according to my grades, I am.", She snapped. They'd have to work on that, too.

"We're not compromising here. We'll enroll you in Ely's school, he can watch out for you and make sure you come home immediately afterwards. ", he explained and Ely, because he hated any sort of conflict, was quick to jump in and try to pour oil on troubled water.

"The school is great. They are on some new age shit, all about individuality and stuff. ", He explained, trying to make it more appealing.

Maeve gave him a slightly irritated look before returning her attention to Max and Reid."What's the other rule?", She asked and Max was the one to answer that.

"If you hear anything from Cat, if you think you see her, if she tries to contact you, you have to tell us immediately. This woman poses an incredible risk on all of our lives and taking you in is a big risk on our part. Don't make us regret it. You understand?", She explained, her tone serious and intense.

Maeve stared right back at her but she didn't smirk, didn't make a sarcastic remark. She just nodded along. "Yes. Thank you. "

After that Max gave her an encouraging smile. She then returned her attention to the dinner. "Now eat up. ", She ordered. They all picked up their forks and started eating again. The situation got a little less tense afterwards which was mostly due to Ely just chatting away. He talked about whatever was on his mind, the schoolwork he missed, the school drama that Sydney filled him in on, whatever he could think of.

Once they were finished Reid suggested for Ely to show Maeve around. "Ely, can you give Maeve a tour and show her her room?", He asked. They had a guestroom that they could give to Maeve.

"Sure. Follow me.", Ely announced, leading Maeve out of the dining room and up the stairs. " The guest room is yours now. It's kinda impersonal but we can fix that."

Once they were sure that the kids were out of earshot Max came up to Reid, wrapping her arms around him. "She seems shaken up. ", She pointed out, still looking to the door.

"Yeah, the questioning didn't go very well. ", Reid replied. He was glad to see that Max was starting to feel more sympathetic towards Maeve.

"You find any leads?", She asked, glancing up at him.

"Yes, actually. She remembered the name of another accomplice. It was really hard on her, though. ", Reid explained.

"You seem shaken up, too.", Max remarked, reaching up with one hand to stroke Reid's cheek. She could read him like an open book.

"I went to Nadia's apartment. I saw the place where they kept her. Nadia locked Maeve up in a soundproof closet for weeks. ", He replied and he could see the horror on Max' face.

"Fuck...", She breathed out, pressing her head against his chest, pulling him closer. Reid tightened his embrace, too and started to stroke a hand through her hair.

"Yes. It's pretty messed up.", He whispered. He couldn't yet tell how messed up, how much Maeve had been abused, how lasting the effects would be.

"I was planning to turn in early tonight. Are you going to join me?", Max asked, she seemed tired and a part of Reid wanted to join her. But he knew if he layed down right now he would just lay awake and stare at the ceiling for hours on end.

"Not yet. I have some letters to go through, an encrypted diary to decode and an NA meeting to visit. ", He replied, his tone apologetic. He hadn't been to a meeting in a while and after the two days he had... He needed it.

"Encrypted diary?", Maeve asked, not at all bothered by Reid mentioning the meetings.

It took Reid a long time to let Max in on his struggles with Dilaudid. She didn't judge him but she also didn't understand it fully. Not until his relapse in 2022. After his mother's death he just kind of lost it. But to his own suprise, Max didn't get scared off, she stayed and picked up the pieces after he shattered. She built him up again, supported him on every painful step to sobriety and now he was 11 years clean. Max had seen him at his very worst so Reid knew that she loved him, no matter what.

"Yeah, it's hers. She came up with her own code. ", Reid replied and he didn't attempt to hide the small spark of pride he felt at that.

"What do you think, is she a genius like you?", Maeve asked next, glancing up at Reid with a small grin on her lips.

"I definitely think she's intelligent, but it doesn't matter much, does it?", Reid asked, looking down at her.

"No it does not.", She returned before pressing a kiss to his lips. "One super computer per household is enough.", She then remarked and Reid couldn't help but to return her grin.

~

The letters were tough. Reid knew that they would be but knowing that a storm was coming didn't make it less devastating.

Maeve hadn't lied, most of it was crazed rambling, talking about the nature of men, how they were mere animals, incapable of love and how love itself was just a construct made up to keep women too distracted to rewolt.

That wasn't the part that was disturbing to Reid. He'd expect that sort of stuff from Cat.

The disturbing things were the the words that she directed towards Maeve.

_You're an abomination._

_You were only created out of hate and spite, so how can you expect anything else from the world._

_Nobody will ever treat you decently unless you force them, too. Why would they, anyways?_

_Only your mother could love you._

_You're stupid-_

_\- a waste of space -_

_\- a moron -_

_Spencie couldn't stand the thought of you-_

_What genius could ever accept a child, that's so dumb-_

_You're disgusting-_

_-revolting-_

_\- disappointing -_

_\- wrong -_

_-fucked up -_

And over and again:

_Nobody can ever love you, besides me._

_Only a mother can love someone like you._

_No one will ever love you like I do._

_No one will ever love you like I do._

_No one will ever love you like I do._

_No one would be capable of that. You're unlovable._

At some point Reid had to put the letters down, burying his face in his hands. He knew that he had read and seen things that were much worse than this but it just hit different when it was directed at something he knew, something he cared about.

Getting told those things over and over again was bad enough for an adult but what would it do to a 14 year-old girl? The answer to that was sleeping upstairs.

Reid put the letters aside for now. As far as he could tell there wasn't anything helpful in them, they were just a tool to manipulate Maeve. They had served their purpose.

Next he picked up the notepad. He did not actually intend to read it, not yet at least. But he was still curious about how Maeve had encrypted it.

He scanned the lines, trying to find anything noteworthy and there were two letters that appeared as single words. L's and F's and the two most common single letter words were 'I' and 'a' .

From there Reid tried to figure out if Maeve had just assigned every letter in the alphabet a different letter and switched those out. The next letter he looked for was 'E' because it was statistically most common so he found the most common letter used in her writing, 'S' , and switched them all out with E's and so on and so forth.

In the end he had figured out what each letter actually ment but it still wasn't exactly right. So then he looked at the actual ink left by the pen Maeve had used and noticed a page where she had far more ink at the bottom right corner than at the top left. Which ment that she started writing at the bottom and the pen ran out of ink once she reached the top of the page. After he took a closer look at the letters he found that they were all written in reverse.

Now, it didn't take him very long to figure that out because he was who he was but to think that Maeve had come up with that all by herself, it was still astounding to him.

During his decoding Reid had done his best to ignore the actual contents of the writing but he couldn't dispute that his interest was peaked. He wanted to know more about the girl that wrote this journal. What ment so much to her that she had to encrypt it like this?

He wouldn't read it, though. Not yet, not without her permission. He wanted to show her that people could be decent and kind so he had to lead by example.

So Reid packed the letters and the notepad back into his bag and checked his watch to find that he was already running late to his NA-meeting. He got up and rushed off. He'd solve the problem with the notepad later.

~

Reid returned at 1am. After the meeting he went out for coffee with Charlie, the kid he started sponsoring two months ago. He had sponsored other members in the past but none quite as young as Charlie. The boy was only 17, the same age as Ely. Reid couldn't help but to develope fatherly instincts for him. That was apparently a reoccurring issue for him.

When he snuck into the house and found the light on in the kitchen, he went to check if someone had left the lights on by accident. To his surprise he found Maeve sitting by the open kitchen window, having a smoke.

"Maeve?", He asked and the girl jumped as if he had yelled at her.

"Shit- sorry- fuck-", she cursed, quickly extinguishing her cigarette on the window sill before closing the window as if Reid hadn't seen her.

"Hey, calm down, I'm not mad. At least you smoked by a window. ", He quickly cut in. He wasn't a fan of her habit but he figured that he should take some time to build a bond with her before trying to get her to stop smoking.

"My window upstairs doesn't open for some reason.", The girl shrugged. She still looked weary, like she was waiting for Reid to suddenly flip out.

"It's just stuck. Remind me to repair it. ", Reid explained before walking up to the coffee machine and turning it on. "Why are you still awake?", He then asked her.

"I could ask you the same thing.", Maeve pointed out, avoiding his question.

"I'm an insomniac.", Reid replied honestly, hoping that that might get her to open up.

"So am I. ", She admitted. "Where were you?", She then asked. Reid made himself a cup of decaf and then another one for Maeve. He put an ungodly amount of sugar in both of them. Then he handed Maeve one cup which she accepted with a surprised look on her face.

"NA meeting.", Reid replied. Honesty had been the only thing getting him anywhere with Maeve so far.

"NA. Narcotics anonymous. ", She mumbled under her breath before taking a sip of her coffee. "You are a junkie?", She then asked and Reid pulled a face.

"I wouldn't put it like that, but, yes. ", He replied before taking a big gulp of his drink. Maeve really knew how to push his buttons, even when she wasn't trying to.

"How else would you put it?", She asked and she didn't even sound like she was challenging him. She sounded genuinely curious.

"I'd just say that I'm a drug addict but that I've been sober for 11 years.", Reid replied.

"You still go to meetings, though?", Maeve asked and again he felt like she was genuinely interested. This way Reid had less of a problem talking about it.

"Yes. Just because I haven't taken anything in over a decade, doesn't mean that I don't still crave it. The meetings help me to stay on track. ", He explained and Maeve nodded along before staring down into her coffee. She stayed silent for a while but Reid could practically hear the gears turning in her head.

"What are you addicted to? If you don't mind me asking.", Maeve eventually asked. She didn't look up at Reid, her tone was careful.

"It's okay. I'm pretty open about it these days.", Reid shrugged and it was enough for her to meet his eyes again. "It's Dilaudid. Drugstore Heroin."

Maeve's eyes went wide with shock at that and she had to put her cup down on the counter. "Shit- Cat said she had you drugged with heroin- is that- is that why you're-?", She asked and Reid was pleasantly surprised at how horrified she sounded at the prospect that her mother had caused his live long addiction.

"Oh- no, no. ", He quickly waved her off. "I had this problem way before Cat. Not to say that I enjoyed getting drugged by her but it's not something I hadn't done to myself before.", He explained and it seemed to calm Maeve down a little. She watched Reid for a moment longer, like she was trying to make sure that he wasn't upset. Then she grabbed her cup and headed towards the door.

"Okay, I'll get out of your hair now, you must be sick of seeing me all day-", she said, on her way out but Reid wasn't done with her, yet.

"First of all, no. Second, I actually wanted to ask you something, too, if you don't mind.", He announced. Maeve stopped in her tracks, turned on her heels and returned to his side. Reid took that as a yes, so he went to get his bag that he had dropped by the entrance and returned to the kitchen. Once he came back he pulled the stack of letters out, placing them on the kitchen isle between him and Maeve.

"You have the letters.", She stated, her voice controlled, neutral. Then he pulled out her notepad and placed it next to them "And my notepad.", She added, considerably less controlled and more upset.

"I didn't read it.", Reid quickly clarified and Maeve raised her eyebrows in disbelief.

"You expect me to believe that? The letters are evidence, aren't they?", She asked.

"Oh, no. I definitely read the letters.", Reid explained. "I'm talking about your notepad. You made it pretty clear that you don't want anyone reading it. What kind of code did you use for this?", He asked, even though he knew the answer to that.

"I wouldn't have encrypted it, if I wanted people to be able to read it.", Maeve stated, cocking her head to one side.

"Well, as far as I can tell you assigned each letter in the alphabet a different letter by switching them. A's for L's, B's for Q's and so on. You also write in reverse and don't abide to spelling and grammar rules.", He explained and Maeve looked obviously annoyed by that, crossing her arms over her chest, rolling with her eyes.

"Why ask when you already figured it out?", She asked, her tone snappy.

"I wanted to see if you would brag.", Reid replied with a shrug but Maeve only scoffed at that.

"Nothing to brag about. It's obviously not all that complex if you figured it out so easily.", She snapped. Reid was noticing that Maeve had a serious lack of confidence in her own intelligence. Reid wasn't surprised by that after reading her mother's letters.

"Can you write fluently like that?", Reid asked.

"Yes.", Maeve replied with a dismissive shrug, like that wasn't impressive at all. Especially for someone that had barely attended high school.

"That's definitely brag-worthy. Besides, a normal person wouldn't have figured it out as easily, or at all. Most would've put it off as gibberish. It's your luck that this is part of my job.", He explained, trying to make it clear that he was genuinely impressed.

"But you didn't read it?", Maeve asked, narrowing her eyes at him.

"No. But I'd like to. It's possible that there is more helpful details in there that you just don't register as important. It could help us. But I understand that this is a very personal matter which is why I'm asking you for permission.", Reid explained. He ment it. If Maeve told him that the notepad was off limits he'd respect it. He felt like there hadn't been many instances where Maeve had someone respect her privacy and personal boundaries. He wanted to prove to her that he would do that.

"Do I have a choice?", She sighed like she already knew that the answer to that was 'no'.

"Of course, if you say no and take this notepad up into your room, that's fine.", Reid said, pushing the notepad across the counter until it stopped at Maeve's hand.

She glanced down at it, straightening a crease in the worn out paper with the tips of her fingers.

"But I wouldn't be helpful." It wasn't a question, just a statement. And while it was technically true, that didn't make it right.

"It's not your job to be. ", Reid told her.

For a while Maeve didn't reply anything to that. She just looked down at her notepad, judging by the movement of her eyes she was skimming the top page. Eventually she took a shaky breath, glancing up at Reid. "I'm scared that you will use this against me.", She admitted and Reid could relate, he really did.

"I understand that...", He sighed, rubbing his hands over his face for a moment. He had an idea that might help with that but he himself wasn't much of a fan of it. Reid had already accepted that he had to trust Maeve in order to get her to trust him, that included opening up about things that were outside of his comfort zone. After all, that was the same thing he was asking of her.

"What... If we made a trade. I could give you something similar in return. That way you'd have the same amount of leverage.", He suggested and now Maeve looked interested.

"Like what?", She asked, squinting at him.

Reid gave her a sign to wait before leaving the kitchen and making his way over to his office. He headed for his file cabinet which he unlocked before reaching towards the bottom of it where he had hid a thin old notebook. He hadn't looked at that thing in years, he avoided thinking about it and he had never, ever let anyone read it. And now he'd hand it over to Maeve.

He returned to the kitchen and placed the notebook on the isle between the two of them.

"What is this?", Maeve asked, eyeing the notebook.

"My version of the notepad.", Reid replied, running his hands through his hair. He was definitely uncomfortable with this. Then again, Maeve probably felt the same. " I wrote it while I was in prison.", He added.

"When Cat framed you for murder. ", Maeve stated. It wasn't a question, she knew exactly what Cat had done to him. It was still unnerving to think about.

"Yes. I was... sort of loosing my mind back then and I never really talk about it. Ely doesn't even know that I've been to prison so I'd appreciate if you kept this to yourself. ", Reid asked of her and she nodded along while keeping her eyes on the book.

"Is it encrypted?", She then asked, glancing up at Reid, the slightest hint of a smile on her lips.

"No. I didn't go that far. ", Reid smirked and Maeve looked down at the book, the corners of her mouth twitching. Then she reached across the counter and pulled the notebook towards her before pushing her notepad back towards Reid.

"Okay, we have a deal. ", She said and Reid gave her a nod, picking up the notepad and letters and putting them away again.

Maeve quickly paged through the notebook and Reid pretended that it didn't make his skin crawl. "I think I'll go to bed now.", She then said, closing the book before emptying her cup and putting it into the dishwasher.

"Yes, that sounds like a good idea.", Reid nodded, putting his cup away, too.

Maeve was the first one to leave the kitchen before turning around and looking at Reid. "Goodnight, Reid.", She said and she sounded hesitant, like she was just trying it out.

"You can call me Spencer if you want. ", he offered and a tiny smile pulled at her lips.

"Goodnight, Spencer.", She said and Reid returned her smile.

"Goodnight, Maeve. "


	8. Irritating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: implied child abuse

The next morning Reid got up like he always did. His morning went by like every other morning. He ate breakfast with Ely, send him off to school, drank coffee in bed with Max and kissed her goodbye when she went to work. Except it wasn't the same. Because their house was surrounded by agents, because both Ely and Max carried panic buttons and were acompanied by agents, because once they were gone Reid knew that he still wasn't alone in his house. 

It turned out that Maeve was a late sleeper. It was almost noon when she came down the stairs, her eyes still sleepy, her hair dissheveled.

"Good morning, Maeve.", Reid smiled, raising his cup of coffee as a greeting. He was about to start reading the notepad but he was glad to have an excuse not to. After the letters the possibilities of what Maeve could've written in her private journal were dreadful to him. So he quickly packed it back into his bag.

Maeve jumped as if she hadn't noticed him, then she squinted her eyes as him, cocking her head to one side. "What time is it?", she asked, scratching her head. 

"Half past 11 am.", Reid replied as Maeve walked up to him and sat down at the breakfast isle as well. 

"Why didn't you wake me up?", she asked him, her voice still cracky from sleep. She was wearing one of her few sweaters but one of her sleeves had slipped up and she was scratching at her arm. Reid noticed several circular dots on the inside of her arm, scars, but she pulled her sleeve up so quickly that he didn't get a closer look.

"I thought you could use the rest. Breakfast?", he asked her, gesturing at the food that was still laid out before them. She just stared at it for a moment, then back at Reid and only then did she start to reach for it and fill the empty plate in front of her. The whole time she kept glancing back at Reid like she was making sure that he was okay with this.

Reid was pretty sure that Maeve didn't always have access to food, that food had been something restricted, maybe even some sort of reward. Thinking about it made him sick and he felt the urge to pile more and more food onto Maeve's plate. Instead of that he got up and made her a coffee,the way he knew she liked it, and placed it in front of her wordlessly. 

She gave him a surprised look but accepted th drink. "Thanks. Don't you have to work or something?", she then asked him. 

"I took a couple days off until you start school so that I can help you get settled.", Reid explained. 

"Okay. So what's the plan for today?", she asked before taking a bite out of a slice of bread. 

"First, you have a doctor's appointment.", Reid announced. He decided on it this morning. It was quite possible that her skinny frame was just her natural shape but based on her worrying behaviour around food he just wanted to make sure that he wasn't missing anything. 

"Why? I feel fine.", Maeve replied, pulling her eyebrows together into a frown before taking a sip of her coffee. 

"I just want to make sure that you actually are. You know, you look pretty malnourished.", Reid pointed out and Maeve raised her eyebrows before looking down at herself as if she was checking. Then she looked to Reid and a small grin pulled at her lips. 

"So do you.", she shot back, seeming amused. 

"I'm like this naturally.", Reid returned, rolling with his eyes.

"Well, so am I. I am your kid, you gave me the Heroin-Chic look!", Maeve exclaimed before immediately realizing what she said and slapping her hand over her mouth. "Not because of your- I didn't mean- sorry-",she rushed to explain and it was like she had flipped a switch and suddenly she was in defense mode, shoulders draw, hands raised in front of her, tone meek. She was scared, Reid realized. Scared of him, scared that he'd be mad, that he'd hurt her.

"I know, I know, it's all good.", Reid quickly waved her off, putting on a good natured smile to soothe her tension. "I still want to make sure that I'm not missing anything, okay?", He added, going back to their previous topic.

"Okay. ", Maeve shrugged, still a little shaken. 

Reid thought it might be best to just continue the conversation to show her that her words hadn't been a big deal. "After that you have a meeting with your probation officer- don't give me that look, you know it's necessary. And after that, I thought we could go to IKEA and get some things for your room. ", He suggested.

"Why? The room already comes with furniture.", She asked and she wasn't snappy or anything like that. She seemed genuinely confused.

"Yes, but so far it has only been a guest room. It's pretty impersonal. I wanted to get you some things to change that. ", Reid shrugged. It was all pretty obvious to him. Maeve wasn't just a random guest that would stay with them for a couple of weeks. He was in the process of taking custody of her. This was forever.

"Why?", She asked again, cocking her head to one side and narrowing her eyes at him.

"Because I want you to feel at home here.", Reid replied honestly.

Maeve glared at him for a moment before looking away. Her eyes shot around the room a little frantically and Reid could tell that something about that exchange was frustrating her. It was like she had trouble processing it. 

"Maeve, when something irritates you, you should say it. It would save me the time and effort it takes to pull it out of you. ", Reid pointed out, keeping his tone gentle and understanding. 

Maeve's glare returned back to him and now she looked pissed off. "Everything about you irritates me. You're simply irritating as fuck and I don't yet know what game you're playing but I'll figure it out eventually.", She warned, pointing at Reid. He wasn't necessarily surprised by her reaction. Reid knew that just because Maeve could sit here and talk to him, even reveal a few things about herself, that didn't mean that she trusted him, not by a long shot.

"I'm not playing a game but I understand that it'll take a while for you to believe that.", He returned which only seemed to agitate her even more. 

"You can't keep this I'm-so-understanding-thing up forever. At some point you're gonna slip up.", she hissed before chugging the rest of her coffee and getting off her chair, making her way out of the kitchen. 

"Where are you going?", Reid yelled after her while not making any attempts to follow.

"I'm gonna get dressed!", She yelled back before slamming the door. Reid flinched and stared at the closed door for a moment before getting up and opening it again. 

This was not new to Reid. He was already raising one teenager so these burst-outs didn't surprise him anymore. And even though Ely wasn't prone to explode, Emily's and JJ's daughter Sydney was, so he wasn't all that bothered by it. He figured that she just needed time to cool down so he let her have that.

They spend the rest of the morning as well as the ride to the doctor in silence. Maeve was brooding, a stormy expression permanently remaining on her face. 

When the doctor called her in and he asked her if she'd rather have him wait outside she just pushed past him so Reid took that as a yes. 

He had voiced his concerns to the doctor when he made an appointment so he wasn't surprised when Doctor Maynard came back out 20 minutes later to have a quick talk with him. 

"So, I made a general check up and Maeve seems to be perfectly healthy. As for your concerns about her weight, she is slightly underweight but that might just be genetic. She shows no signs of malnutrition but I'm still going to run some blood work to be sure that she's absolutely fine.", The woman explained patiently. 

"Why am I sensing a 'but' here?", Reid asked. Something about the doctor's tone was especially solemn.

"As I understand it, Maeve hasn't been with you for long?", The doctor asked. Ely was her patient, too. Their whole family went to her so she knew that Maeve was new.

"Yes, I am in the process of obtaining custody of her, why?", Reid asked. 

"How much do you know about her previous living situation and her medical history?", The doctor asked and the dread was back. 

"Not as much as I'd like to. It has only been two days and as you might've noticed, she's a little closed off. Why, what did you find?", Reid asked, pulling his eyebrows into a frown. 

"Well, according to her medical file there have been... Incidence in the past that might've been the products of domestic abuse. There's record of a spiral fracture when she was 10 and two cracked ribs at 12 and I also found.. circular burn marks, resembling cigarette burns on her arms. They're all healed and based on the scarring they're several years old but it's still something I think you should know.", The doctor explained, just confirming Reid's suspicions. If the injuries were several years old, that ment that Maeve had been abused way before Nadia came into contact with her. Depending on her experiences with the foster care system, staying with Nadia might've actually been the better option to her.

Reid got pulled out of his thoughts when Maeve stepped out onto the hallway herself. She looked uncomfortable, wrapping her arms around her torso. "Can we go?", She asked, not meeting his eyes. 

"Yes, come on.", Reid nodded before saying goodbye to the doctor and leading Maeve outside again. 

As they drove to their appointment with the probation officer Reid wondered how long the brooding silence would last. Maeve had turned away from him leaning her head against the window and staring out in silence. He had no idea what was going through her mind, her expression had become unreadable. 

Once they arrived, Reid parked the car but didn't get out immediately. Maeve looked at him, a puzzled expression on her face. 

"A word of warning-", Reid started and Maeve tensed up immediately. "-your social worker will be attending the meeting.", Reid explained but that didn't seem to calm her down in the slightest. 

"Look, I don't know what your issue with Richards is, you don't have to tell me if you don't want. I just wanted to give you the chance to... I don't know, mentally prepare yourself.", He explained. 

Maeve only narrowed her eyes at him before opening her door and slipping outside. "Thanks.", She spoke through gritted teeth. Then she slammed the door shut and Reid hurried after her. Maeve buried her hands in the pockets of her hoodie and kept her head low, a grim expression on her face. Reid wished that he knew what was going on, how to help her. 

The probation officer turned out to be a young woman going by Mrs Savi. She had a kind smile and a relaxing aura but Reid could tell that Maeve barely noticed. Her focus was on Richards.

The other man was charming, easy going, nothing about him seemed threatening on first glance. Still, Maeve watched him like he might lash out any second. 

The meeting started with Mrs Savi introducing herself and getting some basic information on Maeve. Reid found that either he or Richards answered most of her questions while Maeve just sat there in silence. 

Mrs Savi then went on to explain the conditions of Maeve's probation to her while Maeve nodded along absent mindedly. 

Reid thought that they might be able to get this meeting over without any major conflicts but then Mrs Savi asked Reid what school Maeve would be attending. 

"We're enrolling her in the DC academy of arts.", He explained which made Richards snort for some reason. Maeve diverted her eyes, glueing them to the desk. 

"What's so funny?", Reid asked, without missing a beat. Something was up here and he was determined to figure it out.

"Isn't that school quite pricey?", Richards asked and there was something condescending about his tone that Reid didn't like at all. Like Reid had made a silly uneducated mistake and now Richards was amused by the prospect of correcting him.

"Yes, and what about it?", Reid asked, keeping his tone calm but steely. Maeve tensed up beside him, raising her shoulders in defence.

"I'm just not sure if the tuition might be wasted on Maeve. I'm sure that you are aware of her... Academic shortcomings. And that school has a pretty high standard of education. ", Richards went on, sounding sickly sweet and understanding. Reid hated it.

"Which is why I want Maeve to attend it. I want to offer her as many opportunities as possible. ", Reid shot back before returning his attention to Mrs Savi. "Our other son Ely is already attending it and we thought that Maeve might benefit from already knowing someone at the school. It also has a very individualistic approach and an amazing staff. It helped Ely a lot and we hope that it'll do the same for Maeve. ", He explained to her and she seemed pleased with that but before she could reply anything to that Richards cut in again.

"But let's be realistic here, Maeve already missed out on two years of highschool and she was never academically gifted to begin with-", he argued and Reid was starting to loose his patience.

"Are you saying that just because Maeve has had trouble in school in the past she doesn't deserve access to the best education I can offer her? ", He asked, effectively cutting Richards off. 

The other man just gave him a smile that probably should've been polite but looked like he was mocking Reid. "I just don't want you to set your expectations too high.", He said and Reid was properly pissed off now.

"This has nothing to do with expectations! It's about giving my daughter the best chance possible because apparently no one has believed in her enough to do that!", Reid all but spat. Richards just kept on smiling like everything was fine and there was definitely something wrong with him.

"Okay...", Mrs Savi said, stretching the word to fill the uncomfortable silence. Her smile was nervous, Reid got the feeling that she might be new to this. Still, she didn't waver and continued to address Maeve directly. " The DC academy of arts is a great choice. Their value for creativity and individuality might be exactly what you need.", She said, her tone encouraging.

Maeve didn't look at her, she was staring at nothing, her expression closed off, her eyes empty. "I think I'm too stupid for it. ", She mumbled, sounding hollow and Richards had the audacity to look pleased. 

"Maeve, you're not stupid, why would you think that?", Reid sighed even though he had a couple ideas where she got that mindset from.

Maeve didn't reply anything to that, she just stared ahead, shaking her head slightly.

"Well, we'll see how you're doing in our next meeting.", Mrs Savi stated, trying to get the meeting back on track. She then went on to explain a couple more things before finally closing her folder and opening a drawer in the desk.

"Okay, we're mostly finished now. There is one more thing I need from you, though.", she explained as she looked through the drawer. When she found what she was looking for she looked up again and placed a little plastic cup with a lid in front of Maeve.

"Okay.", Maeve nodded, grabbing the cup and getting up, obviously desperate to leave the room.

"I'll show you where the bathroom is. Come on. ", Mrs Savi said, getting up as well and leaving the office with Maeve, leaving Reid and Richards by themselves.

"What exactly is your problem?", Reid asked as soon as he was sure that the others were out of earshot.

"What do you mean? I have no problem with you Dr Reid.", Richards shrugged, a gloating grin on his face. He was enjoying this. 

"Yes, but you obviously have one with my daughter. So what is it?", Reid asked, keeping his tone calm, not wanting to give Richards the satisfaction of knowing how put off he was.

"Oh, suddenly she's your daughter? You've known Maeve for what? 5 minutes? You don't know her like I do, you don't know what she's like.", Richards spat and while he was still smiling, Reid could see the hate in his eyes. What was wrong with this man?

"Maybe that's true but I know that she's still a child and that she does not deserve whatever intimidation tactics you're using on her-", Reid shot back but before he was able to finish the door opened again, cutting him off.

"And we're all done!", Mrs Savi announced, smiling at Maeve while Maeve stared into space. "We'll stay in contact but I will warn you that I might drop by for surprise visits. And remember, if anything happens you need to notify me immediately.", the woman went on while Maeve nodded along mechanically.

Once she was done, Maeve's eyes found Reid's. "Can we go?", The girl asked, her voice faint. 

"Sure.", Reid nodded, getting up from his chair and saying his good-byes to Mrs Savi. 

Then, as they were leaving the room, Richards spoke up one last time. "See you soon, Maeve.", he called after them and it didn't sound like a threat but it felt like one. Maeve froze for a moment, before picking up the pace and rushing outside.

Reid followed her wordlessly. When they reached the car he just unlocked it and they both got inside. Then they just sat there in silence for endless seconds. Maeve was staring straight ahead, she was shaking, she didn't seem to realize that Reid was staring at her.

"Maeve, what happened in there? ", Reid finally asked, breaking the silence. She chewed her lip but didn't react at all and Reid was sick of this. He hated not knowing something, especially when it was as important as this.

"Maeve, talk to me!", He demanded and suddenly her head snapped towards him and he expression shifted into a grimace.

"Why did you start arguing with him?!", She spat, her voice was a mix of panic and anger.

"Because he was being disrespectful to you.", Reid replied simply. Did she really expect him to just sit quietly while this grown adult was bullying her?

Maeve let out a hysteric laugh before running her hands through her hair, pulling at it. "Who cares if he's disrespectful?! I'm fucked now! He's going to be so mad at me..." Her voice trailed off at the end, her eyes shot around frantically. She was terrified.

"Maeve he's just your social worker, he has no power over you anymore.", Reid stated. They had to tolerate him until Reid had custody but he didn't pose a real threat anymore.

"For now! But once you decide that you're sick of me he'll be the person who's responsible for me!", Maeve snapped. Her breathing turned heavy, she started to rock in her seat. Maeve was quickly stirring towards an anxiety attack.

"Maeve. I'm not sending you back into the system.", Reid stated, trying to keep up his calm exterior.

"Of course you will!", Maeve yelled at him. "Once you catch Cat you won't need me anymore! Or maybe you'll even grow sick of be before that.", She added, her tone growing bitter.

Reid knew that he wouldn't change her outlook on life in a day, he knew that it would take time. But he'd be lying if he said that he didn't absolutely hate this. He hated how Maeve's mind just twisted everything into pain and he hated whoever had taught her to do that.

"Maeve, listen to me.", He demanded and he found that when he was assertive Maeve did what he said. She followed orders. Reid wasn't sure if that was a good thing. Probably not, but it was helpful right now. "This is not temporary. I'm in the process of obtaining custody of you. I'm basically adopting you, even though it's not really an adoption since you are my biological child-", Reid noticed that he was staring to ramble so he cut himself off. "The point is- This is forever. You're staying with us forever. And whatever happened with Richards, is never going to happen again. Okay?",he insisted and Maeve glared back at him, her bottom lip was trembling. 

The girl let out a heavy sigh, slumping in her seat and rubbing her hands over her face. "I hate you-", she then mumbled from behind her hands and while Reid would've understood if she did, she didn't sound like she believed her own words. She was just lashing out, pushing Reid away and putting up walls.

"That's okay.", Reid replied quietly, because he didn't want to make her feel invalidated. 

Maeve dropped her hands and gave him a strange look, her eyes were red and puffy but she narrowed them at him.

"I don't really hate you.", She then admitted with a shrug.

"I know.", Reid nodded and Maeve rolled with her eyes.

She looked outside, leaning her head against the window. "Kinda wish I did- I also kinda wish you'd be mad at me.", She whispered.

"Why?", Reid asked. She didn't reply for a while. Reid wasn't sure if she'd show any reaction at all but he also didn't want to rush her so he just waited.

"I don't know.", She eventually said. " Things would just make more sense if you were. I would know what to do. I know how to handle angry people. I don't know to handle whatever the fuck you're doing.", She explained, looking to Reid again. 

"You'll get used to it. ", Reid said and he desperately hoped that that was true. Maeve gave him a look that made him think that she felt the same.

"Would you rather go home now?",Reid asked her then. He felt like they had done enough for the day.

"Yeah, sure. ", She mumbled, leaning her head back against the window. So Reid started the car.

~

"Hey, dad.", Ely greeted them when they entered the house. He was sprawled out on the floor in the living room, doing homework. 

"Hey, is your mother home yet?", Reid asked. While his attention had been on Maeve today, he had still been worried for his wife and son.

"Yeah, she got off work early today.", Ely replied gesturing towards the kitchen. Then he smiled at Maeve. "Hey Maeve! How was day one?", He asked, his tone conversational.

Maeve gave him an irritated look before looking to Reid. "I'll go to the kitchen and ask if she needs help.", She announced before walking off. 

Ely watched her leave until she closed the kitchen door behind herself. Reid felt the urge to follow her and open the door again but resisted it.

"She hates me.", Ely then sighed, glancing towards his father. It wasn't even phrased as a question, it was a statement. Like he knew this for sure.

"No, she just had a rough day.", Reid replied, letting himself drop into the couch.

Ely seemed to consider his words for a moment but then he shook his head. "Nah, she definitely hates me.", He shrugged.

"Why would you think that?", Reid asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"Because if I were her, I'd hate me, too.", the boy replied simply. Ely must've been able to tell that this statement wasn't satisfactory to Reid because he didn't hesitate to explain himself.

"You know how it's pretty obvious that I'm adopted just because you and mom are white and I'm not?", He asked, putting his homework down. 

"Yes?"

"Well, since Maeve's your daughter I dare to assume that she's not thick so she probably figured out that we are not exactly related herself. Now, hypothetically, if I was still in foster care and my life was still a shit show and then I met my bio-parents and it turns out they adopted a different foster-kid instead of taking care of me?", Ely explained and Reid started to understand what he was saying. "I'd hate that lucky bastard. And in this scenario I'm the lucky bastard. ", Ely finished with a shrug.

"It's fine though, I'll win her over with my impeccable charm and wit.", He quickly added, a sarcastic tone to his voice. "You know, there is nothing more charming than a neurotic mess of a man.", He smirked and Reid couldn't help but to smile as well. 

It took a while for them to tune in to Ely's sense of humour. It was a little messed up because Ely was a little messed up. (His own words, not Reid's.) It was a little startling at first because Ely tended to joke about awful things that happened to him so it wasn't always clear if he was sharing something meaningful or if he was just joking. But by now Reid could pretty much always tell when Ely wanted to be taken seriously and when not.

"How do you think I got your mom to fall for me?", Reid returned and Ely let out a chuckle before picking himself up off the floor.

"Anyways, I will now insert myself into the situation in the kitchen in an attempt to get Maeve to like me. Wish me luck.", He announced before heading for the kitchen as well. 

Reid watched him leave and he couldn't help but think about how different Ely was when he first met him. He wouldn't meet Reid's eyes, wouldn't say a word. And here he was, smiling wide, cracking jokes, comfortable. Nothing in his life made Reid prouder than Ely and he really hoped that he could do the same for Maeve.


	9. Ice cream and cigarettes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this chapter is the fluffiest yet and I can't wait to hear your opinions on it! It's also the first MAEVE POV! So please tell me what you think!
> 
> Chapter Warnings: Talk about past child abuse

Maeve woke up drenched in cold sweat, her heart was racing, she felt breathless. She couldn't remember what she had dreamt. She never could. The images always blurred as soon as she opened her eyes, leaving her feeling confused and cold. 

It was worse here. Because the room was unfamiliar. It was larger, her bed was softer, the light that came in through the window was new. Maeve had to remind herself that she wasn't in the closet at Nadia's anymore, that she was staying with Reid, no, Spencer. She was staying with Spencer indefinitely. Somehow the though didn't help her to calm down at all. 

The girl sat up and got out of bed. Her pack of cigarettes that she kept on her nightstand was almost empty. She'd have to find a way to get new ones soon.

For now she just grabbed them and made her way to the window before remembering that it didn't open. Spencer had told her that she should remind him to fix it. Maeve was pretty sure that she wouldn't be doing that. She wasn't trying to be annoying on purpose.

For a moment she debated just going back to bed but she was still feeling shifty. Her hands were shaking and Maeve didn't feel solid. She knew that it didn't make sense but she felt physically unstable, like the wrong move would make her burst. And going back to sleep definitely felt like the wrong move.

So instead she just made her way outside and down the stairs to the kitchen. Spencer hadn't seemed to mind her smoking there last night. Over all he didn't seem to mind anything she was doing which was frightening. Maeve felt like it was a trap, like he was only waiting for her to get comfortable before pulling away the rug from underneath her feet. A small part of her brain told her that that was bullshit. That he was just being nice. Maeve had learned to ignore that voice years ago, it never got her anywhere.

When she entered the dark kitchen she was met with the pale light of the fridge. Once she stepped closer she realized that the blurry silhouette in front of the light was Ely. 

"Ely?", She asked quietly but the boy didn't react. He still had his back turned towards her, continuing to look through the fridge. 

"Ely.", Maeve repeated, stepping closer. The closer she got the more she could make out about him. He was dressed in pyjama bottoms and a shirt, his black curls were standing up in all directions and he was wearing big wireless headphones.

Maeve reached out to tap on his shoulder and the boy reacted by flinching violently before turning around and letting his headphones slip down to his shoulders. "Fuck, you scared the shit out of me!", He cursed and Maeve quickly pulled her hand back.

He pressed his hand to his chest as he was trying to catch his breath. "What are you doing here?", He then asked her and he didn't sound pissed or anything. Maeve wouldn't bet on it though. Just because someone seemed nice, didn't mean that they were.

"I could ask you then same thing.", Maeve returned. 

"2 am snack.", Ely replied simply, gesturing at the open fridge. "You?", He then asked. 

"2 am smoke.", Maeve replied, holding up the pack. "Do you mind?"

"Nah, just smoke out the window, please.", he replied before returning his attention to the fridge. "Want some ice cream?", He then asked as he took a tub of chocolate ice cream out of the freezer.

"Sure. ", Maeve replied, unsure of herself. She watched Ely take two spoons out of a drawer before going over to the kitchen window, opening it and sitting down on the kitchen counter in front of it

Maeve mirrored him, hoping that that was right. That's what she usually did when she wasn't sure what to do with herself, she just immitated what someone else was doing. So she sat down next to him even though it felt wrong to sit on kitchen furniture. 

Ely placed the tub between them and handed Maeve one of the spoons before digging his into the ice cream and sticking the spoon in his mouth. 

For a while Maeve just watched him. She did want to eat as well, she couldn't even remember the last time she ate ice cream, but she wasn't sure if she was allowed. 

"Why are you awake?", Ely then asked and he sounded pretty casual about it. Maeve didn't really know how to handle Ely. Foster sibling were always tricky, especially when they were adopted or biological, which Maeve assumed was the case, since Ely called Max and Spencer Mom and Dad. She knew that they valued his opinion more than hers and if she got on his bad side, he could cause a lot of trouble for her.

"I don't sleep a lot.", She replied with a shrug, hoping that that was vague enough.

"Ahh, nightmares? ", Ely asked, glancing over at her and Maeve stared right back, not saying anything. "I get them, too. ", The boy then added before getting another spoon of ice-cream. 

Maeve didn't know what to say to that. She didn't really trust him to be genuine, even if he seemed to be. Instead of answering she put her spoon down and opened her cigarette pack. She had two smokes left and since Ely had offered her his snacks, she felt obligated to offer him something in return. 

"You want one?", She asked, holding the open pack towards him.

"Nah, I kinda hate them.", The boy shrugged.

"Ahh, did Spencer give you the whole 6 minutes talk?", Maeve asked before putting one of the cigarettes between her lips.

"He didn't have to. They remind me of this one foster brother who used to burn me with his cigs.", Ely explained and Maeve froze. It wasn't the contents of what he said that startled her. It was how casually he said it, nonchalant, like he just told her about his zodiac sign. Ely seemed to notice how odd that was himself because he quickly explained himself. "Uhm... That was a weird thing to say, wasn't it? I tend to not notice when I overshare, sorry.", He stammered, nervously rubbing the back of his neck.

"No, no. It's fine. Honestly...", Maeve quickly waved him off, catching herself. But Ely still looked a little anxious so she pushed her sleeves up to reveal the burn marks that a former foster dad had left on her skin. "I'm not weirded out. ", She stated before pulling her sleeves back down and putting away the unlit cigarette again. She didn't want to smoke in front of him if it might stress him out.

"So you grew up in foster care, too?", She then asked. Until now she had operated under the assumption that Spencer might've adopted Ely as a baby. Apparently not.

"Yeah, until I was 10. That's when mom and dad adopted me. ", Ely replied, relaxing again. He was smiling, as if he was thinking of a fond memory. Maeve wondered what it was like to grow up with Spencer and Max as her parents. Who'd she be if she weren't Cat's daughter? Who was this other Maeve? Was she happier? Was she a better person? Would Maeve like her?

"And how did you meet them?", She asked next because Ely didn't seem put off by the previous question.

"Uhh...",Ely breathed out before chuckling nervously. "Dad was working a case. My foster mom got... Murdered? And I was the only witness. ", he then replied and Maeve's eyebrows shot up.

"Shit!", She gasped out and Ely nodded along.

"Yeah. It was pretty gnarly.",he agreed and once again Maeve was surprised by how simple it seemed for him to talk about it. Did he not care or was he just so trusting that he didn't fear anything? 

"Is that what your nightmares are about?", Maeve asked. She didn't know where her own dreams came from but she could imagine that watching a murder might disrupt your sleep schedule.

"Sometimes.", Ely admitted with a shrug before digging his spoon back into the tub of ice and getting a big bite. As he ate it his eyes rested on Maeve's unused spoon and he looked back at her with raised eyebrows.

"Do you not have an appetite?", He asked her once he had swallowed the ice-cream.

Maeve glanced down at the food, it was tempting but she didn't want to get in trouble over something so stupid.

"You can eat it, you know? ", Ely added, getting another spoon.

"I usually wait until I figured out the rhythm at which food gets eaten before I take stuff so that they won't noticed that anything is missing. ", She explained and Ely froze, staring at her with raised eyebrows. 

Maeve felt like she had said something wrong and was trying to understand what it was when Ely started to speak again:"You don't need to do that. You can eat whatever whenever you want."

Maeve stared back at him and of course she understood what he was saying but she also didn't. She was a guest here, a guest that was forced upon them. She couldn't just help herself to whatever she wanted, that'd be rude. Maeve only stole food when she was certain that there was the possibility that she wouldn't get any for a while. So far that hadn't been the case here. Starting to steal food now might result in punishment and it wasn't necessary but Ely was offering it to her, so maybe it was okay. After all, he was eating it too. Then again, she couldn't expect the same rules to apply to both of them. Ely was their son and Maeve... Maeve was the mistake.

Ely seemed to notice her inner conflict because his expression softened and he picked up Maeve's discarded spoon and held it out to her. "Okay... If they ask, which they totally won't, I'll just say that I ate it. They're used to me stealing snacks all the time. ", He promised and Maeve was baffled.

"Why?", She asked as she accepted the spoon back from him.

"Why, what?", He asked, raising one of his dark bushy eyebrows.

"Why do you want to help? Why are you being nice?", Maeve clarified. In her experience, adoptive or biological children could be pretty territorial, especially when they weren't used to having other kids around.

"Why not?", Ely asked back with a shrug and Maeve rolled with her eyes.

"That's not an answer.", She pointed out.

"Okay. It's pretty obvious.", Ely gave in. " You and I are gonna be siblings now, so we better get along, right?", He explained and Maeve couldn't hold back her scoff.

"We're never gonna be siblings.", Maeve said, shaking her head. 

Ely's eyebrows pulled together into a frown and it was weird to see him upset. He had been smiling pretty much the whole time that Maeve knew him. "Oh, okay. I see. You're the real child and I'm just adopted so I don't count.", He then stated, his voice turning flippant and Maeve was surprised by how wrong he had interpreted that.

"What- no, that's not what I ment at all.", She rushed to explain. So much for not turning the foster sibling against you. "Of course you're their child. This is your home, they are your parents. I'm just... I don't know... an anomaly... a parasite. I'm not going to stay here. ", Maeve explained and the frown melted off of Ely's face. At least he seemed to believe her.

"You're being ridiculous. ", He then said and Maeve couldn't exactly place the tone of his voice. It sounded like a mix of amusement and exasperation. 

"I'm not. ", Maeve shot back. She knew that Spencer was trying to get her to believe that this wasn't temporary, that he'd actually keep her. Maybe he even believed it himself. But Maeve knew the truth, that sooner or later she'd fuck up and that this would be over.

"Look, I get it. ", Ely started to say and weirdly enough, Maeve felt like he actually did. "You're waiting for the other shoe to drop, you don't want to settle because when you did in the past it never ended well. I get it, okay? I can't remember my first few months with them very well but I didn't think that they'd keep me either. But if they can keep a random kid that won't even speak or look at them around, then they won't give up on you, either."

"I don't believe you.", Maeve stated calmly, because she didn't. The small voice in the back of her head wanted to believe, but Maeve didn't trust that bitch.

"I know. I wouldn't believe me either.", Ely shrugged, apparently Maeve couldn't surprise him with anything. "You'll see it though. Time will prove me right. Dad has a habit of taking in strays. He's a fixer and a protector, so that's what he'll do. ", He went on to explain and Maeve had noticed that as well. The only problem was that it left her with more fears than if Reid had just been a dick.

"What if I can't be fixed?", She mumbled, more to her than Ely but of course he heard her.

"You can't. Not by anyone but yourself. People can't fix people. Doesn't mean that they shouldn't try. ", Ely shrugged and Maeve looked up at him, pulling her eyebrows into a confused frown. What the hell was that supposed to mean? Ely didn't look at her, he was preoccupied with his ice. 

"You're weird.", Maeve then stated and the boy chuckled at that.

"Why?", He asked with s grin on his lips." I mean, I know but what part is sticking out to you?", He added, glancing up at Maeve.

"You don't talk like a... How old are you?", Maeve asked.

"17.", Ely replied. A year older than Maeve.

"Yeah, you don't sound like a 17 year-old.", Maeve finished and again, Ely laughed at that, not insulted in the slightest. Not that Maeve wanted to insult him, not at all. That didn't mean that she wasn't worried for his reaction. Calling someone 'weird' was rarely received as a compliment.

"Thanks. My teachers say that I have an old soul which is adult-slang for 'your kid is weird and doesn't know how to talk to peers'.", He joked before giving Maeve a sharp look. "But don't tell dad, that.", He warned. "Now eat the fucking ice cream.", He ordered and this time Maeve did as she was told.

It was delicious and after the first spoon she couldn't stop herself from shoveling more and more into her mouth. For a while they just sat there in silence, eating in unison, the only noise was the humming of the fridge and the rustling of the trees outside the window.

"The school you go to... What's it like?", Maeve asked eventually. Max mentioned that she'd start school on Monday and she was beyond stressed.

"Well, for starters it's a performing arts school so it isn't like a typical school. I'd be way more of an outcast in a regular high school and I think mom and dad were aware of that.", Ely laughed. He had a nice laugh, warm and full.

"I'm not an artist.", Maeve pointed out. Sure, she liked to doodle stuff but that was about it.

"Not everyone there is. You do have to take artistic classes but it's more of a bonus and since you aren't there on a scholarship it matters less.", Ely explained and Maeve nodded along. It didn't calm her down exactly. The artistic classes weren't even what she was really worried about. She just hated school, she hated getting asked questions that she didn't know the answers to, she hated not understanding what was going on, she hated being so fucking vulnerable.

"What do you do?", She asked Ely next to stop herself from thinking about it.

"I'm a pianist.", The boy replied with a smile and Maeve did remember that she saw a piano in the living room and a keyboard in Ely's room when he gave her the tour.

"Are you any good?", She asked, daring to tease him a little.

"I'd like to believe that I am.", Ely grinned. "Wanna hear?", He then asked and Maeve raised her eyebrows in surprise.

"Now? Aren't your parents sleeping?", She asked. Did Ely just do whatever the fuck he wanted without any consequences?

"Yeah, but my headphones connect to the piano, come on.", He said, jumping off the counter and making his way to the living room. 

Maeve followed him, bringing the tub of ice-cream. In the living room he sat down on the little stool in front of the piano. Maeve sat down on the armchair next to the piano and watched him make some adjustments. After checking that the headphones were connected to the piano and that they weren't too loud, he handed them off to Maeve.

"Okay, so this is a piece I've been working on lately, I'm not entirely there yet so please keep that in mind.", He explained before Maeve put on the headphones.

Then he started to play. 

Maeve didn't know a lot about music, much less about classical music. It wasn't what she usually listened to anyways. But listening to Ely play? Watching his long elegant fingers rush over the keys at lightning speed, it was stunning. Maeve was absolutely flashed and entranced by it. When he suddenly stopped Maeve felt like he had yanked her out of a very nice dream.

"And this is the part where I always fuck up.", He smirked and Maeve needed a second to collect herself.

Once she did she pulled her headphones off and dared to smile for real. "That was amazing!", She exclaimed, hoping that he knew that she was being genuine.

"Thank you...", Ely smiled, nervously rubbing at his neck.

"You're so talented, what the fuck! Is everyone at that school like that?!", Maeve asked, still amazed.

"Not really. Of course there are nerds like me who take this all very seriously but the majority are just regular students that would rather go to a school where they can go ham on a canvas instead of having to do P.E. You'll be fine. ", Ely explained but Maeve wasn't even worried about herself right now. All she wanted was to hear more of that. 

She leaned back in her seat and put the headphones back on before smiling at Ely. "Play some more?", She asked and he returned her smile before starting to play a new piece. 

Maeve didn't know how long they stayed like this. Ely playing on the piano, her curled up on the chair, eating ice-cream and watching him. Every once in a while she'd hold out a spoon for him which he ate without stopping his playing. Eventually the tub was empty and a part of Maeve was worried but she was too tired and too content to really care. 

~

When Reid and Max entered the living room the next morning, they found Ely slumped on his piano and Maeve curled up in an armchair beside him, both fast asleep, an empty tub of ice-cream with two spoons between them.

"What's going on here?", Max asked quietly, a gentle smile pulling at her lips.

"I think there might've been a party we weren't invited to.", Reid replied, not trying to hold back his own grin.


	10. Three options

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: mentions of drug addiction and child neglect

After the kids woke up they all gathered for breakfast. Maeve seemed quite nervous at first but Ely whispered something in her ear and she seemed to relax a fraction. Reid wondered what had gone down last night but whatever it was, he was glad about it.

"Here's the plan for today.", Max started once they had all sat down around the breakfast table. " Spence, you and Maeve are gonna get some stuff for Maeve's room. Ely, you and I will go to the school for your rehearsal. Spence, you should also stop by a mall to get Maeve some clothes for tonight.", She explained.

It was Saturday. Tonight was Ely's showcase at school. Max and Spencer had thoroughly discussed if it was save to attend the event with Cat still on the loose. They eventually came to the conclusion that they couldn't put their entire life on hold and this evening was very important for Ely. The school always invited college scouts. Ely had to attend.

"What's tonight?", Maeve asked before taking a sip of her coffee. 

"The school is having a showcase.", Ely explained. " A bunch of us show of what we've been working on to justify why the school is so god damn expensive.", He then added with a cheeky smile and the corners of Maeve's mouth twitched a little. 

"So that's like... a fancy event?", she asked. The expression on her face was difficult to read. She was either nervous or just curious. Maybe both, Reid wasn't sure.

"Sort of, yeah.", Ely shrugged. 

"Are you sure that you want me to come?", Maeve then asked, looking down at the mug in her hands. So it had been nervous, not curious. Reid was starting to notice a pattern. Maeve rarely seemed to act the way she was actually feeling.

Reid looked to Max for a moment. His wife gave him an encouraging nod. "Of course, you're part of our family now.", Reid then said and that got Maeve to look at him again. She looked hesitant. Hesitant to believe him. " And you'll go to that school starting next week, so consider this your try-out-day.", Reid then added.

Maeve gave a shaky nod. "Okay. ", She then said after clearing her throat.

"Since we are discussing tonight. ", Ely suddenly spoke up, effectively pulling the attention away from Maeve. "You know how I wanted to go to that after party?", He asked carefully, like he knew that Max and Reid wouldn't be very enthusiastic about the topic. 

He was right. They weren't.

"Ely, I'm sorry, you're not going to a party when a murderous lunatic is on the loose- ", Max quickly clarified before giving Maeve an apologetic look. "No offence.", she added sheepishly.

"None taken.", The girl shrugged simply. It seemed to be honest so Reid returned to the topic at hand.

"You know that going to the showcase is already a huge risk. The party is a no-go.", He pointed out and Ely rolled with his eyes as he nodded along. 

"Yes, I know, I'm not dumb. Which is why I wanted to ask if it would be okay if a couple of people came over to our house. Just Kelly, Charlie, Syd and Rose. ", He then suggested. 

Reid looked over to his wife to see what she thought of the idea. Technically nothing could happen here. The house was still under the FBI's protection. And they knew Ely's friends all personaly, they were good kids. Technically nothing spoke against it.

"I mean... they would be save here...", Max stated slowly, giving Reid a questioning look. It said 'I'm in if you're in'

"And Rose and Sydney probably already know about the situation.",Reid added. Sydney Prentiss-Jareau was Emily and JJ's kid while Rose was Matt's youngest. They all tried to keep their kids away from all the FBI stuff but Reid knew that the kids were curious and that they couldn't keep everything from them. The little spies.

"But you should still talk to Kelly and Charlie and explain to them that the situation is risky.", Max insisted and Ely agreed enthusiastically, just happy that they were allowed to come over. 

"How much am I allowed to tell them? Is anything confidential?", his son then asked and sounded like he was half kidding and half not. Reid decided to treat the question seriously. It was a serious topic after all. 

"Just tell them that...", He looked to his daughter. "Maeve's mother is a convict who's on the loose and that we have to be extra careful right now? Would that be okay?", He asked her. 

Maeve's eyes were focused on her coffee and it seemed to take her a while to realize that he was addressing her. When she did she gave him a slightly irritated look before shrugging. "Yeah, sure, whatever you say."

"And we're not making it a big deal that Maeve is your kid.", Ely said, pointing at Reid and Maeve with his fork. It wasn't phrased as a question but Reid still nodded.

"Exactly. And if someone asks how that happened then you tell them that that's confidential.", He added. He'd really rather not have anyone else know about the circumstances of Maeve's conception.

"Great, now that that is settled, eat up, we've got a busy day ahead of us.", Max announced and they all focused on their breakfast. 

~

"What's your favourite colour?", Reid asked. They had been strolling through IKEA for 20 minutes now and so far Maeve hadn't picked out anything yet. She just looked around silently. Reid figured that she didn't want to demand anything in fear of punishment. Now he was looking for a way to bypass that.

"Why does it matter?", She asked, frowning at him and cocking her head to one side.

"Because then we'll pick out stuff in that colour.", Reid replied simply. Right now they were looking at comforters. Reid knew that he was probably making this way more complicated than it had to be. It was just a room. Maeve would probably make the space her own with time. But he really wanted to show her that he was trying to make this her home. 

"It's red, like... Dark red. ", Maeve then replied, a careful smile on her lips and Reid returned her smile. 

"Okay, then this comforter?", He asked, holding up a bordeaux colored one. 

"Yes. That one's good. ", The girl nodded, taking it from Reid and putting it in their empty shopping cart before pushing it along. 

"You know, you're allowed to pick out things as well. ", Reid stated as they continued to walk down the isle. Maeve didn't reply anything to that. Reid looked to her to see if he might be able to tell what she was thinking. The irritated expression was back. The furrowed brows, the lips that she pressed together, the lowered eyes. Something was bothering her. And Reid was pretty sure that he knew what it was. 

"Okay, here's a suggestion. I pick out three options, you pick one of them. ", he then tried and the expression on Maeve's face relaxed a little. 

The young girl looked to him and gave him a non-commital shrug. "I think that might actually work. Let's try that.", She then said. 

So that's what they did. Maeve's room already had a bed, a desk and a closet so now they were mostly just looking for small stuff to make it homier. Reid used the three options technique years ago when Ely wouldn't speak yet, to get him to make decisions without having to talk to them. Now it worked pretty well for Maeve as well. Reid would just pick three options that he thought she'd might like and Maeve would choose what they bought. This way she'd know that Reid was okay with her choosing the items because he had suggested them. 

This way they picked out a couple of pillows, a set of red and black candles, a large old-timey mirror, some fairy lights, a lamp, a potted plant, and a set of golden picture frames. 

"I don't have any pictures, though.", Maeve pointed out when they picked them out. 

"Not yet.", Reid stated before putting the frames into their cart. The look that Maeve gave him was puzzled but she didn't seem upset. 

"Are you sure that you want to buy all of that?", She asked when they made their way to the checkout line. Her tone was nonchalant, her eyes were anxious.

"Do you like the things we picked out?", Reid asked, watching her closely. 

Maeve looked down at their cart and a tiny smile pulled at her lips. "Yes, I do.", She said, looking up at Reid. 

"Then yes.", He nodded. 

~

"You need to start picking out things, you know?", Reid announced. Just like at IKEA Maeve was very hesitant to pick out clothes at the mall. Reid looked around for options for the pick three technique but he wasn't sure what Maeve's taste was. The few items she owned were all just baggy pants that didn't seem to be hers, old sweaters and t-shirts. He didn't want to dress her up in the things he liked, either. Reid wanted her to choose who she wanted to be herself.

"I just- I don't know what's appropriate? I've never been to a fancy event, or anything that can be described as an event in general.", Maeve explained with a sigh. Her eyes rested on a flowy dress, it had spaghetti straps, was floor length, and had a black and purple batik pattern. Maeve didn't reach for it, though. She just stared at it. 

"Well, for starters, it's an event at a performing arts high school. So even if the dresscode is technically formal, formal means a slightly different thing there. It's a very lax term.", Reid explained. There was this one couple that always showed up barefoot to school functions. It was very bizarre. 

Maeve glanced at Reid, then at the dress and then back at Reid. Reid gave her an encouraging nod. 

"So, how's this dress?", She then asked, reaching for it and Reid let a smile spread on his lips. 

"Great choice. Go try it on.", He said, taking the dress from it's hanger and handing it to Maeve. 

A wide grin appeared on her lips before she rushed off to the changing rooms. 

Reid followed her and sat down on one of the plushy chairs in front of the changing rooms. 15 minutes later Maeve came out again. She choose to not show Reid what the dress looked like when she wore it but when she came out she was smiling.

"It's good, the dress is good but it's- expensive...", She announced before showing Reid the pricetag. The dress cost 60 $, which was less than Reid had expected.

"That's fine. If you like it, you should have it. Besides, purple is my favourite colour.", Reid replied with a smile before getting out his wallet and handing Maeve 60 bucks. 

Maeve just stared at the bills in his hand for a moment before seemingly realizing that he wanted her to take them. "Thank you.", She said as she accepted the money before heading for the cash registry. 

After they bought the dress they made another stop to get matching shoes. Maeve chose a pair of chunky black high heels and she seemed a little less anxious when picking those out. 

"Do you want to grab lunch?", Reid asked her as they were leaving the shoe store. 

"Yeah, sure.", Maeve replied with a satisfied smile on her lips. Her mood was so much better today and Reid loved to see it. His daughter actually seemed a little excited, which was new. 

"Do you like Chinese? There's this new place that opened up here. ", Reid explained and Maeve nodded along.

"Yeah- I mean- I haven't eaten Chinese before, but I'm willing to try it. ", The girl admitted so that's what they did. 

It turned out that Maeve was a fan of Chinese food, not so much of chopsticks, though. Reid watched her struggle to use them for a while but when she accidentally launched a noodle into the air he finally cracked.

"Do you need a fork?", he chuckled.

"No. No I've got it.", Maeve replied, shaking her head as she dug back into her food. "I want the struggle. I want to overcome."

She tried for a bit longer, without any success. "Come on, I can't watch this. Give me your chopsticks. ", Reid eventually ordered, his tone amused. Maeve handed them over and Reid pulled a hair tie off his wrist that he always carried around in case Max or him needed it. Then he tied it around the ends of Maeve's chopsticks to secure them. "This is how a friend of mine taught me how to use them. Here, try it out. ", He said before handing them back. 

With the hair tie Maeve had much more control over her chopsticks and actually managed to successfully transport the food from the plate into her mouth. "Much better, thank you.", The girl nodded, her cheeks stuffed with noodles. 

"So, Ely and you had some bonding-time tonight?", Reid then asked her. Finding them in the living room together this morning was adorable and huge relief after Ely's prior assumption that Maeve hate him. Reid desperately wanted them to get along, because they were both his kids. 

"Yeah, he's cool. He speaks very highly of you. ", Maeve replied after swallowing her food. She seemed genuine which warmed Reid's heart. 

"At least someone does-", he smirked before he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He pulled it out to check who was calling. Charlie. "Give me a second, I need to take this.", he excused himself before picking up the phonecall. 

"Yes Charlie?", He started but the boy on the other line was already rambling at lightning speed. 

"Hey Doc, sorry to call, I'm just- fuck- shit- I'm fucking fuming- and- and I'm just so pissed- and my mom fucking fucked off- and my dad won't pic up his fucking-" It was clear that the boy was agitated, just judging by the excessive swearing and his breathless tone. It wasn't the first time that Charlie called Reid like this. Reid was Charlie's sponsor and one of the first things that Reid had promised Charlie was that whenever he needed help with anything, especially when he felt the urge to use again, he should call Reid. 

"Wait, slow down. Slow down, take a breath-", Reid interrupted him and Charlie did as he was told, taking a shaky but deep breath. "Now tell me what happened. "

Charlie then explained that his mother had abruptly left this morning to go on a trip with her new lover, seemingly forgetting about her son entirely.

Normally that wouldn't be a big issue, since Charlie's parents were pretty neglectful to begin with. Their idea of childcare was giving Charlie everything he wanted in exchange for never having to actually put up with him. The result of that was an 17 year old with a full fledged addiction to pretty much everything that would take him as far away from reality as possible. But since his overdose last year and subsequent trip to rehab his parents decided to do the bare minimum and take away his credit cards to stop financing his drug addiction. 

Normally a step in the right direction unless of course you decide to leave your son all by himself for an uncertain amount of time without any money for food. 

His parents were divorced and according to Charlie his dad wouldn't pick up the phone which sounded about right. Now he was freaking out, understandably. Reid didn't use the word 'hate' lightly, but he did hate Charlie's parents. 

"Okay. It's good that you called me. I can pick you up, just wait outside. I'll get you.", Reid replied once the boy was finished, keeping his tone calm. As panicked as he was, Charlie sounded sober, which was a good sign. The kid thanked him and then Reid hung up the phone. 

"Would it be okay for you if we cut this a little short and picked Charlie up?", Reid asked Maeve, giving her an apologetic smile.

"Who's Charlie?", The girl asked, cocking her head to one side and narrowing her eyes at him.

"Ahh, right. You haven't met him yet.", Reid noticed as he was already waving the waitress over. "Charlie is a friend of Ely's. He's also part of NA and I'm sponsoring him and he's sort of my unofficial second kid. Well, unofficial third kid, now that you're the official second kid.", He explained and he was pretty sure that Maeve's lips twitched into a smile for a moment.

"Uhhh... I'm official now.", She the smirked, her tone sarcastic.

"Yes you are.", Reid returned, completely serious. "I'll pay and get this packed up. ", He added. 

Once they got their food packed up and paid for they returned to the car and Reid drove to Charlie's. The boy lived in a far more expensive part of DC. His mother came from old money and still lived from a mix of her families money and her husband's alimonies. Charlie's dad was a big shot lawyer, mostly working for politicians. Reid always wondered why they even had a kid to begin with when neither of them were even remotely interested in being parents. Was it just to have someone that would inherit their fortune?

"There he is.", Reid announced as he drove by Charlie's house. The boy was already waiting by the street. As always he was dressed in all black, except that his hair was a startling shade of pink. That was new, a few days ago it had still been white. He must've dyed it recently.

Charlie gave Reid a confused look through the window when he spotted Maeve on the passengers seat before making his way to the back of the car to stash his duffle in the trunk. Then he slipped into the backseat. 

"Who are you?", He asked immediately, his green eyes narrowed at Maeve. Reid and Maeve turned around to look at him. Reid made sure that the boy's pupils were normal. They were. Good. 

"I'm the new you.", Maeve replied, a reference to the second unofficial kid thing. Charlie looked from her to Reid and back again, clearly confused.

"Did you start sponsoring someone else in the last 40 hours or did I miss something?", He then asked, looking to Reid again.

"No, Charlie. This is Maeve, my daughter.", Reid explained, turning back around and starting up the car. 

"Well... I've been to your house many times and the thing is... You don't have a daughter. ", Charlie pointed out, looking at Reid through the back mirror. 

"Yes, he does. It's just the first time that he let me out of the basement.", Maeve joked, or at least Reid hoped that that was the intend, she sounded completely serious.

"She's kidding.", Reid quickly added once he spotted Charlie's baffled expression.

"Yeah, I figured.", He mumbled. " I still don't understand, though. Did you randomly adopt a teenager and if yes, why couldn't it be me?", He then asked, his tone half joking. 

"Because you're not up for adoption.", Reid pointed out. " Also, no, Maeve is my biological daughter. I just... Didn't know about her until 4 days ago. ",he admitted. Even if they had talked about it, Reid still wasn't entirely sure how he was supposed to explain Maeve without giving away too much.

"God, those were 4 dense-ass days.", Maeve sighed and she was right. Reid felt like the past days had robbed him off a decade of his life, and it hadn't even been a week.

"You have a secret love-child? I didn't peg you as the type!", Charlie smirked, a surprised and maybe slightly impressed expression on his face. 

"Trust me, there wasn't a whole lot of love involved in my creation. ", Maeve snorted and Reid almost choked on his own spit at that, but he kept it together. 

"Anyways, Maeve will be living with us from now on because her mother is...", Reid started to explain before giving Maeve a questioning look. 

"...on the run from the FBI. ", The girl finished. Well, that wasn't the discrete reply that Reid had hoped for, but oh well.

"What?!", Charlie gasped out, completely bewildered.

"She escaped death row. ", Maeve added and Reid could tell that she was kind of enjoying Charlie's shock. 

"What?! You fucked a criminal?!", The boy asked, his big eyes glaring at Reid through the mirror.

"It's more complicated than that.", The older man groaned. 

"It's confidential.", Maeve told Charlie before looking to Reid. "That's what I'm supposed to say, right?"

"Yes, you're doing great.",he sighed before glancing back at Charlie to make sure that the boy wasn't freaking out too much. 

Charlie was staring ahead but his eyes looked distant, as if he was processing it. "Okay... I'm gonna get past this and...yup! I'm past it. ", He then announced after a while.

"Charlie. That's short for Charles, right?", Maeve asked, turning in her seat to look at Charlie.

"Yeah, but nobody calls me that, except for my dad and my dad doesn't really call me anything anymore, so nobody calls me Charles.", the boy joked bitterly. 

"Alright, Charles.", Maeve nodded and Charlie pulled a face at that. 

"I said nobody-", he objected but Maeve wouldn't even let him finish. 

"Yeah but I do.", She shrugged, not at all intimidated. Reid remembered that her file said that she was better with peers, it was quite evident now. She didn't seem half as anxious with Charlie as she did with Reid. 

"What's wrong with Charlie?", Charlie asked, narrowing his eyes at her. 

"Nothing. I just like that you absolutely don't look like a Charles. ", the girl chuckled and she had a point. 

Charlie stared at Maeve for a while after that, a puzzled expression on his face. Maeve just stared back, unflinchingly. It was Charlie who cracked first, looking to Reid for help. 

"Can I talk about myself now? Because I really want to talk about myself now. ", He asked as Maeve turned back around to face the road again.

"Go ahead Charles.", the girl smirked. 


	11. Sober and boring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a BIG BOY! I hope you enjoy it! Warnings for discussion of drug addiction and mentions of overdosing but nothing graphic

An hour before they were scheduled to leave Max decided to check in on Maeve. After Spence returned with Maeve and Charlie they all carried her new stuff into her room but since then she hadn't seen her anymore. 

Max hadn't talked to Maeve much, yet. Maeve was very quiet around her and Max couldn't help but to feel like the young girl was scared. Max didn't like the idea of scaring a child. 

"Hey... Can I come in?", She asked after knocking against Maeve's bedroom door. 

"Yeah, sure...", a faint voice came from the other side. 

Max opened the door and leaned against the doorframe. Maeve had laid out the dress and the shoes they bought on the bed but she hadn't started to get dressed yet.

"Spence told me that you bought a cute dress for tonight, it looks great. ", Max commented with a smile.

Maeve gave her a hesitant look before returning her attention to the dress. She looked incredibly uncomfortable, she had wrapped her arms around herself and her shoulders drawn to her ears. 

"Yeah, I like it a lot. I just have no idea what to do with my hair, or my face. I mean, I don't own make-up and Nadia only ever put it on me when she needed me to look older. ", The girl explained before dragging her hands through her messy curls.

"Do you want me to help you with that?", Max offered carefully. She could admit that she was weary of Maeve at first. To her Maeve had just been Cat's daughter, someone who was out to hurt her husband. But now that she knew what Maeve had been through, she knew that she was just a kid. A kid that got hurt and couldn't even begin to comprehend that not all people were cruel.

"Would you?" Maeve asked, sounding unsure, like Max might just tell her that she had been kidding.

"Of course! Come on. ", Max nodded enthusiastically before leading Maeve to her and Spencer's bedroom where she sat the girl down in front of her vanity. 

She started with brushing through Maeve's hair. It was thicker and darker than Spencer's but it had the same waves and curls. "You have great hair, it's kind of like Spencer's, just darker. ", Max pointed out, smiling at Maeve through the mirror.

Maeve didn't smile back. She just stared herself down, her expression empty. Max wasn't even sure if she had heard her.

"I look like Cat, don't I?", Maeve then asked and while her expression didn't shift in the slightest, she sounded sad.

Max felt the urge to disagree but then again she felt like the girl would know if she lied to her. And it would be a lie. Maeve looked a lot like Cat. Her eyes and lips were her mother's and even if her features were a lot sharper, like Spencer's, she still reminded Max of Cat. But Max also didn't want to admit to that. Because there was also so much of the man she loved in this girl. 

"A little. But you also look a lot like your father. Those eyebags are definitely Spencer's.", She decided to reply and to her relief Maeve caught the joke and smirked a little. When she smiled she reminded Max more of Spencer. It was strange to see a mix of the two people she loved and hated most.

"Why are you being so nice?",Maeve asked carefully once Max moved on to curling the girl's hair.

"Why wouldn't I be?", Max asked in return. She could guess why Maeve was weary of her, she still wanted to hear her reasoning, though.

"Because I'm your husband's bastard child, and you don't have paternal reasons that force you to put up with me.", Maeve replied simply and when Max looked at the mirror she found Maeve staring at her. Maybe she was waiting for her to agree. Max wouldn't do that, though.

"Is that why you think Spencer wants to take care of you?", She asked instead.

"I mean... It's the most plausible and least sinister option.", Maeve shrugged before looking down at her hands in her lap. Max felt a pit in her stomach. "Spencer doesn't strike me as a sinister guy, not that impressions can't be wrong, but I don't think that he wants to hurt -", Maeve suddenly cut herself off and gave Max a sharp look. Her eyes were afraid, afraid that she had said too much. 

"I don't think I should be talking about this to you. ", She then whispered and Max felt the urge to hug her, though she didn't know if Maeve would be up for that.

"It's okay, you can if you want to, I won't judge.", She said instead, making a point to keep her tone light. She needed Maeve to know that she hadn't crossed any lines.

"The point is,", Maeve went on as Max started on her make-up. " Spencer has evolutionary as well as logical reason to take care of me, you don't. You should hate me. ", Maeve explained and Max bit down on her lip guiltily.

"I don't. I won't lie to you, at first I was a little... weary of you. Not because of who you are as a person but-", she confessed but she didn't even need to finish that sentence.

"-but because of my mother. ", Maeve finished for her.

"Yes. ", Max admitted. "She hurt our family a lot, I don't want that happening again. But Spencer made me realize that you're not your mother and that you're just a kid. And pardon me if I'm wrong but as far as I can tell, not a lot of people have been nice to you in your life. It's time that that changes.", The woman went on to explain. 

Now that she was working on Maeve's face the girl was staring straight at her. The barrier of the mirror was gone. There was something a little unnerving about her, something a little strange. It wasn't foreign to Max, though. She had seen the same look in Ely's eyes. Maybe it just came with eyes that saw too many things at a too early age.

She couldn't tell if Maeve believed her, her expression was neutral, empty, her eyes intense. Max couldn't read her, that would take time. She'd make sure to take that time.

"Okay, your face is done, go put on the dress. ", Max finally said and Maeve nodded as she got up before rushing out and back to her room. 

10 minutes later she came striding into the bedroom. "No wonder Spencer loves the dress. ", Max grinned widely. 

"Is it okay?", Maeve asked anxiously. 

"You look gorgeous.", Max said and it was absolutely genuine. "But wait, one thing is missing. ", She then said before making her way over to her jewelry box and taking out a sparkly silver head chain with amethysts.

Even in her own high heels Max had to stand on her tippy toes and Maeve had to bend down a little to place the chain on Maeve's head, that's how tall the girl was. 

"Perfekt.", Max smiled when she was done. She took a step back to look at her work. She had given Maeve dark eye make-up and ruby red lips. Her hair was still curly but just a little neater now. "Come here, look at yourself in the mirror. ", She ordered, not trying to hide her own excitement. Max pulled Maeve to her side in front of a floor length mirror. 

"Do you like it?", She asked. Maeve had been pretty before but there was just something very rewarding about helping her get ready that Max had never experienced before. Maybe because she never had a daughter. Maybe because she never got to do mother-daughter-activities.

"I don't look like myself. ", Maeve breathed out but she was smiling, her eyes were sparkling.

"Yes you do, that's all you. ", Max insisted before giving Maeve's shoulders an encouraging squeeze. "I always wanted to have a daughter. " It slipped out before Max could stop it and for a moment she was afraid that she had said too much, that Maeve would get freaked out. But the girl's smile only widened and Max felt relief.

"Anyways, want to show the men of the household now? They're probably already waiting.",Max then asked and Maeve glanced over at her, still smiling as she nodded.

~

"Max?! Maeve?! We need to go!", Reid called from the bottom of the stairs. Ely and Charlie were waiting beside him.

"We're coming!" Max yelled back before rushing down the stairs a minute later, dressed in a gorgeous silky black dress, her hair tied up in an updo with a few luxurious curls hanging out. 

"Wait for it.", She then announced, an excited smile on her lips as she turned to look towards the stairs. 

A moment later Maeve came down the stairs. The purple dress hugged her tall slender figure perfectly, her pale face was framed by her dark curls, her ruby-red smile was somehow both proud and self-conscious. "Ta-da? ", the girl said when she arrived at the bottom of the stairs. In her heels she was as tall as Reid. 

"Maeve, you look-", Reid started but before he could finish he got interrupted by Charlie.

"Hot, your new sister's hot. ", Charlie stated, turning to Ely that pulled a face at that remark.

"Charlie! Mind your manners", Reid groaned. God, that was most definitely not a problem he had seen coming. 

"Oh right, sorry. ", Charlie smiled apologetically before basically doing a curtesy, overdoing the manners thing a little.

"Do you like it, you better, you paid for it.", Maeve then asked, pulling Reid's attention back to her.

"You look amazing.", Reid told her because she did and Maeve smiled back at him, satisfied. 

"You're stealing my show, I though this was supposed to be about me. ", Ely whined dramatically. "Also, how dare you wear heels, now you're taller than me."

"Nobody is stealing anyone's show, you're incredibly handsome. ", Max cut in before straightening Ely's tie. "Besides, now you know what it's like to be short in a family of giraffes.", She then added with a grin at which Ely pulled a face.

Reid noticed Maeve glancing at Charlie who was dressed in black checkered pants, a black button up and combat boots. "Are you coming, too, Charles?", She asked him. 

"Yeah, it's my school, too, you know? We're in the same year, you and I. ",Charlie replied with a grin. 

"Cool. ", Maeve returned, the corners of her mouth twisting into a slight smile. Great, Reid would have to keep an eye on that.

"Okay, Family photo. Charlie? Would you? ", Max then asked, pulling Reid's attention back towards her and Ely. 

"Of course.", Charlie nodded, taking the phone that Max held out for him. Reid and Max took their spots next to Ely but Maeve just remained where she stood, next to Charlie.

"Maeve? What are you doing? Come get here. ", Max then ordered, holding out her arm and Reid was relieved to see how much more willing Max was to include Maeve in their family.

"Are you sure?", Maeve asked, looking genuinely surprised about the offer.

"Of course. We can print it out for one of your picture frames. ", Reid suggested and a hesitant smile pulled at Maeve's lips before she came over to join them.

Charlie commanded them to smile and counted down until he pressed the button. It took a couple of tries because someone always had their eyes closed but eventually the got a satisfactory picture.

"Perfekt. Okay, Come on! We're late!", Max clapped in her hands before ushering them all outside.

~

"Hey, sorry for being late.", Max whispered as they took their seats in the audience, next to a Korean man who looked a little older than Spencer, a girl Maeve's age who seemed to be his daughter and Jennifer Jareau. The show had already started and they had to sneak inside but now they were all seated.

"It's all good, they just started.", Jennifer Jareau whispered back before giving Maeve a weary glance. It had to be weird to see someone you recently interrogated at a school event now. Maeve tried to not think about it too much and focus her eyes on the stage instead where a girl was currently singing.

"Hey.", a familiar voice beside her said and Maeve looked to her right to find Charlie sat beside her. She hadn't really paid attention to him, part of her had just assumed that he left with Ely to go back stage. Apparently not.

"Hey.", Maeve whispered back before looking straight ahead again. She could feel Charlie staring at her for a moment longer before mirroring her behaviour.

"You give off a weird vibe.", Charlie stated after a while but when he said it it didn't feel like a negative thing. Maeve chose to not feel insulted. For now.

"Shouldn't you be up on that stage?", she asked him, cocking her head towards him.

"I'm not a performer.", Charlie shrugged and Maeve wondered what it was that Charlie did. What his thing was. Maybe he was into art, she could see that.

"Neither am I.", Maeve returned right before the girl on stage finished her song and the audience broke out into loud applause. It held on for a minute or so and when the audience settled again the girl left the stage. Next a grand piano was rolled out onto the stage followed by a slim man in a suit.

"Wait it's his turn.", Charlie mumbled and Maeve squinted her eyes until she recognized the man on stage to be Ely. Charlie jumped up from his seat, yelling:"Fuck them up E!" Maeve gave Charlie an equally bewildered and amazed look but one glance to Reid and Max told her that they weren't bothered or even surprised by that type of behaviour. 

Ely took his place in front of the piano and Charlie sat down next to Maeve again, giving her a wayward smile before looking towards the stage. Maeve couldn't help but to stare for a moment longer. It was interesting to see how excited and supportive Charlie was of Ely. He didn't look like the type. Everything about Charlie looked vicious, his dark clothes, his sharp features, even his hot pink hair somehow only made him look bolder. That is, until he smiled. When he smiled it kind of made him look like a goof, like his face wasn't used to this expression. Like it wasn't made for it. Maeve wasn't sure why that made him more likeable.

Maeve shifted her focus back to the stage where Ely started playing. She knew he was good, she had heard him play last night. But compared to this, last night had been child's play. Now he was in his element and he was stunning. At one point Maeve just closed her eyes and let the music enchant her, carry her away from this place to somewhere where nothing mattered besides Ely's hands stroking all the right keys. 

Once he was finished Maeve felt like something was missing, like the world had gone quiet. Then the applause started, deafening. Ely's parents, their entourage and Charlie jumped up and Maeve found herself standing as well, she clapped until the palms of her hands stung.

"He's amazing.", she exclaimed to no one in particular but she ended up looking at Charlie. 

"Right?", the other boy grinned.

That's how the evening went on. Incredibly talented teenagers would perform on stage one after the other while Charlie gave commentary. Finally a girl in a white tutu walked on to the stage and took position.

"Time for the ice queen.", Charlie mumbled beside Maeve.

"Who?", Maeve asked right before Mrs Jareau cheered loudly. 

"Sydney!", the woman yelled. This had to be her and Prentiss' daughter.

A classical music piece started and Sydney started to dance. Maeve had trouble keeping up, they sat too far away so it was all a blur but she could still tell that she was incredibly talented. It sort of looked unhuman how she danced across that stage, almost levitating. 

After all the performances were done a teacher held a final speech, Maeve couldn't really remember it, she had zoned out during that part. Before she knew the show was over and they were all waiting on Ely and Sydney to come over.

"There they are!", Mrs Jareau exclaimed when Ely and Sydney came into view, walking over to them. Ely was smiling widely while Sydney's expression was entirely blank. Up close Maeve finally got a good look at her. She was shorter than Maeve but still quite tall, her arms and legs were elegant but muscular, her hair was long and blond like her mother's and her eyes were big and so pale blue that they barely set themselves apart from the whites of her eyes. She was gorgeous and she looked at all of them as if they were nothing.

"You killed it!", Max eclaimed before Reid added:" Both of you, you were amazing.", 

"My man!", Charlie grinned and he and Ely did that typical guy hug where there wasn't a whole lot of hugging but a lot of slapping each other's backs. Once they were done with that little ritual Charlie turned towards Sydney. 

"Syd, you were simply enchanting-", Charlie smirked, his tone sarcastic, his smile sickly sweet.

"Fuck off. ", Sydney deadpanned, crossing her arms in front of her chest and looking to her mother. "Where's mom?", she asked, a little quieter and Maeve only now realized that Emily Prentiss wasn't here.

"Oh dear... Something came up, she couldn't make it. But she's very proud of you.", Mrs Jareau explained, her tone apologetic, her hands gentle as she rubbed her daughter's shoulders.

Sydney barely reacted, she rolled with her eyes, that was it. "Typical.", she all but spat before looking over at Maeve. Her eyebrows pulled together into a frown. " What are you staring at?", she snapped and Maeve quickly looked away.

"Sydney, don't be rude. This is Maeve, she's Spencer's-", Mrs Jareau cut in but her daughter wouldn't let her finish what she was saying.

"-bastard child. Yeah, I heard.", Sydney finished, glaring at Maeve like she was something despicable. Maybe because she was. 

"I prefer the term daughter.", Reid insisted, stepping next to Maeve and as much as Maeve appreciated it, she still couldn't stop staring at Sydney. For a moment she thought they would just stand there forever, staring each other down. Then Sydney looked away, Maeve would be lying if she said that she didn't feel a bit of satisfaction at that.

"Whatever, I'll go get changed.", she mumbled before turning on her heels and heading back backstage.

"Don't take it personally, she's very protective of our boy-wonder.", Charlie told Maeve a moment later. Maeve watched her leave and then looked to Ely who was excitedly talking to the korean girl. 

"Are Ely and her dating?", Maeve heard herself ask.

"No. But they have this platonic soulmates thing going on. Ely's girlfriend is actually-", Charlie said before his voice got drowned out by the sound of a female voice shrieking.

"Baby!", a girl yelled before throwing herself at Ely, almost throwing both of them over.

"Her.", Charlie finished, pointing towards the two. 

"Hey, Kelly, did you like it?", Ely asked the girl in his arms. She was petite with shoulder-long ginger hair and narrow, sharp eyes that kind of made her look like a fox.

"You were amazing!", she giggled before pressing her lips against his and starting to violently make out with him. Their intensity got pretty ridiculous at some point and Maeve felt like she should look away but just like a carcrash, Maeve couldn't tear her eyes off of it. She hadn't hung around kids her age in over two years. Last time she checked, people of the opposite gender were still considered annoying, maybe even disgusting. This was new.

"Oh god, she's devouring him.", Maeve said to herself, under her breath. But of course Charlie heard her. 

"Yeah, to be in love is the most horrid disease of all.", the other boy stated, cocking his head to one side as he watched the other couple inhale each other. Maeve looked up at him. She had to look up because Charlie was ridiculously tall, even taller that Reid.

"Who said that?", she asked, pulling her eyebrows together. She didn't read a lot so she wasn't good with quotes, even though she could remember most things she heard.

Charlie gave her his dumb goofy smile. "I did.", he claimed proudly.

~

Not even an hour later they were all back at Reid's house. The parents were all downstairs, having their own little get-together while Charlie, Ely, Sydney, Kelly, Maeve and the korean girl who introdused herself as Rose gathered in Ely's bedroom. Ely had put on a record, because like any self-respecting music-nerd he loved vinyl, the lights were dimmed and then Kelly pulled two wine bottles out of her bag.

"Look what I stole out of my dad's wine cellar!", she announced with a cheeky grin and Maeve didn't like where this was going.

"Nice, hand it over!", Ely laughed, preparing several red plastic cups on his desk. Maeve stepped next to him and turned her back on the room . 

"Spencer and Max are downstairs.", she whispered to Ely, not bothering to cover up that she was freaking out. She couldn't afford to break the rules. She couldn't misbehave.

"Yeah, but they are okay with this. As long as it's no hard alcohol and as long as an adult is around they don't mind.", Ely explained simply and Maeve hoped that that was true. "Want some?", he then asked her, offering her one of the cups. Even if Maeve were interested, she wasn't allowed to drink, it was against her probation-terms, so she shook her head.

"No, thank you. I'll stick to the coke.", she replied before pouring some coke into one of the empty cups. 

The evening went on and on, the other teens drank more and more of the wine, the music got louder and louder, just like their voices. Maeve kept mostly to herself, sat in Ely's office chair, watching them, sipping her coke. She noticed that Charlie didn't drink either, she noticed that Rose looked over at Ely every time she made a joke as if she was checking if he laughed, she noticed Sydney glaring at Kelly everytime she spoke and she noticed Kelly and Charlie basically treat each other like air. They all seemed to have fun but they also all seemed to hate each other a little. Was that normal? Had Maeve just forgotten everything abou group dynamics with people her age?

"So Maeve, how long will you stick around?", Kelly suddenly asked, pulling Maeve out of her thoughts. Her voice wasn't slurring or anything but there was a tone to it that indicated that she was definitely tipsy. Maeve didn't even fully process the question right away. She was more distracted by the shark-like grin on Kelly's face.

"Kelly.", Ely sighed but he didn't sound all that sober so the attempt was a little half-assed.

"No, I want to know, you're what? Ely's new sister? Or are they going to send you away once they catch your mom?", Kelly went on, and Maeve was pretty sure that Kelly was in offence-mode. 

"I don't know yet. Whatever Spencer and Max decide.", Maeve replied, shrugging her shoulders. It was the truth, even if everyone else told her otherwise. 

"Why was your mom in prison to begin with?", Kelly asked next, playing it off as simple curiosity but the look in her eyes was poisonous. She was trying to make this hurt.

"That's confidential.", Maeve replied simply and she could tell that everyone had stopped what they were doing and were watching her instead. 

"Did she kill someone?", Kelly asked, feigning worry, her eyes comically wide. She had no idea what she was talking about.

"Kelly, stop it.", Ely told at her and the girl gave him an offended look before focusing in on Maeve again. 

"I'm just worried.", she claimed, her whiny voice fake as hell. Maeve had to remind herself that she was being nasty on purpose, that she was trying to get a rise out of her. 

"It's none of your business.", Charlie snapped which earned him a poisonous glare. As much as Maeve appreciated him taking her side, it didn't stop Kelly in the slightest.

"I think we should be allowed to know if a dangerous woman is out on the loose. So, is your mom a murderer?", Kelly asked, getting up from where she sat on the bed and striding towards Maeve. She got closer and closer, circling Maeve in. 

"Shut the fuck up, Kelly.", Sydney sighed but Kelly didn't even seem to register the other girl's voice. She just kept on getting closer and closer, glaring Maeve down, and Maeve was just desperately trying to keep it together and not snap at her but then Kelly layed her hands on the armsrests of the chair Maeve was sitting in and suddenly she was all up in Maeve's face and Maeve just... flipped out.

"Yes she is, so I guess you should be fucking scared.", she spat, lunging forward and that was enough to make Kelly take several steps back. 

"Did you threaten me?", she shrieked and Maeve couldn't tell anymore if her fear was fake or real. Just that she was pretty damn convincing and that Ely and all his friends were watching Maeve's every move.

"No, I warned you. Stay away from me.", Maeve spoke through gritted teeth before getting out of her chair and storming out of the room, trying to ignore all the eyes that followed her. She made her way down the stairs and through the livingroom, aiming for the backdoor that lead to the backyard. 

"Maeve?", Spencer asked from the dining tabel where he and the adults were gathered but Maeve couldn't talk right now. She felt the urge to throw something, or cry, and neither of those were acceptable.

"I've got this.", she heard Charlie's voice not far behind her and then she was outside. It was soothing, the dark of the night, the cold wind, it calmed her down. Maeve heard the door open again and someone step outside. 

"You've got this?", she asked, with a raised eyebrow, turning towards Charlie. 

"Yup.", the boy nodded confidently, before burying his hands in the pockets of his pants.

"And what is it exactly, that you've got?", Maeve asked sharply, she was still buzzing. 

"Depends on what just happened.", the boy returned, not intimidated in the slightest. Maeve glared at him for a while, waiting for him to budge, to back down, but he wouldn't. He just stared right back, his expression neutral but open. 

Eventually Maeve was the one to cave first. "I blew up in a random girls face and now you and your friends probably think I'm nuts.", she sighed, diverting her eyes, looking down at the patch of grass in front of them. 

"For starters, everyone could see that she was being a dick on purpose. Besides, we all know that Kelly is a bitch.", Charlie simply expalined and the thing was, Maeve thought that he was actually being genuine. She wasn't sure what she had expected from him, definetly not this. 

"Yeah, but she can afford to be a bitch. I can't.", Maeve whispered. She wasn't sure why she was saying this or why she was talking to Charlie at all. She didn't even know him. Maeve shouldn't be talking to a random guy she only knew for a few hours. Still, she didn't tell him to leave and when Charlie pulled out a pack of cigarettes and offered Maeve one, she nodded.

Charlie lit his own cigarette, taking a deep drag, then he handed the lighter to Maeve. The girl tried to light hers but she only now realized that her hands were trembling uncontrolably. Charlie watched her struggle for a moment before stopping her. "Wait, let me help you out. ", he said but instead of taking the lighter back he just stepped closer and closer, until he could just hold the burning end of his cigarette against Maeve's unlit one. Maeve took a deep breath, not letting his eyes out of her sight. Then she breathed out and the smoke between them abstruccted his face enough for her to pull herself out of her weird trance.

Charlie also seemed to need a few seconds to catch himself, he took several steps back and sat down on the stairs that lead from the patio to the garden. Maeve decided to follow him shortly but she deliberately kept a little space between them. "Do you really think that they'll send you away?", he eventually asked, looking over at Maeve. 

Maeve felt like his staring should make her uncomfortable, she wasn't used to people staring at her with such intent, like they were actually looking. It didn't though, it was weirdly nice, which in turn freaked her out. Basically, she couldn't pinpoint what she was feeling.

"I don't know. If I don't behave they probably will. If I do... maybe they won't. Or maybe Kelly is right and they're just keeping me around until they catch my mom. ", Maeve thought out loud before taking a drag of her cigarette. 

"You don't really believe that.", Charlie smirked and he looked at Maeve like he expected her to smile and tell him that she was kidding. She wasn't, so she didn't smile. She just stared at him as he stared at her. This time he was the first to look away. His smile slipped and he looked to the sky. Before this week Maeve hadn't seen the night sky in... a long time. The first time she saw it again she felt the urge to cry, she didn't, though. That'd be weird.

"Well, as someone who has known the Reids a little longer than you, they're not sending you away, don't worry. ",Charlie stated after a while and his voice sounded weird when he did but Maeve couldn't pinpoint what it was.

She didn't feel like talking about this, she didn't feel like getting lured into a false sense of security. So she changed the topic.

"You're not drinking either. ", she pointed out and Charlie glanced over at her, raising his eyebrows.

"You're perceptive. ", He smirked and there was a bitter note to it.

"Is it because of NA? Are you an alcoholic?", Maeve asked and while she was afraid that she might be crossing a line here, Charlie had seemed pretty indifferent to her knowing about his addiction when they picked him up earlier this day.

"Technically, no. But also yes. ", The boy replied, pulling a face before inhaling more smoke.

"Elaborate.", Maeve ordered, doing the same. The smoke filling her lungs made them feel tight and claustrophobic, it made her throat burn, but it was a familiar feeling, it was grounding. 

"I don't have an issue with alcohol. But when I'm drunk I'm much more likely to do other things that I do have a problem with. ", Charlie replied and Maeve was surprised by his honesty. Maybe that was something that NA had taught him, maybe it had been Spencer. 

"Like what?", she asked, genuinely interested. So far Charlie was the least threatening person here even if that made no sense on a surface level. There was just something about him that Maeve found comforting. 

"You're very curious for someone who's existence is confidential.", Charlie smirked and Maeve didn't manage to prevent herself from smiling as well.

"Okay, then ask me something, Charles.", She challenged him. Again, Maeve had no idea why, but for once she felt like maybe she didn't have to overthink all her words ten times before saying them.

"Why don't you drink?", Charlie asked after pondering for a moment. 

That was an easy one, at least in Maeve's book. "I'm on probation. Can't have anything in my system because my probation officer might drop in to drug test me at any moment.", She replied simply. Probation wasn't a touchy subject to her. It was better than going back to juvie and the terms were manageable, and it was probably the least scandalous thing about her.

"What did you do?", Charlie asked next. He seemed quite surprised. 

"What's your vice?", Maeve asked in return. The why was already heading into a direction she was less comfortable with so she tried to get back to Charlie.

"I asked first.", The boy complained, looking to Maeve with and expectant expression on his face. 

"I helped my mother escape death row. ", , She confessed and Charlie's eyes grew wide with shock.

"Holy shit? And you only got probation?!", the boy gasped but he didn't sound scared or anything. It was weird.

"Let's just say that there wasn't a whole lot of free will on my part involved. ", Maeve shrugged. She tried to not think too much about why she helped Cat, about the things she did because of Cat. Going down that path usually made her spiral.

"Damn.", Charlie breathed out, taken aback.

"Now you. ", Maeve said, trying to move past this topic. 

Charlie gave her a weary look before letting out a deep sigh. "Adderall, coke and extacy. I've done other things but those are the main ones.", he explained and there was something about him when he talked about that. Something darker, rougher. There was no trace of the goofy smile. He looked like he was far away and like where ever he was, he didn't like it there. Then he snapped out of it and the grin was back, even if it was a bit more bitter now. "But I've been boring and sober for almost 3 months now.", He announced. 

"Okay.", Maeve nodded.

"Okay? That's all you're gonna say?", Charlie asked with a raised eyebrow but still smiling.

"I mean, thats fucked dude but I don't really have room to judge, you know?", Maeve pointed out and Charlie chuckled at that. Maeve wasn't sure what was so funny about that but at least he wasn't upset with her.

"Yeah, I guess I do. ", He nodded along 

"Is it a secret?", Maeve asked next and Charlie gave her a confused look. 

"What?"

"Your drug problem.", She clarified. " I'm not saying that I plan on talking about it but it's always better to know what you should definitely keep your mouth shut about. "

"Ahh, very considerate, but no. My little overdose incident and the subsequent trip to rehab was all over social media. I also got held back a year, and almost got kicked out of school for passing out in a school bathroom. ", he explained and the bitter smile was back. 

"Shit.", Maeve breathed out and Charlie nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, everybody knows that I'm the resident junkie. ",He chuckled but there was no humour in it.

"How long do you think until everyone knows about me? About my background.", Maeve asked, trying to hide her own anxiety. She knew that it was inevitable. But that didn't mean that she was excited about it.

"Judging by how much Kelly already hates you? They might already know.", Charlie replied, sounding apologetic but at least he was being honest.

"Great.", Maeve mumbled under her breath before taking a drag of her cigarette again.

"Yeah, but don't worry, you've got me and Ely. ", Charlie told her and Maeve didn't like how nice it felt to hear him say that.

"But Ely's girlfriend hates me.", She pointed out. That was another fear of hers, that Ely would change his opinion on her, that he would take Kelly's side.

Charlie waved her off though. "That doesn't mean anything to Ely. Kelly hates all of us. We just all learned to tolerate each other because we know that we have to. You're just... The new one.", He explained and Maeve was satisfied to hear that her prior observations had been correct.

"You're a good guy, Charles.", Maeve said after a moment of silence. She didn't know if that was true but she felt like saying it. Until last week Maeve hadn't really believed that good guys existed. Everyone always hurt each other, but these people seemed to be different. 

"No offence, but you've known me for less than a day. I'm really not. ", Charlie chuckled, his smile deprecating and Maeve wasn't sure why but that only made him more sympathetic. Because even if he might not be good, at least he was honest.

"Maybe, but I've met lots of shitty guys and in my ranking of men that I don't absolutely hate, you come shortly after Ely and Spencer. And they trust you so there has to be something trustworthy about you. ", Maeve explained her thinking and the expression on Charlie's face was difficult to read.

"If I'm third best then the guys in your life must've been truly awful.", the boy said and Maeve realized that he looked sad, he was sad for her. Maeve didn't know how to handle that, it wasn't the same as pity, she could handle pity, but this wasn't it. She didn't know what to reply so she just stared back like she always did. 

"Well, if it's any consolation, I'm glad that you're here now. ", Charlie eventually said, a careful smile on his lips and Maeve couldn't yet admit that but a part of her agreed. She couldn't say that, though. Not yet. 

So instead she just raised her cigarette like it was a drink and asked:"To being boring and sober?"

Charlie's smile widened into his full on goofy grin and he tapped his cigarette against hers as if they were toasting. "To being boring and sober."


	12. Coping Mechanisms

The rest of the weekend went by pretty uneventfully. That didn't mean that Maeve's anxiety didn't built up continually until Monday morning.

She hadn't been to school in over two years and as much as she hated Nadia's place, she didn't miss school at all.

It's not that she hated learning, she was just bad at it. No matter how much she tried, she just couldn't do anything right.

It used to be pretty shitty already but at least no one expected her to succeed at anything. The only person she was disappointing was herself. But now... Now it turned out that she had a father who was a goddamn kid prodigy and expected her to not be completely useless.

Maeve would try to be better this time, to work harder, but she knew that eventually she'd disappoint him. Spencer, for some unfathomable reason, seemed to believe in her. That was a new feeling, and as reluctant Maeve was to actually trust him, she didn't want to loose it.

"Are you nervous?", Ely asked as they made their way to his car Monday morning.

"Huh?", She asked, snapping back to reality. She might've zoned out a little.

"First day of school.", Charlie elaborated before climbing into the passenger seat. He had stayed over the entire weekend, only going back to his place to get more clothes. Not necessarily for himself but for Maeve.

It turned out that Charlie's thing was fashion and since Maeve owned a total of 3 outfits and Charlie owned a surprising amount of women's clothing that he made himself, he had decided to give her a make-over. Now she was wearing black cullotes, a Hawaiian shirt that Maeve fell in love with and one of Charlie's leather jackets. She wouldn't lie, it had been pretty enjoyable to have both Ely and Charlie fuss over her all day yesterday. But now she was back to being miserable.

"I'm bursting with excitement.", She replied sarcastically before getting into the backseat.

"Do you have a driver's license?", Charlie asked, seemingly out of pure curiousity.

"Nope, I tend to demolish cars, not drive them. ", Maeve replied which was true and a little too honest but still seemed less awful than saying that she spend the last two years locked up in a closet.

"Why do I feel like this wasn't a joke?", Charlie smirked, glancing back at Maeve.

"Because it wasn't. What about you?", She asked and Charlie gave her a too bright smile. It wasn't like his goofy smile. It wasn't happy, it made him look like a shark.

"My license got taken away because of my DUIs.", He then replied and Maeve understood where the sharp smile stemmed from. That was something she had noticed about Charlie. He was quick to smile but when the topic turned into something uncomfortable, instead of admitting it, he just pretended that it didn't bother him. He was a bad liar though.

"Could've guessed that.", Maeve nodded along before leaning back in her seat.

Ely looked from Charlie to Maeve, pulling his eyebrows together. "Aren't you two a pair. Charlie has been looking for a chaos twin for a while now. ", He remarked before starting the car.

"Unfortunately we're both restricted from having fun.", Charlie remarked, giving Maeve a knowing look. The shark-smile was gone and Maeve was glad. She liked him better without it.

"Bummer.", Maeve shrugged as Ely drove off.

Before they went to the school they picked up Sydney. She slipped into the car wordlessly, giving each of them a look of contempt before pulling out her binder and starting to read through it.

Their second stop was Kelly's house which was a ridiculously big mansion. When she got in the car she gave each of them an exaggerated greeting before giving Maeve a dirty look. Right, she'd have to deal with her as well.

"Are we picking up Rosa as well, because I don't think she'll fit?", Maeve pointed out when they were all seated.

"Rosa doesn't go to our school. ", Sydney explained and Kelly let out a malicious giggle.

"Yeah, she goes to public school. ", She then remarked and from her mouth it sounded like an insult, probably because it was supposed to be.

"Is there something wrong with that?", Maeve asked her, playing it dumb. She didn't know Rose all that well but on Saturday she had been quite sweet and she didn't deserve to be taunted. 

Kelly went to say something but Ely gave her a look through the back mirror. "Kelly.", He only said, his tone not malicious but still determined. Kelly held his gaze for a moment before seemingly giving in, closing her mouth and only giving Maeve another sharp look. And that was that.

~

Maeve started her school day off by meeting with the vice-principal, a woman called Mrs Schuyler. She explained the rules of the school, which classes Maeve was required to take and which ones were electables, how to navigate the buildings, all that jazz.

"Here's a list of your classes, we also got you a tutor to get you caught up on the things you missed. You're meeting her tomorrow.", She eventually finished, giving Maeve a wide smile. She seemed nice but Maeve had met lots of teachers that seemed nice. It rarely held up for long.

"Alright.", She nodded, taking all the materials that were handed to her and packing them into her backpack.

Then her first day of school in two years properly started. The school was huge, it was somehow bigger than any school she had ever been to but also had less students. The classes were smaller, the teachers less cynical and overall everything looked so fucking expensive that Maeve felt entirely out of place.

But as different as it was to all the previous schools Maeve had been to, her problems in class were still the same. It just solidified that Maeve was the issue.

She had missed two years of curriculum. Algebra, history, english lit, physics, biology, so on and so forth. She missed it all, which was already a big enough issue.

On top of that she also had to deal with her eternal struggle of not being able to read what was on the board. She had this problem for as long as she could think. It was just too blurry, no matter how far in the front she sat.

Her technique with dealing with it just became writing down everything that was said in class to make sure that she didn't miss anything. It was difficult to do because Maeve couldn't always focus on the teachers voice when there were other distractions in the room and it also ment that she wasn't really listening to what was being said. She was just focused on writing all the words down.

And sure, it was stressful and exhausting but it was the only way Maeve knew how to do it. And, yeah, she always got worse grades for not participating in class. And teacher would tell her foster parents that she was inattentive because it didn't seem like she was listening. And she couldn't ask questions if she didn't understand something. And she basically just had her transcripts to study off of. But it was the only way that didn't make Maeve fail entirely.

Over the years Maeve got better at it. She was an incredibly fast writer for one. And she had her own system of acronyms now. But after two years she was a little out of practice so by the time she arrived at her last class she was fucking tired.

"Hey, I'm Maeve Adams... According to my schedule I have art-history here?", she asked the teacher, a young woman with spiky red hair and big green eyes.

"Ahh, yes... You're our new student. You can call me Mrs Calla. Now take a seat please.",the woman explained with a smile before pointing towards the classroom.

Maeve looked through the seats that were slowly filling up until she spotted Charlie and Sydney in the last row. They had an empty desk between them and Charlie grinned at her before pointing at it.

Maeve went over to them, taking a seat between them and getting her college block out in preparation for her last class of the day.

Mrs Calla started the class, apparently they were talking about cubism right now. Maeve had no idea about different art periods and it didn't seem all that logical to start with an art style from the 20th century but Maeve couldn't do anything about that at the moment so she just got to scripting.

"Hey, Mae. ", Charlie whispered at some point and she glanced over, her focus wavering.

"Mae? ", She whispered back and Charlie grinned at her, clearly satisfied.

"Yeah, I can do nicknames, too. ", He stated and Maeve raised her eyebrows. She never had a nickname before. She didn't want to admit that she liked it.

"Charles is not a nickname. It's your actual full name. ", She pointed out instead.

"Details.", Charlie shrugged, looking towards the teacher again.

"Can you two shut up? I'm trying to learn about cubism.", Sydney hissed beside Maeve and Charlie just rolled with his eyes but Maeve was secretly glad that she interrupted them. She liked talking to Charlie but she really couldn't afford to be inattentive.

The class went about as well as any other class Maeve had that day. She wrote down everything that was said without really retaining any of it. By the end she had a headache.

Mrs Calla finished the lesson and they all started to pack their things. But apparently Maeve wasn't done yet. "Maeve, I need to talk to you for a moment.", Mrs Calla called out and Maeve felt her heart sink.

"Are you in trouble already?", Charlie smirked and Maeve knew that he was just kidding but she couldn't produce a smile right now.

"Fuck you. ", She only hissed out before walking up to Mrs Calla.

The teacher offered her a seat across from her desk and they waited until all the other students left. Then she folded her hands and gave Maeve one of these earnest, worried looks. She hated those.

"I noticed that you weren't paying attention in class today and since this is your first lesson-", Mrs Calla then started to speak but she didn't get very far.

"I was paying attention, though.", Maeve interject, regretting it immediately. Teachers usually didn't like it when you talked back at them.

"You didn't look like you were. Show me your notes. ",Mrs Calla said and she didn't sound like she was upset with Maeve but Maeve couldn't rely on that. Reluctantly she reached into her bag and pulled the college block out, handing it to her.

She started to page through Maeve's notes and her face morphed into an expression of total bafflement. "Thats everything I said, like, word for word...", she then stated, looking up at Maeve again.

"I'm a fast writer. ", Maeve shrugged uncomfortably. This was embarrassing, she normally didn't let people know about how hard this all was for her.

"Yeah but you also wrote down every word of my little anecdote about my wacky professor in art school.", Mrs Calla said, reading through page 3.

"I was just making sure that I didn't miss anything important.", Maeve replied. She couldn't even really remember that anecdote.

"Why not just copy what I wrote on the white board?", Mrs Calla asked and once again it didn't sound like an accusation. She just seemed genuinely confused.

"It's easier that way.", Maeve shrugged, even though it definitely wasn't.

"Is it?", Mrs Calla asked, her eyebrows pulled together into a frown.

"Yes!", Maeve exclaimed before quicky forcing herself to calm down again. Freaking out on the teacher would make everything worse.

"Maeve, these are 5 pages of transcripts!", Mary Calla pointed out, paging through the pages and showing them to Maeve as if she hadn't written them herself.

"It's easier for me. ", Maeve said and she hated how desperate her voice sounded. She really wanted this to be over.

Mrs Calla didn't say anything for a moment. She just looked at Maeve, then at her notes and lastly at the whiteboard.

"Maeve. What does it say on the board?", She then asked her and she asked it in that voice that people use when they already know that you can't reply.

Maeve looked to the whiteboard, she narrowed her eyes and leaner forward a bit but it was no use. All she saw were blurry black blotches on a white board. Like always.

"This is ridiculous! ", Maeve finally exclaimed, clearly defensive but she couldn't play it off better. She crossed her arms, leaning back in her chair, diverting her eyes. She was fucking this up, that's what always happened. And then Mrs Calla would call Spencer and he'd think that Maeve was just an _attention seeking idiot, trying to make excuses for being too dumb._

"Maeve, do you usually wear glasses?", Mrs Calla asked, her voice gentle.

Maeve didn't look up at her. She studied the pattern in the wood of Mrs Calla's desk, instead. "No?", She replied but she could tell that she wasn't being convincing at all.

Maeve wasn't stupid, she knew that she was probably short sighted. But just like with most things, Maeve learned that nobody gave a fuck and that she just had to work around it.

"Well, I think you should get that checked out, I think you might be short sighted.", Mrs Calla explained and Maeve couldn't resist the urge to roll with her eyes.

"Mrs Calla... I appreciate your concern but I'm fine-", Maeve sighed, looking up at her. She wanted to reach for her notes but Mrs Calla was flipping through all her notes of the day now.

"Did you transcribe all of your classes?", She asked, sounding downright shocked now.

"And what about it?!", Maeve shrieked before catching herself again. "Sorry. ", She mumbled, looking down to her lap again.

"It's okay. ", Mrs Calla replied, her voice soft. Maeve didn't trust it. "Maeve. Why not get your eyes checked out just in case?", She then asked.

Maeve didn't reply. Getting it checked out ment that she'd have to tell Spencer about it. And that ment that she'd have to admit that she needed help. And then she'd be a burden-

"You're Dr Reid's kid, aren't you?", Mrs Calla asked, yanking Maeve out of her spiraling thoughts.

"Don't tell him!", She gasped out, looking up at Mrs Calla, her eyes wide, her heart racing.

Mrs Calla looked alarmed, but only for a moment. Then she composed herself again. "Maeve, you have nothing to worry about. Lots of people wear glasses.", She explained and Maeve could tell that she was trying to calm her down. It wasn't working though. 

"I don't need glasses!", Maeve insisted.

"Then you have nothing to worry about.",Mrs Calla argued.

"You're not gonna let this go, will you?", Maeve sighed, rubbing her hands over her face.

"I'm just trying to make your school day easier. ", Mrs Calla told her, sounding sympathetic and caring. Maeve hated it. It wasn't real.

"My school day is fine.", Maeve mumbled, even though it wasn't, even though it never had been.

"I'm going to talk to your father.", Mrs Calla said and Maeve felt something tighten in her chest. This was going to happen and Spencer would be so mad and Maeve would deserve it and-

"Fine. Am I dismissed?", she asked, giving it up.

"Yes.", Mrs Calla nodded and Maeve didn't wait for her to change her mind. She just grabbed her notes, her bag and stormed outside.

Charlie was waiting for her out in the hallway. "What did you get held back for?", He asked her and this time it didn't even seem like he was trying to be humorous.

"Nothing!", Maeve spat. She couldn't cool down, her hands were shaking, her eyes were watering and she felt like she was about to sob. But she was not about to admit that.

"Okay... Nevermind.", Charlie mumbled, following close behind her.

~

"Maeve?", Spencer asked, knocking against Maeve's open bedroom door. She spend the last two hours reading through her notes while trying to not think about Spencer coming upstairs to talk to her.

"Yes?", She asked, spinning around on her desk chair to face him. Maeve attempted to smile to hide the dread she was filled with.

"How was your first day?", Spencer asked, leaning against the door frame. It would be an innocent question if Maeve wasn't aware that Mrs Calla probably already told Spencer about today.

"Good? I think. Completely normal. ", She replied, still holding onto the lie in case that could get her off easy.

"Yes?", Spencer asked, cocking his head to one side.

"Yeah. ", Maeve nodded.

"Your art history teacher called-", Spencer finally admitted and Maeve's heart skipped a beat.

"She's lying! I'm fine! I don't need glasses!", she exclaimed desperately before promptly realizing that blowing up like this really didn't help her case.

"Why so aggressive?", Spencer asked, not sounding upset. Maeve tried to get a read on him but reading Spencer was hard. He had a good poker face, a professional one.

"I'm not aggressive.", Maeve returned, trying to calm down. It was hard, though. She was in trouble and she didn't know yet how Spencer would react.

For a while he didn't say anything, neither of them did. They just stared at each other, waiting for the other one to make their next move, they were both pretty good at that. Eventually Spencer gave in.

"Maeve, I'm having your eyes tested.", Spencer finally said and the dread just got worse and worse. It made it hard to breath, hard to keep it together.

"Thats so unnecessary. My eyes are fine.", She said but her voice had gotten faint, she had diverted her eyes.

She could feel Spencer's eyes on her. Then he suddenly came striding in and Maeve already braced herself for a punch or a shove but it didn't come.

"What does it say on this paper?", He asked instead and when Maeve looked up he was holding one of her notes in front of her face. Spencer was still a few feet away. There was no way that she'd be able to read it. So she just started reciting what she remembered to have written.

"Cubism was a revolutionary new approach to representing reality invented in around 1907–08 by artists Pablo Picasso and Georges Braque. They brought different views of subjects together in the same picture, resulting in paintings that appear fragmented and abstracted-", she started to ramble, moving her eyes as if she was reading.

"Did you memorize it?", Spencer interrupted her.

"No, I'm reading.", She lied. Which obviously didn't work out.

"No, you're not, because everything you just said is written on the backside. Pretty impressive but it doesn't mean that your eyes properly work. ", Spencer said, handing Maeve the paper back. He still didn't seem mad which in turn only made Maeve more anxious. This wasn't going as expected, which ment that she didn't know what was going on, which ment that she was completely out of control.

"It's no big deal. ", She mumbled, lowering her eyes and starting to sort her notes back into order.

"Maeve, since when can't you read what's on the white board?", Spencer asked after another beat of silence.

"Kind of always? I don't know?", Maeve finally confessed. There wasn't really a point in lying anymore, now she just wanted to get through the disappointment-part.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?",Spencer asked and there was still no rage there, no disappointment. Maeve didn't dare look up at him.

"I did. Once. And my foster mother at the time told me that I was an attention seeking idiot, trying to make excuses for being too dumb. So I didn't bring it up again.", Maeve admitted after a long moment of silence. She still couldn't look up, she was still too scared.

She didn't have to. Spencer crouched down in front of her until he got her to look at him again. Maeve did. Spencer didn't look mad and Maeve didn't understand.

"Well, there's nothing dumb or attention seeking about needing glasses.", he then said and for a moment Maeve was afraid that he was mocking her. But he wasn't done yet. "To be honest, you probably got this from me.", He added.

"You don't wear glasses. ", Maeve pointed out, surprised.

"Because I wear contacts, they're better when you're in the field. ", Spencer replied, reaching into his eye and shifting one of the contacts around to show her. Once he was done he blinked a couple of times before looking at Maeve again and now she could finally tell what that look on his face was. It was sympathy.

"I'll make an appointment for you.", he then announced and a part of Maeve was still scared even though she knew that she was probably being irrational. But she was mostly just tired of transcribing all her classes so she just nodded along.

"Okay. "

"Also this... All of you transcripts...", Spencer said, getting up again and looking down at Maeve's notes. "They're pretty impressive".

"It's nothing.", She shrugged.

"Do you remember everything you hear or do you memorize it when you read it?", Spencer asked her, seeming genuinely interested.

"If someone tells me something and I pay attention, yeah. Paying attention is hard, though. My mind... wanders. But when I'm listening or reading it, I usually remember it all.", She explained before looking up at Spencer. " But doesn't everyone?", She then asked.

Spencer smiled at her and Maeve once again had no idea why or what to do with that. "No they don't.", he replied.


	13. Not for your eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I just wanted to say that updates might stay a little slow for the next couple of weeks because I'm studying for my finals. 
> 
> Also, there's a huge warning for severe child abuse and thoughts of suicide. It's not all that graphic because Reid is just reading about it in Maeve's notepad but I still wanted to warn you.

"Is this a joke?", Sydney asked seconds after stepping foot into an empty classroom and finding Maeve sitting there, all by herself.

Maeve's second day of school came and went by without anything noteworthy happening. She was still transcribing all her classes since the earliest appointment Reid could get for her was this afternoon. They'd go there after school but for now she had to meet with her tutor, which apparently was Sydney. "Hello to you, too, Sydney.", she greeted her with a smile.

Sydney gave her an icy look, her eyebrows pulled into a frown, her lips pinched together. Maeve found it pretty unfair how pretty she was in spite of looking annoyed as hell. "I'm supposed to tutor someone here.", she stated, still trying to find a way out of this situation.

"Yes, me.", Maeve nodded, not giving her an out. "What? You didn't expect the one new transfer student your school has, to be the person that you're tutoring", she then asked, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow.

Sydney rolled with her eyes, immediately fed up with Maeve. "No. I figured that Spencer Reid's daughter wouldn't need that.", she replied pointedly and Maeve tried not to take it to heart. She knew that she was disappointing in pretty much every way possible. Didn't mean that she like to be reminded of that.

"Well, you've been mistaken. I'm dumb as fuck, so you have your work cut out for you.", Maeve replied, putting on a sickly sweet smile. Just because she was hurt didn't mean that she had to give Sydney the satisfaction of knowing that.

Sydney looked at her for a moment longer, then she glanced at the door as if she contemplated just leaving. Eventually she gave in and sat down across from Maeve, pulling out her binder. "Fine. Let's get this over with, what exactly are you struggling with?", she asked, paging through her own notes.

"Just about everything.", Maeve replied with a grin. It wasn't entirely true since she mostly just struggled with math and science stuff since she was missing a lot of basics in those subjects but she found enormous joy in annoying Sydney.

The other girl gave her a suffering expression before letting out a sigh. "Great.", she mumbled under her breath before starting with physics.

About an hour later Maeve had brought Sydney to the brink of insanity. She didn't even have to try, her own ignorance was doing all the work for her. Sydney, who turned out to be, not only a ballerina but also STEM-freak, just couldn't comprehend that Maeve seemingly never heard of the mere basics of physics. "I don't get it!", she eventually snapped and Maeve had to surpress a chuckle.

Sydney had lost a whole lot of her composure during the course of their first tutoring session. Her long blond hair wasn't flowing down her shoulders elegantly anymore, she had tied it up into a messy bun that had several strands falling out and was getting held up by one hairtie and a pencil that Sydney seemed to have forgotten about. She had rolled up the sleeves of her blouse and her mascara was a little smudged from her rubbing at her eyes absentmindedly. She wasn't as perfect anymore and Maeve was surprised at how much more likable she was that way. She seemed more real, more human. Maeve preferred honesty over perfection, even if that honesty came in form of a fuming genius, yelling at her for not understanding physics.

"That's my line-", Maeve remarked sarcastically but Sydney wouldn't even let her finish.

"Oh shut it! What exactly did you learn in the last two years because it feel like you just stepped foot into high school for the first time! You're missing large chunks of curriculum! Did you just not pay attention to anything ever?!", Sydney asked, beyond frustrated now.

It seemed like she was personally offended that Maeve was so bad at this. Maeve had noticed that a few times before. She had been to a lot of schools over the years and every once in a while there would be a kid that would just be so obsessed with academics and being the best at everything that the thought of someone not caring at all about school and being unapologeticly bad at it was like a personal attack on them. Being successful was the most important thing to them and they couldn't understand that not everyone was like that.

Maeve wasn't sure why but people like that always made her sad. It seemed like their entire self esteem depended on them being the best which couldn't be an easy way of living. Then again, Maeve didn't really have room to judge since her entire self esteem depended on how people treated her, which wasn't all that well normally.

"It's not that cut and dry, you know.", she simply remarked. Hoping that Sydney would just let it go. Maeve didn't want to get into why she was so bad at everything but she also knew that if Sydney contiued to ask she'd defend herself.

"Explain it then?! Didn't your dad go to college at 12? Aren't people supposed to inherit that sort of thing?!", Sydney asked and Maeve had already noticed that Sydney was a big fan of Spencer's. That didn't mean that Maeve enjoyed being reminded how differnt she was.

"I never went to High school.", she shrugged and there it was. She knew that something like this would slip out eventually. Maeve was bad at keeping her mouth shut when someone was attacking her. Especially when it concerned her intelligence.

"That's impossible, you couldn't have skipped out on two years of school-", Sydney returned, rolling with her eyes as if she was annoyed with Maeve, as if she didn't believe her. Maeve hated how much that ticked her off.

"I spend the last two years locked up in a closet.", she added, cutting Sydney off before she could even finish her dismissive comment. The other girl froze her eyes widening a fraction as she processed Maeve's words and what they implied.

"What-?", she gasped out and Maeve could've left it at that but for some reason she had an extra short fuse when it came to Sydney and the other girl had fired her up.

"My psycho mother's girlfriend kidnapped me two years ago and I only got away from her last week. So, yeah, I missed out on a lot of stuff, but I didn't exactly have a choice, did I?", she asked, keeping her voice controlled but still harsh. "I'm sorry if that fucking bothers you. If you can't bare the thought of tutoring such a disappointing idiot then fuck off, I'll figure it out myself.", she then added, before grabbing the schoolbook between them and bending over it to read the text again.

She wasn't really reading though, her mind was too restless, racing in cirles, the words blurred in front of her eyes. Sydney got up and for a moment Maeve thought she'd just leave. Maybe Sydney was planning on leaving, too. She didn't, though. She just stood there, watching Maeve. "How can you even read that close up?", She eventually asked.

"Apparently I'm very fucking short sighted and that's the only way I can read at all.", Maeve replied, her tone sharper than intended. Sydney didn't add anything to that but she wouldn't leave either. "Are you just going to stand there and stare at me? I'm not a fucking zoo-animal, you know?", Maeve eventually snapped, looking up at her again.

To her surprise Sydney didn't look annoyed or angry or exasperated anymore. Maeve had no idea what Sydney's face was doing, she hadn't seen thid expression on her befor, but for the first time it didn't seem to be explicitly negative. "No, I'm going to help you.", She eventually stated before sitting down again, paging through her physics book.

Maeve could only stare at her for a moment. She hadn't expected that. Maeve had been pretty sure that Sydney hated her. She didn't know why but that hardly mattered, nobody else ever really needed a reason. And with Sydney it hadn't just been an assumption, it was based on how Sydney treated her. But maybe she had been wrong. Maybe Sydney didn't despise her as much as she assumed.

"I'm sorry for beeing an asshole.", Sydney then mumbled and this time Maeve was sure that she had to have misheard that.

"What?", Maeve asked, raising her eyebrows in disbelief.

Sydney looked up at her, her expression blank again, neither good nor bad. "You heard me, I'm not repeating myself. Now let's get back into physics.", She ordered so that's what they did. Now that Sydney knew that Maeve was missing all the basics they stopped working on the current curriculum and went back to the stuff Maeve should've learned freshmen and sophomore year which made a whole lot more sense to her. Sydney still wasn't all that patient with her but at least she stopped accusing Maeve of not trying hard enough. This way they finally started to make some progress and by the time their time was up Maeve felt like both of them didn't feel like ripping each others heads off which was an improvement.

When they stepped out onto the hallway together they were greeted by Ely and Charlie.

"Look at you! You didn't kill each other!", Ely grinned before looking over at Charlie with a mischievous look in his eyes. "You owe me 10 bucks."

The other boy pulled a bill out of his wallet, handing it to Ely, rolling with his eyes.

"You knew that Sydney was tutoring me?", Maeve asked crossing her arms.

"Yeah and we contemplated telling you but then Ely figured that it would be more fun if we didn't.", Charlie explained with a shrug.

" And it worked out, didn't it?",Ely smiled at both of them, looking as bright as the fucking sun.

"Barely.", Sydney stated, her tone icy.

"Barely is still good enough for me.", Ely shrugged, not impressed by her cold demeanor. He just slung his arm around Sydney's shoulder, leading her towards the exit and Maeve was surprised to see Sydney actually lean into his touch and wrap her arm around his back too.

"Good to see that you've survived the dragon. ", Charlie commented, pulling Maeve's attention back towards him.

She fell into step next to him as they followed Ely and Sydney outside.

"Which one is she now? Dragon or Ice queen?", Maeve asked, feigning curiousity.

"Both, in the best way possible.", He eventually claimed. "But don't tell her I said that.", He then added as they stepped outside into the sunlight. "Anyways, when it comes to art I would probably be more helpful than Syd. Sorry to say it but when I see her art I feel like she has no fine-motor skills-", his art rant got cut short when a red Ferrari suddenly pulled up in front of them in the school parking lot.

The car was driven by a middle aged man with an aggressive tan and unnaturally white teeth but Maeve didn't pay much attention to him. The woman in the passenger seat was much more interesting. She didn't look much older than 40, had long golden hair, big green eyes and features as sharp as Charlie's.  
"Charlie-baby!", She screeched, grinning at them with her pearl white smile.

"Oh great.", Ely mumbled, his good mood immediately gone and Maeve felt Charlie tense up next to him.

"Who is that?", Maeve asked, even though she was pretty sure she knew the answer already.

"My mom. ", Charlie replied, not looking at Maeve, his voice hollow. Obviously. Their resemblance was uncanny.

"We thought we'd surprise you! Take you shopping with us? We missed you baby!", The woman called out cheerily, seemingly blind to how rattled her son was by her appearance. Maeve didn't know much about Charlie's relationship with his mom. Only that she just decided to go on a vacation without telling her son or leaving any money for him to take care of himself. Maeve didn't have a lot of good examples for motherhood but she was pretty sure that Charlie's mom wasn't up there either.

"See you tomorrow.", Charlie then said, surprising Maeve. She hadn't expected him to actually go with her.

"Wait, you're going with her? All your stuff is still at Spencer's.", She protested. His mother wasn't even listening anymore, she was bickering with her man in the car.

The expression Charlie gave Maeve was as empty as his voice. She hadn't seen him like this before. It was startling.

"Yeah, Ely can bring my things to school tomorrow. ", He only shrugged before saying goodbye to both Ely and Sydney. Then he turned on his heels and climbed into the back of the car before it promptly drove off.

"Why do I feel like this is bad news?", Maeve mumbled more to herself than anyone else but Sydney seemed to hear her, glancing over at her.

"Because it is."

~

"Negative 3.5 diopters!", Reid exclaimed as he and Maeve made their way into an optician. They just finished their appointment at the ophthalmologist where they got the confirmation that Maeve was pretty near sighted indeed and now they were planning on picking out a pair of glasses for her.

"It's not that bad!", She protested, rolling with her eyes.

"I only have negative 2.75 and I already feel blind as a bat without contacts.",Spencer argued.

"Bats aren't actually blind.", Maeve corrected and Spencer couldn't explain why he got irrationally happy when Maeve said things like that. Maybe because it reminded him of himself.

"Yes I know, it's a figure of speech. But that's besides the point.", He waved her off.

"Which is?", The girl asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm impressed with how well you've been doing despite being legally blind for most of your life.", He explained as the walked from row to row of glasses that were displayed in the store.

"Yeah, I've been doing so well, I'm the poster child for a well adjusted 16-year-old.", Maeve smirked sarcastically. " Also, I'm not legally blind, whatever that means.", She added.

"Well, maybe not because it only applies if you have distance visualacuity less than 20/200 that is not correctable with glasses or contact lenses. But since you've never had any corrective aids before that means that you've been walking around basically blind. ", Reid explained before picking out a pair of round-ish glasses with a thick brown rim. "How about these ones?", He asked, handing them to Maeve.

She put them on and took a look at herself in the closest mirror. She got pretty close to it to get a good look and Reid wondered how he hadn't noticed this before.

"Too thick, I don't like it. ", She eventually said, pulling them off and handing them back to Reid who put them away.

"I still remember when I got my first glasses, I was very surprised that the trees actually had leaves. I was four and since I had never seen them before I thought they were a myth.", Reid explained, a gentle smile on his lips.

Maeve stopped in her tracks to stare at him with wide eyes. "What do you mean, trees have leaves?", She then asked.

"Uhm...", Reid breathed out but then a smile spread on Maeve's lips.

"I'm kidding!", She quickly clarified and now Reid was back to grinning, too.

"Oh okay!"

They continued to work their way through all their options, making jokes about them, keeping it light.

"How about these?", Reid would ask and Maeve would try them on.

"I look like a female Harry Potter.", She said when she tried the round wireframes.

"Yes, you kind of do.", Reid stated, cocking his head to one side as he regarded her. "Is that the desired look?"

"We'll put them in the maybe-pile.", Maeve shrugged before pulling them off.

"These ones?", She asked, putting on a different pair of pilot shaped glasses.

"I don't know. They make your eyes look sad. ", Reid pointed out, taking a closer look at her face.

"How so?"

"They make them look more droopy. ", Spencer explained and Maeve turned away from him to stare at herself in the mirror a bit longer.

"Yeah, now I see it, too.", She sighed, talking them off.

"And these?", She asked with a chuckle, putting on a particularly flamboyant pair of pink cat eye glasses.

Reid stiffled his laughter, trying to keep it together even though Maeve looked quite silly with them. "They hold a very strong resemblance to a pair my aunt Ethel used to wear.", He commented.

"I don't know what to tell you, your aunt had style.", Maeve shrugged with a grin, talking them off.

In the end Maeve chose a pair of round-ish black wireframes and they ordered them with her prescription. Afterwards they went out for dinner and Reid wished that each day could be like this. That he could just spend every day spending time with his daughter, joking with her, making her laugh.

~

That evening Reid was feeling brave. Because it had been a good day for Maeve. And a good day for Maeve ment less worries for him. So he finally brought up the courage to read the notepad.

He had avoided it for as long as he could because he knew whatever would be in there would change things even more. He knew that Cat was a monster, he knew that whatever was in this notepad would be bad, and so far he just hadn't been ready to read it. That evening he forced himself through it.

It was difficult to get through, not only because he needed some time to adjust to reading in her code, but also because the notes weren't chronological. Maeve had filled every inch of paper with writing and there was no way to distinguish by the order of the paragraphs when she wrote which parts

He was somewhat able to sort them based on her mental state, which wasn't good but even then he couldn't be sure when she wrote what.

Still, as much as Reid tried to categories and compartmentalize what he was reading, he couldn't distract himself from the fact that he was reading a first-person documentation of his daughter's deteriorating mental state.

_"I like being alone. No... I don't. I like it when there is no pain. And that's all that other people bring. So it's better to be isolated. "_

_"Nadia ignores me most days now. I know the sound her steps by heart, I can tell when she's coming towards the closet or when she's just walking by. "_

_"She forgets to feed me sometimes. When she does, I ration my food in case there won't be any for a while. Last week I thought I'd die, she didn't open the door. The water was all gone and so was the food, I thought that she had forgotten about me completely. I thought I'd die. I didn't mind it."_

_"Sometimes I wish for her to forget about me entirely. I want to be gone from her mind and gone from here."_

_"I'm stuck between hunger and sleep."_

_"Nadia left the door open last night. She was drunk and angry and I think she forgot. I think she didn't believe that I could get up again."_

_"I wanted to take it all. Eat all the food in the kitchen, get as much as I can before she wakes up. But she'd notice it if too much went missing. She'd notice and she'd punish me and the food is just not worth it."_

_"I think about Jamie sometimes. I hope he's okay. I hope he found a nice family."_

_"I wish I knew if Jamie is still with him. If someone finally noticed."_

_"Sometimes I want to hate him. I wonder if I'd be stuck here if it weren't for Jamie. But I can't blame him. It wasn't his fault."_

_"Nadia gave me letters from her. Cat. My mother. I spend years wondering who she was. Now I wish I had never known."_

_"Nadia caught me stealing her food. I don't know what's worse, starving or her fingers down my throat."_

_"Spencer Reid. That's the name of my father. Cat said that he doesn't want anything to do with me. That he tried to kill her when he heard that she was pregnant with me. Part of me gets it, because who would want a child that was forced onto you. But part of me hates him, too. I didn't ask for this, I didn't ask to be made. "_

_"Nadia is nice when I do what she wants. Or... not nice but bearable. She wants to hear me praise Cat. She wants me to be like her. I can do that. I can learn to be her and then she won't hurt me."_

_"I can be Cat, I can be her. She's my mother and I can become her. Cold and calculated. Nothing can hurt me, I'm her daughter and nothing can hurt me."_

_"Nadia wants me to be Cat for her, she wants me to be good. Sometimes she calls me by her name. Sometimes she nice, loving, is okay when I'm good. I know it's wrong but it's better than the alternative. I can make it good. I can be who she needs me to be."_

_"I don't know who to blame. Everything hurts and it's my fault. It has to be, right? This isn't normal, is it? Normal people don't feel like this. I want to blame Cat. I want to blame Nadia, I want to blame Reid. Cat wants that, too. She wants me to hate him. As much as she hates him. I can do that if it means less pain. I can be good. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I promise."_

_"Cat says she loves me. She's lying. Cat doesn't love anyone. Nadia doesn't see that. She loves Cat too much to see that Cat is using her as much as she's using me. But I'm not gonna tell her that. She won't believe me and it'll only bring more problems. Cat says she loves me but she doesn't. Because she can't love and I'm unlovable."_

_"The door is unlocked and I think about running. I get up but then I freeze. I don't know if Nadia is just reckless or if she thinks that I'm loyal to Cat now, loyal to her. I don't know the answer to that either. Am I loyal to her? I hate Cat, but I stick around. Why? Because I know the rules now. I know how to be good. Be invisable. Only speak when spoken too. Love Cat, hate Reid. Be cold, be calculating. Don't show weakness. Don't cry. Laugh. Cover it up and laugh. Make yourself poisonous and that will make them proud. Don't expect mercy or kindness because it doesn't exist. Love Cat, hate Reid."_

_"I think about dying sometimes. I'm not planning on it. It's more abstract. I just can't imagine myself being alive, so I must be dead. Maybe I have died already. Maybe I starved and now I'm in hell. Maybe that's why I feel so fractured. I'm not making any sense to myself. Nothing is real. Not even me."_

_'I hate my father. I hate him and I don't know anymore if it's because I was told that I should or because I actually do. Nadia told that me that he has a wife and a son. She told me that he's happy. I want to tear his life to pieces, I want to burn it all down, I want him to feel what I feel. Or maybe I just want him to look at me and feel bad. I don't know if he would, if he'd care at all. Nobody ever really has."_

In the end Reid has to put the notepad down with shaky hands, his face was damp with the tears running down his cheeks, his throat felt tight.

Reid had questions, sure. Mainly about who Jamie was, he got mentioned several times. But he couldn't form any of these questions entirely, not even in his mind.

All he could think about was his daughter, only 14, 15, 16 years old, locked in a tiny room, starving, loosing and erasing herself in order to survive. Giving up and giving in because she had no other choice. It was horrifying and reading it was so much worse than just imagining what it must've been like.

For the next hour he just sat there in his office chair, staring at the notepad, at all the pain contained in it's pages.

He caught his mind wandering to the same place he went to whenever they had an exceptionally gnarly case where the victim made it out alive. He caught himself thinking:"How did she survive this?"

And then he started to run through the statistics and probabilities of her survival, how high the chances had been that she wouldn't have made it out, that he never got to meet her and from there he just started to spiral uncontrollably because he could've helped if he had been there.

He should've been there. But he wasn't.

And Maeve paid for it.   
  



	14. Good things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: mentions of child abuse but nothing graphic

"Have you checked the prison records?", Reid asked Poe. Now that Maeve was in school he could return to his job and to the investigation. Their current lead was Sabine, the woman Nadia talked to on the phone in Maeve's memories. They were trying to identify her.

"Yes I did, twice. For the entire duration that both of them were incarcerated. There is no Sabine.", Poe sighed, spinning in his chair and staring at the ceiling. Needless to say, they weren't all that successful thus far.

"Have you tried other related names?", Reid tried and Poe stopped spinning to give him a deadpan look.

"Who do you think I am, old man? I tried Sabina, Savine, Sabi, Bibi, Bine, Bina, every variation you can think of. Whoever this mystery woman is, they didn't meet in prison. ", he stated before grabbing a hold of his coffee mug on the conference table and taking a big gulp out of it. Poe generally didn't look like he slept but right now he was extra on edge.

"That would've been too easy anyways. Maybe she's a contact that Cat had before she went to prison. ", JJ suggested and Poe pointed at her before setting down his mug again.

"That's what I thought, too. So I started digging through her past but there is very little know about her after the age of 18. I did look through her records from her foster-care days becaus I thought there might be a slight chance that Sabine was a former foster sister but that came up dry, too.", the younger man explained and Reid felt his heart sink. It felt like they were chasing shadows.

"Have you checked if Sabine is a guard and not a convict? We've missed that connection in the past and they did have Graham on their side.", Emily asked. Reid was thankful for her presence. She wasn't really involved in BAU cases anymore. She had too much on her plate as FBI director. But she always took the time when it was something personal.

"It's like you still don't trust me to be able to do my job.", Poe rolled with his eyes. The younger man had issues with beeing underestimated since he was by far the youngest on the team. Reid could still remember what that used to be like.

"So that's a no?", JJ asked, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow.

"No. ", Poe nodded and Reid let out a sigh before dropping his face into his hands, rubbing at his eyes.

"Great, so we have nothing. ", he mumbled, looking back up at the other three.

"Not yet. I'm gonna look more into Nadia and Graham now, see if I can find a connection there. She can't just be a ghost.", Poe announced before getting up from his chair and grabbing his coffee. "Now I gotta get back to my bat-cave, b-bye!", he added before rushing out.

They all watched him leave until the door fell close behind him. Then JJ and Emily's attention returned to Reid. Reid could feel their eyes on him, he knew that they'd ask before they even opened their mouths. Even now, even decades later, they still worried about him.

JJ was the first one to ask. "How are you doing? How is Maeve?"

Reid lifted his head, brushing his hair back with both his hands before rubbing at his neck. "She's... she's a lot. Not in a bad way. She's great. I'm pretty sure that most of her behavior when we frist got her was an act. She's smart, funny, respectful even.", he explained and he saw Emily pull a surprised expression. "Yeah I know, it's shocking.", he added.

"Why do I sense a 'but' here?", Emily asked. Because there was one, always. Nothing ever came easy.

"But Cat and Nadia did a real number on her. Yesterday I read through her notepad. They basically brainwashed her and it's a miracle that she is as okay as she is, which isn't okay at all. It's.. it's sick and awful and twisted and I feel horrible because I'm her father! I should've prevented this but I didn't! And now I feel like I learn a new awful thing that happened to her every day and it never stops and I don't know how to fix any of it!" It all just kind of spilled out of Reid. He hadn't talked to Maeve about the notepad yet, he hadn't talked to anyone. All he could do since he read it was go over the words again and again, pick them apart until they all just mixed together into one gigantic sea of guilt and now Reid was drowning in it.

"Poor kid.", JJ mumbled.

"Indeed.", Reid sighed before burying his face in his hands again. "I should've been there for her.", he said, more to himself than anyone else.

He felt someone touch his shoulder and when he looked up Emily was next to him, her expression sympathetic, her eyes gentle. "Hey, you're there now, and you're doing what you can.", she said softly.

JJ stepped next to her, taking Reid's hands in hers. "You're a great father Reid and you'll get her through this, you'll fix it. ", she added and Reid wanted to believe them, more than anything. Not for his sake but for Maeve's.

~

This afternoon after school Maeve curled up on the bed in her room with Reid's notebook. She had read through it once already but since Reid hadn't asked for it back yet she decided to read it again. It was fascinating, sad too, but mainly fascinating.

Maeve knew what Cat had done to Spencer, that she had framed him for murder and gotten him locked up for months, she knew that Cat did all that in an attempt to get Spencer to become more like her. It hadn't worked out in the long run but Maeve found that the Spencer that wrote this notebook must've been a very different person to the man she knew today.

_"There's a helplessness in here that causes people to do things they would never consider."_

_"Getting more and more intense. Got to fall deeper in to beat them."_

_"I feel less and less human each day, I don't know if it's because the guards treat us like animals or if it's because we treat each like that, too."_

_"I've lost friends before, but not like this, not in a box where I have no control. Or do I? "_

_"I'm starting to think like them, starting to survive like them. "_

_"I'm here because I made a choice. What if that means I don't get out alive?"_

_"Part of me wonders if I should've taken the deal, if I deserve to be here after what I just did. Then again it doesn't matter. I don't know if I'll ever get out anyways."_

_"Shaw said that we're all Psychopaths in here. That my only options are predator or prey. I never wanted to be either but now I feel like I don't have a choice. There doesn't seem to be any other way to survive."_

_"Tara is trying to get me to remember what happened in Mexico and all I can see is the blood on my hands. Rossi said that I'd never become like the other inmates. Now I wonder if I already have. If it might already be too late for me."_

_"They should all stay away from me. They have no idea what I am capable of."_

It was mainly about survival and guilt. About Spencer questioning if the things he did to stay alive were justified or if he was becoming something differnt, something worse. Something which there was no coming back from. These were all questions that Maeve knew quite intimately and it was comforting to know that Spencer had gone through something like this and still gotten out on top. It made him more human, more obtainable. It made Maeve feel like maybe she wasn't condemed either.

There was a knock on the door that pulled Maeve back to reality and when she put the book down she found Spencer leaning in her doorway. "Yes?", she asked, closing the notebook.

"Are you busy right now?", he asked and something about him seemed shifty, like he was hesitating. Whatever he was about to ask, he wasn't too happy about it which in turn put Maeve on edge.

"No. Why? What's up?", she asked, straightening her back and bracing herself for something bad.

"I wanted to talk to you about this.", Reid announced before showing her the notepad in his hand. Her notepad. Maeve's heart dropped.

"Oh- Have you read it?", she asked, her mouth dry all of a sudden. She tried real hard to not think about Spencer reading her notebook. She had agreed to it, sure, but that didn't mean that she wasn't afraid of his reaction. The words in that notepad weren't ment for anyone's eyes but her own.

"Yes.", Reid nodded. "How about you?", he then asked, pointing at the notebook in Maeve's hands.

"Yeah. I'm done, too.", she nodded before holding his notebook out to him. Reid took this as an invitation to come inside and he accepted his before handing Maeve her own. It was a small relief to have it back in her posession. She quickly hid it under her pillow before looking back at Spencer who had now taken a seat at the foot of the bed as well.

For a moment they were both silent, usure of what to say, how to begin this conversation, until Maeve couldn't take it anymore. "If this is about the part where I said that I wanted to burn down your life and tear it to pieces, I don't feel like that anymore. ", she quickly explained and to her surprise Spencer let out a startled laugh before quickly getting serious again.

"No, it's not about that. Even though I want you to know that I don't judge you for feeling like that. ", he replied a moment later and while it helped to calm Maeve a fraction, she still didn't believe that he was totally cool with it.

"I don't anymore!", she rushed to reassure him but Reid really didn't seem to mind.

"That's good, but... it would be okay if you were still mad at me. I'd understand.", he told her and Maeve didn't really know what to reply to that. She had been irrational in her hate towards him, what was there to understand?

"It wasn't your fault.", she mumbled, looking down at her hands.

Reid let out a long suffering sigh that got Maeve to look up at him again. He had diverted his eyes, too, looking out of the window now. "Yes it was. Part of it at least. I knew that Cat was pregnant and when she said that she lost the baby I believed her. Not necessarily because I wanted to but still. I didn't want to deal with her so I didn't check if she had given birth. And that's on me. I should've been there for you but I wasn't and you have every right to be mad at me."

When he looked back at Maeve there was something so sincere in his eyes, something so genuine that it hurt Maeve to look at. Because it felt real, his words felt real and Maeve wanted to believe them so badly but she was too terrified that this was all a massive joke or a trap, another lie, designed to rip her apart. So she looked away and changed the subject.

"What did you want to talk about?", she asked.

"Who is Jamie?", Reid asked and Maeve almost flinched at the mention of that name. She hadn't thought about Jamie in a while. That was on purpose. Thinking about him only made her irrationally angry. "You mentioned him a couple of times in there.", Reid added as if Maeve wasn't aware of that.

"He's a foster brother that I used to have.", she replied before swallowing. "In the home I was in before I got arrested. ", she then added.

"The one where you-", Reid started but he didn't need to finish the sentence. Maeve did that for him.

"Where I smashed up the car, yes."

"Why did you do it?", Reid asked and it didn't sound like an accusation. It sounded like he was genuinely asking. But Maeve genuinely didn't want to talk about that.

"Does it matter?"

"Yes. I feel like you don't get in trouble unless you have a good reason to. So I'd like to hear your reason.", Reid explained and Maeve couldn't help but to let out an annoyed groan. She knew that sooner or later they'd talk about that, too. She just would've preferred later, or never.

Still, there was no way around it so she opened that door in her memories that she usaully kept closed and started to talk.

"We were staying with this man. Lex Carrow. He was a total asshole but they usually are. A violent alcoholic and a narcissist, the whole nine yards. We'd usually just hide when he was on one of his rampages until he fell asleep. Besides, he was only ever really angry at me. I was the one that always messed everything up. I didn't clean the house before the social worker dropped by, I didn't do well in school and now my teachers wanted to talk to him, I was too loud, too messy, too clumsy. If I messed something up he'd let his anger out on me, but that was okay. I've had worse and at least he wasn't touching Jamie.", she explained and then an image flashed before her eyes, making her choke for a moment. Jamie, tiny with messy black hair and too large brown eyes. "He was only 7, you know. He was just a kid.", she whispered before continuing.

"Anyways. One day Jamie got send home eary because he was sick and I didn't manage to get off so I came home later than him. " That's were things became difficult, her throat felt like it was closing up and she needed to take another moment before going on.

"I still don't know what exactly he did wrong in Lex' eyes but when I came home Jamie was hiding in our room and he was crying and his lips were busted and he couldn't even tell me what happened and I just... I saw red. So I took the bat and destroyed the only thing Lex cared about. I knew that I was going to get into trouble but I though that if someone saw me acting out, if someone saw how angry and desperate I was, that they'd wonder why. That they'd check in and see that something was wrong. I thought someone might care. ", she tried to explain, bitterness seeping through her voice until her words dripped with it. She could still remember sitting in the back of the police car, thinking that surely someone would ask her, and then she'd tell them and get both her and Jamie out of there. She had been so fucking dumb.

"But when the police came Lex told them that I was violent and dangerous, that I attacked my foster brother and then his car and Jamie was too scared to disprove him and nobody cared what I said. ", she finished with a shrug, pushing the tears down and swallowing the lump in her throat.

She looked up at Spencer who stared at her with wide and horrified eyes, anxious for his reaction.

"Maeve, that's horrible.", he whispered and Maeve wanted to curl up and hide away.

"I know, I shouldn't have acted out like that and it was dumb and-", she started to apologize but then she got cut off by something that she never would've seen coming.

A hug.

Spencer was hugging her and Maeve didn't understand. Nobody had hugged her in... Years. She couldn't even remember the feeling. It was startling at first because touch often came with pain, but there was no pain right then.

"No. I'm sorry that nobody helped you. I'm so sorry.", Reid whispered and his voice cracked like he was about to cry and none of this made sense to Maeve.

"It's okay.", She mumbled, trying to comfort but not knowing how. Reid was still hugging her and Maeve didn't fight it. It wasn't that bad. Actually, it was kind of nice. He smelled nice and was warm and he didn't hold her too tight. If she moved away he'd probably let her go which was reassuring.

"No it's not and you don't have to pretend that it is.", He told her and she wasn't sure what it was. Maybe the tone of his voice or maybe the fact that she could feel his heart racing in his chest but Maeve actually believef him. For once she let herself have that.

"Okay. ", She whispered, allowing herself to melt a little and lean into his touch. Why fight something good? Good things were too rare anyways.

They stayed like that for a while, just leaning on each other. At some point Maeve wrapped her arms around him too and he started petting her head which was strangely comforting. Maeve didn't have any reference points but she decided that Spencer was a good hugger.

Once they seperated Maeve needed a second to compose herself. Once she had gathered herself again she shrugged. "So yeah, that's Jamie. I never had a chance to check on him after that. I don't know what happened to him after I was taken away. "

"I'll see if I can track him down somehow. What's his last name?", Reid then announced and Maeve definitely hadn't expected that.

"Davis. You would do that? ", She asked, in awe. She had long ago given up on ever seeing Jamie again. She didn't even really need to see him, he might not even really remember her all that well, but she just wanted to know if he was okay. If someone was taking care of him.

"I'll try. ", Spencer promised and once again, Maeve simply believed him.

"Thank you. ", She whispered, trying to blink away the burning in her eyes. "What about the other things that I wrote?", She then asked, just making sure that there wasn't something else that was unclear.

"What about them?"

"What do you think?"

Reid took a moment before answering that question, gathering his thoughts. When he did, he looked to Maeve again with the same level of kindness that he had displayed all along. It had been there all this time but Maeve had just refused to see it. "I think that you've been mistreated your whole life and that Nadia and Cat weren't any better. I think that you didn't deserve any of the things that they did to you and that you did whatever it took for you to survive. It's not your fault, doing what they want, letting them mold you into who they wanted you to be, these were things you had to do to stay alive and I'm glad that you did what was necessary. "

The tears were back and this time Maeve wasn't sure if she'd be able to hold them back. "I didn't know if you'd understand.", She whispered, her voice thick with emotion and cracking under the weight of it.

"I myself have done some things that I'm less than proud of in the name of survival.", Reid replied, looking down at his own notebook.

"Yeah, I read about it. "

"And do you think any less of me now?", He asked and Maeve only shook her head.

"See.", He said with a smile. A beat of silence followed.

"Can I hug you again?", Maeve asked in a moment of courage. She felt like maybe it was okay. Maybe Reid wouldn't reject her. The smile on his face was one of the best things she had ever seen.

"Yes of course.", He replied and then she was back in his arms. Maeve decided that this was good. And she needed to learn to enjoy good things. They were too rare.  
  
  



	15. Eggshell-fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I know I fell off the face of the earth for a bit but I definitely didn't give up on this story! I do have a lot more time now so I'm hoping to update this story more regularly again! I hope you enjoy this little chapter and leave done comments! Your nice messages are honestly the biggest motivation and they got me to continue this story so keep them coming!

The next few weeks went by without any major incidents. Maeve and Ely went to school, Max and Spencer went back to work and slowly they started to settle into a routine.

Maeve was weary of it, of course she was, but a part of her was really starting to enjoy it. Things were just simpler with the Reids. They didn't pressure her, didn't seem to expect anything of her that she couldn't give, didn't punish her for any mistakes she made.

School got way easier once Maeve was actually able to see. The first time she pulled on her round wireframes she needed to take a minute to silently freak out about how clear everything was, how sharp. How she could read the pricetags of the other glasses from several feet away even though they were tiny. How she could see every strand of hair when she looked in the mirror and every leaf on the trees outside. It was beautiful, she never knew how much she was actually missing.

So, yeah, school was much easier when she didn't have to transcribe every class. She continued meeting with Sydney twice a week to get her caught up on her classes. Sydney was still- pretty direct and brutally honest but she seemed to warm up to Maeve just a tiny bit.

Ely was Ely, meaning a total ray of sunshine, which Maeve still found pretty fucking bizarre.

For once in her life Maeve didn't have much to worry about. It was a foreign feeling. She lived life always waiting for the next catastrophe. Which was stressful, sure, but she had gotten used to it. And sure, she was acutely aware of her mother who was still out there, doing god knows what, but it was hard to stay constantly vigilant when you had a bed, a room to yourself, three square meals, as many snacks as you can eat and the constant support of genuinely nice people.

Maeve let herself go a little. She eased up, just a tiny bit. She didn't wake up every morning expecting to be thrown out and discarded. She let herself focus on one problem at a time instead of drowning in dozens at once.

Right now this problem was Charlie. Or maybe he wasn't. She couldn't tell yet. She'd feared that the return of his mother three weeks ago would change things. In a way they did. Charlie didn't live with them anymore, only stopping by after school but sleeping at his own place. That was the most obvious change.

There wasn't a lot about his behaviour that changed and a part of Maeve wondered if she was overreacting, if she was reading too much into the slight shift she noticed.

She only knew Charlie for maybe a month, how was she supposed to know if his behaviour was normal? She didn't ask Ely, thinking that he might call her ridiculous, even though that would be very unlike Ely. She was still scared of it. Maeve definitely didn't ask Sydney, she didn't seem like the emotionally sensitive type. She didn't tell anyone, didn't want to make a problem out of nothing. Maeve didn't want people to think that she was seeking out trouble.

That didn't mean that she didn't notice it. Notice how Charlie started to smoke more and more, first it was two cigs for every one that Maeve smoked, then three. How he seemed a little more tired, a little more volatile, a little more on edge each day. The changes were so minimal that you could barely notice them on a day to day basis but when Maeve compared Charlie from the present and Charlie from a few weeks ago, she could see it. How his goofy smile had faded, making way for something sharper, something more bitter. How his light had dimmed just a fraction.

He also went out with Spencer more and more. Maeve didn't ask what they talked about, she felt like it wasn't her place. None of this was her place but she couldn't help it. Maeve knew what it felt like to slowly drown. She knew what it looked like, too.

But any time she asked Charlie how he was doing, if he was okay, how things at home were, he just waved her off and grinned. He'd say:"Same soup, just reheated. Mom's a cunt but we already knew that, at least she's a cunt that buys groceries." Or something along those lines and he'd smile but it wouldn't reach his eyes.

Maeve didn't know what to do, didn't know how to help, so she just tried to be there. Be a good friend. Be good.

Their relationship to each other was... Interesting. Maeve never really bonded with anyone her own age before. Especially not the way she did with Charlie. Ely was different, he was a through and through brotherly figure in her life and she had a bit of experience with that. But Charlie... Charlie and her weren't familial.

She wasn't dense, she could tell that he was flirting with her, that maybe she was even flirting back, even if she has no idea what she was doing.

Being with Charlie was easy, which was quite ironic considering that he seemed to be almost as chaotic as her. But it was. It was so easy. Because she didn't fear him. Not at all, not for a second.

Sure, she cared about Spencer, Max and Ely, she was even starting to trust them, but at the end of the day each of them could take everything they had given to her and rip it away, leaving her with nothing. She was always just one catastrophe away from loosing everything.

Charlie didn't have that power. He was just a guy that made her laugh, was nice and funny and just messy enough to not be freaked out by her. And he let her bum infinite smokes without ever complaining.

Charlie was pretty much the easiest thing in Maeve's life and Maeve wanted him. Wanted someone who would make something in her life simple. So she didn't really think twice when he asked her out.

It was a Friday. Maeve and Charlie were just leaving the science building and making their way over to the parking lot. Charlie automatically handed Maeve a smoke before taking one out for himself and lighting both of them.

Maeve spotted Sydney across the parking lot, leaning against a random car with a guy Maeve had never seen before making out with her. For some reason that startled her. She had just never imagined Sydney with a guy, she wasn't sure why. The guy was nothing special, tall, gangly with a mop of curly dark hair. Maeve sort of assumed that Sydney had impossibly high standards for partners, apparently not.

"I didn't know that Sydney has a boyfriend.", Maeve commented, tearing her eyes off of them and looking to Charlie.

Charlie followed her previous line of sight before smirking a little. "'Boyfriend' is a pretty loose term when it comes to Sydney's love life.", He stated before taking a puff of his cigarette. "She has a new one on a monthly basis. Sydney is a bit of a heartbreaker.", He added, his tone mimicking offence.

"I thought you needed a heart to be a heartbreaker. ", Maeve teased, making Charlie laugh. It made her heart beat a little faster.

"Not necessarily. You just need someone who has one that you can break. ", Charlie argued, getting Maeve to chuckle as well. Charlie looked over at the pair again, his smile fading a bit now.   
"I honestly don't know why she does it, she doesn't seem to enjoy any of them. Like, if she was just a fuck-girl I wouldn't care, more power to her, but whenever she brings one of the lucky bastards along it is seems like she's just tolerating them. Like, what's the point?", He wondered. He didn't sound like he was judging her, he just seemed genuinely confused.

Maeve could relate. Everything about Sydney was confusing to her. Not necessarily in a bad way. "I haven't yet figured out Sydney, I won't pretend that I understand this either.", She shrugged. They had arrived at Ely's car but the other boy wasn't there yet.

Maeve leaned against the car, facing Charlie now before placing the cigarette between her lips and holding it there. Charlie seemed cagey all of a sudden, he was running his hands through his hair and staring at the ground, like he was trying to gather the courage to say something. As far as Maeve had observed Charlie never struggled to speak his mind.

"Speaking of dating though. There was something I wanted to ask you.", He then said, still not looking at Maeve.

Maeve let out a puff of smoke before cocking her head to one side. "Yeah?", She asked, curiously.

Charlie kicked a stone that was laying on the pavement between them before glancing up at Maeve through the curtain of pink hair that fell into his face. He seemed nervous, which in turn put Maeve on edge. "Do you wanna...you know... Date me... I mean, go on a date with me, sometime...maybe tomorrow night?", He asked, actually stammering. Maeve was so surprised by all his nervous energy that it needed several seconds for the words to actually hit her and sink in.

A date. Charlie was asking her out on a date. He wanted to date her. Maeve felt like her brain was operating in slow motion. Charlie was actually interested in her. In a romantic way, none the less. It was a stranger thought. Nobody had ever been interested in Maeve that way. She just hadn't expected anyone to find her desirable.

It took her a whole while to actually start thinking about if she was even interested in Charlie. She didn't spend much time thinking about that, though. Charlie was great, she enjoyed his company. It only made sense to say yes.

Then Maeve remembered that she had a pretty strict curfew and she wasn't sure how Spencer would view this whole ordeal. She couldn't say yes before asking him for permission.

Eventually Maeve noticed that she had accidentally gotten lost in thought and had just been standing there, not reacting to Charlie at all, for god knows how long.

"I- I need to ask Spencer for permission first but- yeah! I'd like that!", She finally replied, a smile pulling at her lips.

A relieved expression spread on Charlie's face and his smile quickly spread into a wide grin. "Nice! Okay- Text me once you know if it's okay?", he asked, sounding excited and his excitement was contagious.

"I will!", She promised, her own smile widening as well.

"Nice-", Charlie nodded already distancing herself. "I'll go home now- I'll be waiting for your message!", He chuckled nervously before almost stumbling over his own feet, making Maeve let out a startled laugh. A little blush spread on his cheeks but he just shrugged it off "Bye!", He yelled, giving her a wave that Maeve returned with a grin.

"Bye!"

Maeve then waited for the others to arrive, spending her time by bouncing on the balls of her feet and somking her cigarette.

Dating Charlie... It was insane, not because it was Charlie but because Maeve had never done this before. She usually strayed away from things that she had no idea about. It wasn't like her to engage in unnecessary risks and this definitely was one. But still she wanted to try it, she wanted to experience what it was like to be in love, and have someone infatuated with her. She wanted the certainty that it was possible for someone to feel like that about her.

Soon Ely, Sydney and Kelly showed up and they drove of. Maeve didn't engage in conversation during the drive, mainly because Kelly was speaking for most of it and she honestly couldn't stand Ely's girlfriend. But she also couldn't stop thinking about Charlie and about tomorrow night. So once Ely dropped Kelly off at her home and it was only Maeve, Ely and Sydney in the car, Maeve couldn't hold it back anymore. "Charlie asked me on a date." It just burst out without any warning.

The reactions of the other two were instantaneous.

"What?!", Sydney gasped, showing more emotion than she usually allowed.

At the same time Ely simply exclaimed:"Finally!" Apparently he had anticipated this and wasn't surprised in the slightest.

"What do you mean finally? Did he tell you about it?", Maeve asked, electing to ignore Sydney's reaction for now.

"He didn't have to, it's pretty obvious that he's into you. I honestly thought that this was just a matter of time.", Ely explained simply. He didn't seem bothered in the slightest at the idea of Maeve dating one of his best friends. It was a relief for Maeve. She had been a little worried that he'd think that it was weird. Apparently he didn't.

"So you think I should say yes?", She asked him and Ely gave her a puzzled expression.

"I think you should do what you want. Do you wanna go out with him?", He asked her.

"I think so.", Maeve nodded when suddenly Sydney objected.

"Are you sure? You might not know but Charlie has a bit of a history with dating and dropping girls.", She explained. While Maeve was surprised to hear that about Charlie she was even more surprised that Sydney seemed to give a shit.

"Yeah, but that was high-Charlie and he was a dick back then. He's different now. And he seems to really care about you.", Ely argued, seemingly not noticing the sour expression on Sydney's face.

"But-", Sydney started to argue but Ely didn't seem to care for her objections.

He just turned to Maeve, brandishing his typical warm encouraging smile. "You can just try it and if it doesn't go well you can still abort mission.", He told her and it was good to hear that if this didn't go well, at least Ely wouldn't judge her for jumping ship.

"Yeah, I guess. First I need to get Spencer's permission anyways.", She shrugged before looking over to Sydney. The other girl had adverted her attention, looking outside the window now. She didn't say anything else for the rest of the car ride.

~

That evening Reid was working in his office. He had been at the BAU office all day, but he'd mostly been working on other cases. Their was frustratingly little development in Cat's case. It's like she dropped off the face of the earth. It put him on edge more and more the longer they didn't hear from her. The more time they needed to find her the more time she had to work out and perfect her next master plan and Reid was certain that there was one. Cat always had a plan and even when you thought you had figured it out, she still always had a few more aces up her sleeve.

He heard a soft knock on the doorframe of his office that got him to look up at Maeve. "Hey, can we talk?", She asked carefully, seeming nervous.

"Sure, what's up?", Reid asked, putting down the file he had just been working on. The last few weeks with Maeve had been... eggshell-fine. Things have been pretty good and peaceful but Reid was acutely aware that their peace was fragile and that things could quickly switch back into catastrophe again. So Maeve's nervous energy instantly caused Reid to worry.

Maeve came into the office and sat down in the armchair in front of Reid's desk. She was fiddling with her fingers anxiously and she didn't look at Reid when she spoke. "I wanted to ask you something.", She started. Reid's heart still ached every time when he noticed how nerve-wracking asking for something was for Maeve. "You see... Charlie asked me out on a date.", she said, looking up at him through the mess of her wild curls.

"He did?", Reid asked, even though he wasn't all that surprised. Charlie seemed... infatuated with Maeve from the beginning and he could tell that they both saw a lot of themselves in each other. He also talked about Maeve a lot in the last few weeks whenever they met. All in all Reid could see that Charlie had a crush on his daughter, now he had to deal with that.

"Yeah, tomorrow... it's totally okay if I'm not allowed- it's just, I think it could be really fun, and I like him, and I've never gone on a date before- And... I'm rambling." Maeve was indeed rambling but Reid didn't mind it. It was actually quite endearing. Whenever he noticed something about his daughter that reminded him of himself it made his heart beat a little faster.

"Maeve... It's okay! We're a family of ramblers.", he reassured her with a smile and Maeve hesitated for a moment before returning it.

"Yeah... Sorry... So, what do you say?", She asked carefully. Reid could tell that Maeve was excited about it and that she wanted to go out. Reid really liked seeing this spark in her and he wanted to keep it burning despite his worries.

"I don't have anything against it, and I am not really surprised. Charlie seemed enthralled with you from the beginning.", He replied and Maeve smirked at that.

"Enthralled, huh?", The girl chuckled at the word choice.

"Don't tell him I said that.", Reid ordered, his own amusement clear in his tone before getting a bit more serious again. "Charlie is a good kid.", he stated.

Maeve's smile faded a little as well. "Why do I sense a 'but'?", She asked and Reid hated that he had to be like this but he couldn't help but to worry. Not only about Maeve but about Charlie as well. They were both near and dear to his heart and he knew how easily both of them could get hurt, how flimsy their emotional well-being was and how quick both of them were to lash out in defense when they felt cornered.

"Can I say something without you taking it as an attack?", He asked Maeve carefully.

"I'll try not to.", Maeve replied somberly, her expression turning steely. She was bracing herself for whatever Reid would say next.

"You're both quite emotionally fragile. I wouldn't want either of you to get hurt.", Reid explained, as kindly as possible.

"You think I'd hurt him.", Maeve said, a small frown forming on her face, it wasn't phrased as a question. It's like she was certain that he thought she had malicious intent.

"I didn't say that.", Reid immediately cut in.

"And he'd hurt me.", She added, again, not a question.

Reid let out a sigh, hoping that he could still pull this around. "I don't think that either of you would hurt each other intentionally. But accidentally? Maybe. That's what I'm scared of. Because I care an awful lot about you.", He insisted and Maeve's expression softened a little.

The girl diverted her eyes and stayed silent for a moment, only fiddling with her hands in her lap. "It's just one date.", She eventually said, sounding meek and Reid hated this. He just wanted her to be happy.

"And I'd never forbid you to go.", He said and Maeve glanced up at him, looking hopeful. "But please be careful, for both of your sakes. If anything makes you even slightly uncomfortable, cut it off.", He asked her and a relieved smile spread on her lips. Reid got the feeling that Maeve had barely heard his warning, solely caring about his permission.

"Okay, thanks!", She nodded with a smile that grew wider by the second. She then got up and gave him another nod before rushing out of the office.

As much as Reid enjoyed seeing his daughter happy and excited, he also knew that both Maeve and Charlie were quite the chaos-attractors. He could only hope that this wouldn't end in disaster.

~

Maeve waited until she was in her room by herself to text Charlie. She closed her door behind her and leaned against it, opening their chat before typing: "So what are we doing tomorrow night?"

She watched the little check marks appear as he read her message and then she stared at the little bubble with the ellipses as he typed his reply.

"It's a surprise! I'm picking you up at 6!", his text said and Maeve's heart skipped a beat.

"Can't wait for it!", She returned before pressing her phone to her chest and launching herself on top of her bed. Maeve couldn't stop grinning.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! I hope you enjoyed the chapter! If you did leave a comment! I love reading them!


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